My walk through the most dangerous city in America

“I’m goin’ to Jackson, I’m gonna mess around, Yeah, I’m goin’ to Jackson, Look out Jackson town”
 
The top is down on our convertible, it’s 100 degrees (fahrenheit), and the stereo is blasting Johnny Cash’s Jackson as we drive into Jackson, Mississippi.
 
My mate Pete and I have been driving through the deep South … otherwise known as Trump country – Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, (Sweet Home) Alabama, and finally Nashville, Tennessee – for a work conference (well, that’s the excuse we gave our wives anyway).
 
We hired a Mustang, of course. It may be billed as the quintessential American muscle car, but in reality it has about as much grunt as Joe Biden before his morning nap.
 
We’ve also been adhering to a strict American roadside-diner diet of approximately 11,000 calories a day. After a week of bacon-on-bacon, my pre-diabetes has made my hands swell up so bad that I can’t remove my wedding ring.
 
Yee-haw!
 
We parked the Pony out the front of the Mississippi Capitol building – one of the grandest and most beautiful political buildings I’ve seen in my life – and took a walk downtown to stretch our legs.

Though looking back on it now, that turned out to be a big mistake …
 
Welcome to the Trump road trip.
 
Right now it feels like America is in the grips of a binge-worthy Netflix show:  
 
I’m calling it, ‘The final season of the United States’.
 
This show has it all … an assassination attempt. Pornstars. A coup against a (sleeping) President. And the star of the show is an overweight, 78-year-old white man with a spray-on tan.
 
Everywhere I went I asked people about the election.
 
And everywhere I went I got the same response:
 
A big ole cup of nutt’in.
 
Asking Americans about the election seemed to generate the same visceral response as that creepy in-law you’ve only met a handful of times, who stretches out their arms and says “where’s my hug”?
 
No-one wanted to touch it.
 
They may be the United States, but they are a deeply divided people. Nearly every person I spoke to admitted they’d lost friends based on the tribe they supported.
 
“It’s just so scary and … exhausting”, sighed Tyrone, my Uber driver.
 
Now I’ll tell you what’s scary – the streets of Jackson.
 
We didn’t know it, but it turns out that Jackson is actually a very dangerous city.  
 
In fact, it’s the most dangerous place in America, based on the number of homicides, which seems like a very appropriate yardstick for danger.
 
“Something about this place doesn’t feel good,” I said to Pete.
 
Pete pointed to a car that drove by us: “Maybe it’s the bullet holes in the doors?”
 
“Let’s get outta here now!” we both said in unison.
 
Snap!
 
Jackson has been called a ‘failed state’ …   a place where the government no longer functions.
 
Again, that’s not hyperbole.
 
After decades of mismanagement, and years of warnings about the city’s crumbling infrastructure, it all came to a head in 2022.
 
The city's water supply was badly contaminated and shut off, leaving its residents without drinking water (or flushing toilets) through the heat of the Summer. Even today, many residents live with brown water that smells of sewage and they refuse to drink it.
 
There are similarities to what’s going on on the national stage. Throughout this election the Democrats have read passionately from teleprompters at Hollywood-style rallies about the pressing problems the country faces … which they haven’t addressed in the last three-and-a-half years. While Trump has spent a lot of time arguing about the size of his … crowds. Neither has given much time to discussing the actual policies that would benefit the American people.
 
How does the show end?
 
Well, no-one knows, of course.
 
The only thing we do know is that Trump is incapable of losing (even if he loses, again) … and that is the ultimate cliffhanger that keeps us all watching.
 
Tread Your Own Path!

P.S. The night before we flew out, we went to a bar in Hollywood and met a young rooster who was crowing about the fact that he’d marched on Capitol Hill. He swore that Biden was already dead – “Weekend at Bernie’s style, man”.  Though I think he’d had one too many Harvey wallbangers.

Another barfly piped up and said that Kamala has it in the bag. He reckoned that in the next few weeks Joe Biden will have a medical ‘turn’ and announce that he has to stand down as the sitting President, which will officially make Kamala Harris the first black woman President – and she’ll ride that honeymoon period all the way to election day.
 
