The Poo Test

Hi Scott,

Thanks for the Swedish Death Cleaning column last week. I suspect this is going to be a repeat in your inbox but here goes anyway: have you heard the new approach to culling? It’s called the ‘poo test’. You ask yourself: “If this had poo on it, would I wash the poo off to keep it?” If the answer is ‘no’, then donate it or toss it out.  I think it resonates well, especially with kids. Keep up your awesome work. 

Linda

Hi Linda,

Actually, my inbox was not inundated with people talking about the ‘poo test’.

In fact, you were the only one.

Look, I love a good decluttering hack as much as the next guy. (You should’ve seen the actual response to Swedish Death Cleaning – my inbox was practically hyperventilating with excitement.)

But your poo test? My kids were even grossed out by this one, and they’re surrounded by sheep poo!

Whatever happened to good old-fashioned “Does this spark joy?” or “Would I buy this again today?” I mean, imagine applying this test at Myer: 

“Would you like this salad spinner?”

“Hmm … if it had poo on it, would I wash it?”

“Please leave the store.”

Here’s to doing some Swedish Death Cleaning and then sending all that unwanted clutter to the local opp shop – clean.

Scott.

The Uncomfortable Wife

Hi Scott,

I own my home, have five of my own children still at home, and recently married a second time. My new husband does not want to combine our money or have the same accounts, and he wants to keep everything separate. He has no assets, savings or superannuation. He works on commission, and he is 10 years off retirement age. He contributes here and there, but l feel uncomfortable. Should l get a prenup now? 

Felicity

Hi Felicity,

This ain’t your first rodeo … so why are you acting like a rodeo clown?

You may think this guy is a puny pony, but he is every bit the bucking bronco:

He has no assets, no savings, no super, no reliable income … and no plan. 

My worry is that he’s likely to turn around one day and decide to launch you into the cheap seats. 

After all, he says he wants to keep money separate – yet he enjoys the use of your assets and doesn’t contribute consistently?

Easy, horsey!

It’s time you pull the reins in on this bloke and lovingly drive your spurs deep into his guts. 

Here’s how:

Book in to see a family lawyer today.  

Now, you can’t get a prenup after you’re married! So the legal document you need is a Binding Financial Agreement (BFA) – and you should absolutely get one. Also, update your will and estate plan to protect your kids. 

Felicity, you do not need permission to protect yourself and your kids. Enjoy the ride.

Scott.

Are You Okay?

“Are you okay? If you need a hand with anything, call.”

I stared at the text while I stood ankle-deep in a kiddie pool, orange juice in hand. 

I was at a kids’ birthday party. The sender? A farmer who lives 20 clicks from me.

Then Liz came out with her party hat on and said:

“There’s an out-of-control fire near the farm … and the wind is blowing in the wrong direction.”

I nervously sipped my juice while my family gave me my marching orders: 

I was told to go home and collect a stuffed cheetah, two teddy bears, and a prized poster of Kysaiah ‘Kozzy’ Pickett. Oh, and the passports. (“Dont’ forget the the damn passports!”)

I’ll be honest, as I drove back to the farm I was slightly freaked out. 

Still, a lot of people all over Australia have been feeling this way lately: with the cyclone, floods and fires (thankfully the fire near our place was eventually contained). And even if you haven’t – you sure as hell have been burned by your insurer. As one Barefooter wrote to me recently:

“Our home Insurance has tripled – from $400 per month to over $1,200. Why is no one talking about this?! You can't even get a mortgage without having insurance, so there is no way out!”

Sheizenhowzen! 

Over a third of insurers have increased prices by more than 15% in the last year (the worst hikers according to CHOICE were Kogan, RAC and Honey). 

Now that doesn’t sound too bad right?

Well, hold my OJ:  

In a recent ‘shadow shop’, CHOICE found the biggest price difference between identical home and contents insurance policies wasn’t double or even triple … it was TWENTY TIMES.

Blitzenschnauzer!

Okay, so here’s what I want you to do.

First, load up Mr Inbetween on Binge (thank me later), grab your preferred brew, get your phone out of your pocket, and take prime position on the La-Z-Boy. We’re going to do some multi-tasking.

1. Grab your home and contents policy (or just contents if you’re renting) and find your ‘sum insured’ – that’s the total amount you’re covered for. Write it down.

2. Next, google three quotes. 

3. Right-yo, it’s time to get off the recliner. Grab your phone and film your place like you’re making a true-crime doco – open cupboards, dig through drawers, and don’t forget the garage. If you ever need to claim, this footage will be worth its weight in gold.

4. Then walk outside and act like a meth-head casing the joint: Do you have a yappy dog? Deadbolts on the door? Security cameras? Note down anything you’ve done to Fort Knox your home.

5. Then call your insurer and follow this script:

You: “Hi, my name is [Your Name] and I’m really struggling to afford my home and contents insurance policy. I’d like to discuss how we can reduce my premium. My policy number is XYZ.”​

Insurer: “I’d be happy to help.”​

You: “After a lot of research, I’ve found comparable coverage from other insurers at more competitive rates. Additionally, I’ve implemented several safety measures in my home, such as [consult your meth-head list]. Given these factors, I’m seeking a reassessment of my premium.”​

Insurer: “Let me review your policy and see what adjustments we can make.”

Cue condescending loop of a voiceover woman saying “Your call is important to us".