To add to the weirdness, TV star Sofia Vergara was standing right behind us, patiently waiting for a drink.
 
God Bless America!

Screen-free Sunday

Dear Scott, 
 
I wanted to let you know we were impressed with Screen-free Sunday and have instituted it for the second week running. (Though my kids point out that it should be followed swiftly by Mum-free Monday!) I just can’t get over how many families don’t do it, and I suspect it’s because many parents are attached to their devices too. In fact, that’s what is revolutionary about Screen-free Sunday – everyone has to participate!

Kelly
 
Hey Kelly
 
Congratulations!
 
We’re still doing it as well – and, like you, loving it! The only problem we’ve encountered is when the Melbourne Demons are playing an away game. My daughter is very much a stickler for the rules, which means we have to listen to it on the tranny!

Scott.

Trouble on the menu

Dear Scott,
 
I am a single divorcee, recently retired at 70 with about $650,000 in super after selling my inner-city house and relocating to the far north coast of NSW. My son is 37 and absolutely passionate about his chosen career as a chef, at which he is excelling. He used to talk about opening his own restaurant, but this hasn't been mentioned for a while. 
 
My ex-brother-in-law (a real estate agent) is trying to convince me to go into partnership with my son in a restaurant by gifting/loaning him $100,000 out of my super, saying that we will both make a motza. But I am really concerned about this for several reasons: Firstly, I’m pretty sure it would take a lot more than that to open a new restaurant! Secondly, my son and I are in a good place now (after some rocky times) and I don’t want to spoil that with the possible stresses of a business partnership. Lastly, I want to spend time travelling, and I don't feel that I can afford to lose that $100,000 if things were to go pear-shaped.

I trust my son with the money and I know absolutely that he would do his best, but I also know that hospitality is not all roses at any time. Am I being reasonable or simply overcautious?

Cautious mum

Hi Cautious Mum
 
You’re doing me out of a job!
 
Literally, I couldn’t have answered your question any better than you just did.
 
Do not doubt yourself … you are 100% right.
 
The only thing I’d add is to remind your ex-brother-in-law that he’s an EX for a reason – and to butt out of your business!

Scott.

Single Mum Turns Down $3 Million

Dear Scott,
 
I’m a single mother raising two children on my nursing wage. I have just paid off my house in Tasmania and am now adding 10% to my super each pay. I don’t renovate or travel far. No dishwasher and a broken oven. It has come to my attention that I am to inherit $3 million from a relative. This is generous but wealth like that brings complexity. I have set myself up to retire on $42,000 per year when I’m 65. I don’t need more and I prefer the simple life of living within my means. And I want my children to do well in their own right and own a home eventually. However, I don’t want to take the satisfaction of doing it themselves away. I was thinking of purchasing a large parcel of land in Southern Tasmania to protect it from developers in the future. What would you do?
 
Grace
 
Hi Grace
 
You are obviously a weirdo.
 
However, your weirdness comes from a place of deep contentment, wisdom, and living your values.
 
You have something that most people will never have:
 
ENOUGH!
 
Yet while it’s true that wealth does bring complexity, it also has its advantages, especially for a single working mother. So if I were in your shoes I’d divide the inheritance into three accounts:
 
First, I’d put a small amount in an online savings account for emergencies (and to fix your oven!).
 
Second, I’d put a large amount into an ethically invested index share fund (given you’re bent that way).
 
Why would you want to do this?
 
So you can be in a position to do the ‘Barefoot Property Ladder’ with your kids. You can incentivise your kids to save as hard as they can by matching their house deposit savings, dollar for dollar. (And remember, your kids may not choose to live in Tassie. If they instead choose to live in Sydney, you’ll need a bloody big ladder!)
 
Finally, I’d set up a private ancillary fund (PAF), which is a type of charitable trust. You donate money into the PAF and receive an immediate tax deduction. Then each year you can use the money to give to the charities you choose. The key is to get your kids involved in deciding where to donate this money. Who knows, hopefully some of what you’ve got will rub off on them!

Scott.

Best Returning Super Funds

Hey Scott,
 
I was reading about the best performing super funds, which were Mine Super, Colonial FirstChoice, and IOOF – all of which earned over 10% and easily beat my super fund (AustralianSuper). Have you looked at these super funds in detail, and would you consider switching if you were me?
 
Russell
 
Hi Russell
 
I view annual super fund returns tables like I do a tacky beauty pageant:
 
Fake tans. Fake nails. And the winning fund managers strutting around in evening dresses, posing for investors. Pass me the vomit bag!
 
The truth is that you do not want to be in the latest ‘hot’ fund.
 
Why?
 
Because statistics show that the lucky fund this year is just as likely to be next year’s dog.

Standard and Poor’s looked at the top-performing share fund managers two years ago and found that only 2% of them remained top performers today.
 
That explains why, over the past five years, 95% of Aussie share fund managers have underperformed an equivalent index fund ETF, after fees.
 
That’s why I think we should rejig the current super fund table – and instead rank them on fees. Any super fund charging its members over 1% should be made to get in a bikini and parade down Martin Place.
 
Scott.

A warning to all investors

Last week I watched my share portfolio get hammered as markets plunged across the globe.
 
And in response I’m doing something I rarely do …  I’m issuing a warning to all investors:  
 
It’s time to play dead.
 
Seriously.
 
I’ll have more on the how and the why in a moment, but for now let’s dip our hat to the headline writers, who well and truly earned their peanuts last week. Take this one for example:
 
“Bloodbath strikes Australia’s sharemarket … $102 billion wipeout!”
 
Scary stuff.
 
However, you could rewrite that headline as:
 
“Shares fall to levels not seen since January.”
 
Not so scary.
 
However, if I was allowed to write the headline last week, here’s what I’d have written:
 
“Investors rejoice: shares go on sale!”
 
Most people are still working and are therefore still adding to their superannuation, so they should be cheering on the chance to buy at lower prices.
 
No one ever does, of course. Instead, they totally freak out!
 
And that’s why, many years ago, I made the decision to put my investing plan on autopilot. Each month I automatically buy the same index funds.
 
It’s what I call a ‘one and done’ decision, and it works in my favour: you see, the truth is that, on average, the share market has a drop of 10% or more almost every year. And it’s also true that shares have never failed to recover and hit new highs.
 
So, finally, why do I think it’s time for investors to play dead?
 
Well, Fidelity, one of the biggest asset managers on the planet, did a study on their top-performing client accounts. Guess what they found? Over 10 years, the best returns came from clients who had either forgotten about their investments, or were dead!
 
Tread Your Own Path!

My Parents Don’t Support Me

Hi Scott,
 
My name is Laura and I’m 12 years old. A couple of months ago I was given a copy of Barefoot Kids. I’ve come to inform you that I’ve read it many times and it has inspired me to become a better person when it comes to money. But I have one problem: how can I convince my parents to let me go ahead with my money-making schemes? I write down plans, and I do a bit of a presentation, and I do research, but nothing works. My parents own their own small and successful business, which is why I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur myself. I get that they would rather me starting small and helping out with their business, but all I dream of is owning my own. Please help!

Laura
 
Hi Laura
 
Right now, there are thousands of parents who have just read your question and their mouths are as wide open as Joe Biden’s (and they also have the same dumbfounded look on their faces).
 
Here’s why: all that most parents get with their tweens is grunting, slamming doors, and eye-rolls … lots of eye-rolls.
 
You, on the other hand, are doing research and presentations, and pleading with your parents for their approval to let you use your initiative to work hard, learn, make money and grow as a person.
 
Some parents don’t know how good they’ve got it.
 
Here’s what I want you to do: put this under their nose. It doesn’t matter if they read my answer – it’s your question that I want them to read. After all, you said that they are your inspiration for wanting to become an entrepreneur.  
 
Sweet Baby Jesus!  
 
If any of my kids said that to me, I’d be a blubbering mess. That’s what every parent dreams of!
 
And after that, if they still don’t want to help you, I will.
 
Good luck.

Scott.

My Beautiful Little Tax Deduction

Hi Scott,
 
I have just been told of a way I can save more money on taxes as a sole trader that is perfectly legal and above board. Apparently I can employ my 14-year-old son on minimum wage to help me as a personal assistant, thus giving me a deduction of up to $18,500 on my taxes. I know I would still need to pay him super. I would pay that money into his account and deduct things like school fees from those earnings, effectively paying for his education, but he would pay no tax as he would be under the tax-free threshold. He would get some pocket money and I would pay less tax and also help with his school fees. This sounds too good to be true. What am I missing?
 
Natalie
 
Hi Natalie
 
What you’ve described has the whiff of tax evasion to me.

This will be like a game of pong for the ATO’s supercomputers – they’re likely to hit you eventually.
 
So all I can say is be ready: you’ll need the appropriate work contracts, documented hours and specific jobs, plus a payroll system and super payments.
 
The tax office says: “There are heavy penalties for taxpayers that deliberately attempt to gain an advantage of the tax system. This behaviour can lead to criminal prosecution.”
 
Is it worth the risk?

Scott.

My Wife Found the Lord … But Not a Job

Hi Scott,
 
My short question is this:
 
Is it legal for a partner to refuse to get work? And who can I turn to if they continue to refuse to get work?
 
The longer question:
 
When we got married, my wife gave up her well-paying job for us to start a family. Our plan was for her to give up work, then return to work when the children were in school full time.
 
Fast forward six years, both the kids are in school full time, and I’ve asked her about getting a job. She refuses to get one, but has spent the last four years doing various TAFE courses. Also, while studying she got heavily involved with a church. During this time her commitment to the church was far superior to her commitment to her family, with her often attending church activities and leaving me and the kids at home late into the night.
 
The house is a pigsty and we haven’t had guests over for at least five years. I’m mentally stressed from being the sole breadwinner, as well as consistently looking after the children. If I leave, I’ll potentially lose the house and assets I've paid for (she brought nothing financially to the relationship). And she point blank refuses to participate in any marriage or financial counselling. Where can I turn?
 
Dennis
 
Hi Dennis
 
The short answer is, no it’s obviously not illegal for a partner to refuse to work!
 
I’m not a relationship counsellor, but one thing I can tell you: whatever decision you come to, don’t make it based on money.
 
There is a lot to unpack here … yet I don’t think your wife getting a job will solve your problems.
 
Your real problem is that you’re living in an unhappy marriage where your wife is getting at least some of her needs met by her faith and the church rather than you.
 
So the real question you need to ask yourself is this:
 
Are you willing to try and improve the relationship … or are you too bitter, twisted and hurt?
 
The only person that can answer this question is you. And even if you do decide to try and improve your relationship – perhaps by going to church with her – there’s obviously no guarantees from her side. If you come to the conclusion that the relationship is cooked, that’s your main concern … not the money.

Scott.

A warning to anyone who taps their card

“Would you like your receipt?” asked the cashier at my local IGA.
 
I shook my head. I always shake my head.
 
After all, most receipts are a waste of paper and ink. And I know that if I do take one, just to be nice, I’ll shove it in my pocket and it’ll invariably end up going through the wash and Liz will yell at me.
 
In fact, if I’m buying something cheap these days I don’t even hang around to get asked the question.
 
I’m tapping, and I’m going!
 
As soon as I hear the ‘beep’ I’m off. “Stop me if it doesn’t go through”, I say as I charge out of the store.  
 
Yet this week I got a shocking letter that has made me slow the hell down at the store.
 
Hi Scott,
 
My husband did a silly thing. He often goes to a local bakery for a chicken sandwich, paying with his debit card. Last week, he did his usual routine: ordered, tapped his card, entered his PIN, picked up the sandwich, and continued on with his day.
 
Over the weekend, he noticed the bakery had charged him $1,300, not $13. He called the bakery, thinking it was a mistake. However, the owner accused him of being a scammer and refused a refund!
 
He then disputed it with the bank. The bank said that entering his PIN meant he had authorised the charge. So we’re now out $1,300 for a sandwich!
 
Natasha
 
Struth!
 
Talk about a sh…nitzel sandwich.
 
Thankfully my bank flashes up the transaction on my Apple watch and phone after I leave the store.
 
Your husband should definitely get that feature.
 
Yet here’s what I’d do about your situation.
 
First, I’d gather the evidence: get the bank to verify the merchant was indeed the bakery, and then print off the statement. I’d hand it to the bakery and ask very politely that they reverse the transaction.
 
And if they refuse, I’d tell them that your next stop is to the police station where you’re intending to press charges for theft.
 
Tread Your Own Path!

The Barefoot Confession

Hi Scott,
 
I used to be a sucker for personal development. I was always taken by the idea of the freedom that would come with the ‘laptop lifestyle’. Over seven years I spent over $100,000 in course fees and coaching programs and amassed $50,000 in personal loans. Bye-bye house deposit! I ended up working on the side as well, holding down three jobs to feed my course junkie addiction.
 
It wasn’t until I met my partner that I realised that I was the product, and that it was just another variant of an MLM scheme. So, over the past three years I’ve followed your steps and paid off my debt, and now I have $50,000 in my savings – slowly on the way to a 20% house deposit! I am so proud of getting back on track, and I feel I am finally free of those who preyed on my insecurities and desires to make themselves wealthy. I’ll be forever grateful for your level-headed path to true freedom, and better relationships too.      
 
Thanks for the confessional, and thanks for your work.
 
Lisa
 
Hey Lisa
 
As Dr. Phil says, thank you for sharing.
 
Your story reminded me of one of the oldest and most famous tales from self-development, called Acres of Diamonds. It was written in the late 1880s, and it tells the story of a farmer who sells his land and goes searching for diamonds. The new owner discovers a diamond mine on that same land. The moral of the story is that wealth and success is in our own backyard. You’ve proven that.
 
Shine on you crazy diamond.
 
You Got This!

Scott.

We’ve Made $11,400 Profit in Four Months

Hi Scott
 
My husband and I recently started trading CFDs (Contracts for Difference) online. We started with $500 thinking that “if it’s a scam, we’ll only lose $500”. We talk to one of their brokers (who is in Switzerland) a few times a week and it’s going very well (we’ve ‘made’ A$11,400 profit in four months). We have done a withdrawal of $100 to see if we have ready access to the money, and it came through with no problems at all.
 
The broker is now asking us to invest more money – up to US$100,000. We don’t have that kind of money, so he has suggested we set up an SMSF and invest some of our super. We always seem to miss the boat on financial opportunities, so I wanted to get your view on whether we should do it.
 
Rick
 
Hi Rick
 
Somewhere – probably in a compound in Laos – your name is written on a whiteboard.
 
These scammers have got you on the hook … and now they’re attempting to reel you in.  
 
The big barramundi for them is your superannuation. They plan on stealing every last cent of it and leaving you with absolutely nothing.
 
This happens to a trusting, unsuspecting Aussie every single day.
 
My advice?
 
Contact IDCare (idcare.org, 1800 595 160) and tell them you’ve been scammed.
 
Why would you do this?
 
Because here’s the thing that most crooks have worked out: the best people to scam are those who have already been scammed.
 
That’s you!
 
So don’t let it keep happening. IDCare will help you safeguard your identity online, and hopefully ensure your name doesn’t appear on any more whiteboards.
 
Scott.

The Future Olympian

Hi Scott,
 
I’m a 19-year-old athlete training for a qualification spot in the LA 2028 Olympics. Since finishing school, I’ve been working a full-time job to pay for all the training, competitions, overseas travel and extra expenses that come with being an athlete. Recently, I’ve been getting frustrated with the numbers. I can always just pay for all the expenses, but I never seem to get anywhere financially. The tough call is that any extra time I choose to work means less time for training, and vice versa. I’d love to eventually start saving for a house or maybe uni. Any advice? 
 
Kayla
 
Hi Kayla
 
Do you know how rare it is to have a single, driving goal that gets you out of bed each morning?
 
That’s gold (or silver, bronze or, heck, just the absolute honour of competing for your country)!
 
What I like about where you’re currently at is that it’s finite: you either get there in 2028 or you don’t, and you move on with your life.
 
Look, life isn’t about accumulating as much money as possible, it’s about creating memories. And you’re currently working on something that, when you’re sitting in an aged care facility in sixty years’ time, will be one of your most cherished memories.
 
The main thing to focus on is not going backward financially. As long as you can keep your head above water, you should go all in for the next four years. Then, if you apply the same steely dedication to your post-athletic career, education and financial situation, you’ll have nothing to worry about.
 
Follow your dream.

Scott.

If the economy is so screwed … why is the share market at all-time highs?

I was in at the ABC the other day when a young Gen Z bloke who worked there (whose hairdo made him look like one of my alpacas) nailed me with a killer question:

“If the economy is so screwed … why is the share market at all-time highs?”
 
Great question!
 
He’s dead right, of course. For most people the economy is ‘stuffed’. And it’s not just a feeling. Over the last year household incomes in Australia have dropped by more than in almost any other country in the world.
 
Yet, while our politicians are busy flogging the supermarkets with their own $20-a-kilo lettuce leaves, it’s not making much of a difference. Prices keep going up.
 
It’s shocking, and depressing ... and yet it does beg the question:
 
Does the share market know something about the future that we don’t?
 
Nehhhy …  spits Pedro the alpaca.
 
In fact, the share market has predicted nine out of the last two recessions!
 
Seriously, though, the question of why the share market is at record highs right now has a long answer.
 
(Interest rates coming down? Donald Trump going up? Artificial intelligence replacing us all? Who the heck knows? Not this alpaca farmer.)
 
Yet the short answer is actually pretty darn simple:
 
Shares mostly go up.
 
That’s right. Most years shares go up. That’s because the share market is really just a collection of businesses that make a lot of money and compound it over time.
 
The chart below tells the story:

The other thing you should know is that the term ‘record highs’ is a newspaper headline writer’s best friend: each day the share market goes up by even a point, it’s a new record high! The next day it may dribble up another couple of points. Another record high!
 
Now it is true that the share market occasionally crashes (though no-one can accurately predict when it will happen). Yet, as the chart shows, shares always recover.
 
That’s why I told the ABC kid the same thing I tell everyone:
 
Follow the Barefoot Steps, and become an investor.
 
Just don’t wait for the alpaca-lypse!
 
Tread Your Own Path!

Investing in Nvidia

Hi Scott
 
Given that artificial intelligence is going to change the world, up-end entire industries and render millions of people unemployed (hopefully not me!), I am thinking about investing a large part of my superannuation into Nvidia, the AI chip maker that is dominating the industry. But I just wanted your thoughts first. Do you invest in it?
 
Gary
 
Hi Gary,
 
So we’re currently at peak AI hype.
 
Investors are obsessed with the potential of artificial intelligence … and the chance of making a quick buck has got them treating Nvidia like a casino chip:
 
Last week Nvidia became the world’s most valuable company. This week it suffered the biggest three-day loss of any company in history ($646 billion), according to Bloomberg.
 
Something tells me that the croupier hasn’t yet called “no more bets”.

So would I invest in Nvidia?
 
Yes, I would. In fact I do. I own Nvidia (among hundreds of other stocks) through my international index funds, and that’s enough for me.
 
But would I go balls and all into Nvidia at it these prices?
 
Well, you could ask ChatGPT … but I’m a strong no.

Revenge of the Dollarmite?

Hi Scott
 
I recently found out that the bank signed up my 18-year-old son for an $8,000 credit card. He was so excited to be a grown-up, to have a job making enough to earn spending money, and to cross the line of being an adult by being given a credit card. I don’t for the life of me understand why the banks feel $8,000 is a good starting amount for someone who has never had to prove they can pay it back!
 
Sadly our story ends with me finding out about the credit card via the post when the default notice arrived. In six months my son had spent all the large balance and kept it secret – he is 18 after all – but has no skills to be able to understand the outcome he has created. We are working with him now to resolve his debt, but it’s clear the banks are setting up young adults for failure by allowing this amount of credit.
 
Kate
 
Hi Kate,
 
I agree with you – eight grand is a lot of credit to start him off with.
 
Now I’m showing my age, but back in my day the banks had a student package that came with a credit card with a $500 limit. Then they ramped up the limit from there (kind of like a meth dealer does).
 
The real danger of getting a credit card when you’re a kid (and, post the COVID lockdown, 18 is the new 13) is that they’re effectively teaching him to view his available credit balance as his money. It’s not, of course, but that’s how they can effectively impose a 20% tax on everything he spends, hopefully for the rest of his life.
 
Yet thankfully your son screwed up … and as a result he was booted out of the brainwashing.
 
This is a very good thing, Kate.
 
Please keep the parental helicopter on the helipad and do not bail him out under any circumstances.
 
This is a life-changing, teachable moment.
 
First, explain the seriousness of a default notice: the bank could take legal action against him, and he now has a black mark on his credit file.
 
Second, have him calculate how much the credit card has actually cost him in interest. That’ll make him feel sick. Then jump on ASIC MoneySmart’s website and show him the bank’s plan for that $8,000 credit card. Making the minimum payments would take 61 years to pay off and $44,168 in interest.
 
Finally, when you’ve scared the living bejeezus out of him, have him call the bank and negotiate a payment plan to pay off every last cent of the debt.
 
Play your cards right and this may just be the best financial thing that ever happens to him.

Scott

I’m Disappointed in You, Barefoot

Scott,
 
You used to be informative. Now it’s very transparent that you are charging brands to advertise on their behalf. Not happy, Jan.
 
Jan
 
Hi Jan
 
Well I’m not happy with you, Jan.
 
You are referring to my recent column on the electric blanket I bought.
 
(I’m just trying to keep people’s beds HOT. So shoot me.)
 
For the record, all I did was write about a recommendation by CHOICE.
 
And I’ll have you know that I paid full pud for both the blanket and the CHOICE subscription.
 
For reasons I still don’t understand, my newspaper editor pays me way too much money to write about irrelevant things like electric blankets. Take it up with him, Jan.

Scott.

My Mother has a Lover

Hi Scott
 
My mother has been sending large amounts of money to a holiday fling for the last 14 years. She has almost lost her home, she’s drawn on her super, and I fear she will be in dire straits soon if this continues. It happened like this: in 2010 she met a young Casanova in Egypt, and a holiday fling quickly became a business partnership. My mother has zero business experience. She’s borrowed against her home to fund some outlandish ideas. She has been back a number of times and has seen where her money has gone – apparently! I’m not sure whether it was the car manufacturing plant or the haute couture fashion house. I wish I was kidding – these are examples of their ‘ventures’. Despite 14 years, hundreds of thousands of dollars and zero return, she’s even more optimistic now. In reality she is a teacher struggling to find a permanent position because she is past retirement age, is burdened with debts she can no longer afford, and has enough super to keep her until Christmas this year. And she will not listen to my concerns! I was hoping this was something I could report to the relevant authorities so they can intervene before she loses everything.
 
Linda
 
Hi Linda
 
That sounds like one hell of an expensive shag!
 
Still, you can’t call the cops. From the sounds of it, he’s not doing anything illegal (immoral perhaps, but not illegal). And you’ve tried talking sense to her, but clearly after 14 years that hasn’t worked.
 
So what can you do?
 
Well, you need to protect yourself emotionally and financially.
 
I’d suggest writing a letter to your mum explaining how much you love her and how concerned you are for her financially. Then detail the likely consequences of her actions. Paint her a picture of what her retirement will look like. How will she service her debts when she’s too old to work?
 
Understand her debts will die with her: you won’t inherit them … but that also means you won’t inherit any dough from her either. So double down on your Barefoot plan!

Scott

The new (better) Bali

“Don’t lick the tray table!” I warned my three-year-old as we boarded the plane to Tokyo.
 
His bottom lip dropped and he whined, “Are we there yet, Dad?”
 
“No, we’re still on the runway, mate”, I sighed.
 
Still, I knew that wedging myself into an economy seat next to germ-boy for the next 10 hours would be well worth it. After all, Japan is the thinking man’s Bali. (In fact, Bali was dethroned as Aussies’ favourite spot for international travel on last year’s Expedia ranking.)
 
So it’s official: Kuta is cringe … Kyoto is cool.
 
And the figures back this up: the number of Aussies visiting Japan in May this year is up a staggering 63% on last year, according to the Japan National Tourism Organization (JNTO).

Why?

Well, because for many Aussies Japan is a parallel world:
 
Everyone is impeccably polite and respectful.
 
Their subway system is cheap, clean, safe and on time (as in, to the second).
 
Their public toilets are cleaner than mine at home … and they sing when you flush them.
 
Yet the biggest thing you notice is that food is really cheap. Unlike in Australia, where you have to Afterpay a banana, in Japan we would load up on good-quality gyoza, sandwiches and bao buns from the 7-Eleven for A$3 a pop … or we’d grab a bowl of ramen at a restaurant for less than A$10.
 
This is a far cry from the go-go 80s when Tokyo was one of the most expensive cities in the world.
 
Yet with their economy a chopstick away from a recession, and the yen plummeting – it’s now 25% cheaper to visit than since before the bat-flu – Tokyo has actually become a shopper’s paradise (especially given that in most department stores you can shop tax-free simply by showing your passport).
 
Ring those bloody registers!
 
This explains why ‘G’day’ to a Japanese shop owner translates to ‘kerching’: Aussie tourists are (per capita) the biggest spenders in Japan, according to the JNTO.
 
Not that I got to do much shopping.
 
A few days into our trip, germ-boy predictably came down with a fever … and promptly gave influenza to his mother, sister and two brothers. They couldn’t lift their heads from their futons. So I spent the last week in a hotel room roughly the size of a Kia Carnival – with no windows or natural air – playing doctor Scott.
 
Sayonara, Tokyo!
 
Tread Your Own Path!

The Diamond Heist!

Barefoot,
 
I’m a jeweller, and I much prefer the authenticity of a real diamond. Yes, natural diamonds cost more (though only a small percentage are ‘blood diamonds’). However, they will also ultimately gain in value, whereas lab grown diamonds have no value once they become second hand.
 
Linda

Hey Linda,
 
I’d like you to put down your cute little magnifying glass, because I’m about to hit you with the bleeding obvious:
 
Literally no one buys a diamond ring with the thought that it will be rejected and then re-sold.
 
Didn’t you read the script? It clearly states “till death do us part”.
 
Nor is it seen as a financial investment that can easily be hocked off in a few years’ time when the Ford Territory needs a new set of tyres.
 
As any divorcee knows, the resale value of a mined diamond ring is roughly the same as that of a three-year-old laptop.  
 
Having said that, I grant it will have a higher resale value than a lab-grown diamond.
 
And if a potential suitor is stressed about pulling a hammy as they get down on one knee, I’d argue that they’d be more likely to hedge their bets with an ‘ethical’ diamond ring that’s 90% cheaper. (Although I must admit quite a few readers this week pointed out that the lab-grown diamond process uses all sorts of environmentally dodgy gases – not so ethical after all, apparently.)
 
Finally, mined diamonds are valuable only because De Beers has rigged the price for decades. As I said last week, there are said to be 39 billion stones in existence – more than five for every person on Earth 

Now that is a lot of supply!

Scott.