Insurer: “Thank you for your patience. Based on the information provided, we can offer a premium reduction of [amount].”​

You: “I appreciate that. However, considering the competitive quotes I’ve received, plus the safety enhancements I’ve made, I believe there’s room for a more substantial reduction. Additionally, I’m willing to increase my excess, which should further lower my premium by at least an additional 10%.”

Insurer: “I understand. Let me see what more we can do.”​

James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” plays.

Insurer: “After further review, we can offer an additional discount, bringing your new premium to [new amount].”​

You: “Now we’re talking. Send me that in writing and we’re good.”

Insurer: “Done! Anything else?”

You: “Yes, please cancel my auto-renew immediately.”

Insurer: “Are you sure? That’s how we screw you next year.”

In the time it takes you to watch the first episode of Mr Inbetween, you should be able to save yourself hundreds and potentially thousands of dollars.

There’s only one thing left to do. My final instruction is to send me an email at scott@barefootinvestor.com and tell me how much you saved. I’ll report back next week. 

Tread Your Own Path!

My Mother Is Acting Like a Teenager

Hi Scott,

I’m nearly 18 and the only one bringing in money for my family. Mum’s been out of work for 17 years – tried a job but quit due to bullying. Dad pays minimal child support and, despite cutting costs, we’re drowning in bills. Mum ‘borrowed’ $1,700 from my savings, leaving me with $2,100, and now she and my sister want to start a clothing business. I’ve started a part-time job, but I feel pressured to cover our expenses. I get $200 a fortnight from Centrelink and I’m expecting a $20,000 injury payout that I wanted to invest. I love Mum, and she’s sacrificed so much, but I’m about to start uni and I have my own goals. How do I support my family without sacrificing my future?

Kelly

Hi Kelly

First of all, I just want to take a moment to recognise how awesome and mature you are: there are very few 18-year-olds who would have the insight and emotional intelligence to write me a letter like you’ve just done. 

Now it sounds like the roles are reversed in your household: your mum is acting like a teenager and you are playing the role of the responsible adult. That’s a lot to take on, but I have the sense that you’re up to the challenge, Kelly.

Here’s what I’d suggest.

First, protect that payout. A $20,000 windfall at your age is life-changing. Consider sticking it in a locked-off term deposit, or in a low-cost share index fund, where it’s out of reach but still growing. Whatever you do, don’t let guilt drain it away.

Second, sit down with your mum and lay out the hard truth: you’re going to uni, you’re not funding the household anymore, and she needs a real job, not a business gamble.

Finally, you’re about to start your adult life. Set up your Barefoot Buckets, save aggressively, and focus on uni. Helping isn’t giving your family money – it’s showing them what real financial responsibility looks like.

Good luck!

Scott.

My Boyfriend’s Addiction Has Cost Us $30,000

Dear Barefoot,

I’m 25, and I’m really worried about how much my partner has lost on cars. He loves them, and I used to love that too – until his latest purchase, a $30,000 sporty luxury car (bought with a personal loan), turned into a financial nightmare. Expensive insurance, high running costs, and a brutal commute wore it down, then the engine blew – costing us $9,000. We cut our losses, bought a more practical (but still fun) VW Golf, and listed the old car for sale, but no one’s biting. We’ve dropped the price below $19,000, but we’re getting lowballed, and I’m terrified we’ll lose close to $30,000 overall. To top it off, he thinks I should buy my own car because I can’t drive a manual. I love him but I feel so helpless. I’ve always been frugal, and seeing this much money vanish hurts. Can you please tell me it’s going to be okay? 

Heather

Hi Heather,

Your partner is acting like my four-year-old, who spends all his pocket money on Tonka trucks (though at least he pays with his pocket money, rather than taking out personal loans like your partner does).

Now there is something your petrolhead partner probably knows … that he isn’t telling you:

This is possibly the worst year to be selling a second-hand car. 

That’s because right now a flood of second-hand vehicles is overwhelming the market, with the Australian Automotive Dealer Association (AADA) reporting a surge in listings but a sharp drop in sales. Cars are currently sitting on the market for nearly 49 days, and the AADA says 2025 is shaping up to be a bloodbath for sellers.

So, what to do?

Well, I think it’s time for your little boy to pack up his toys. This car needs to go, yesterday. I don’t care what he ‘believes it’s worth’ – he clearly ain’t an expert, and it’s a rapidly depreciating hunk of metal. So, if I were in your shoes, I’d drop the price aggressively, sell it, and clear as much of that loan as possible. If he still owes money on the loan, he needs to work his backside off to cover the difference.

Finally, let’s talk about you for a second. You say you’re frugal, yet you’re watching your financial future get torched. You can’t build wealth when your partner is setting it on fire, Heather. 

So, on your next Date Night you need to sit down, lay out the numbers, and have a genuine conversation about the fact that one of your core values is financial security. If he’s not willing to change, you might need to consider a trade-in of your own.

Oh, and one last thing: he thinks you should buy a car? 

No. You should learn to drive a manual. Problem solved – at zero cost!

Scott.

Swedish Death Cleaning

It’s been an emotional week. 

Eleven years ago, a fire tore through our farm and took everything we owned. We were left with just the clothes on our backs. Our baby? Just his nappy. 

Yet this week, as I walked through our home, one thought kept hitting me over and over:

Where the hell did all this crap come from?

For years I’d blamed our four kids, because they’re messy (and it deflects from my own shortcomings). However, the truth was that we’ve been unconsciously living by the motto, ‘Why get rid of something when you can shove it in a cupboard and forget about it forever?’

And so, on the anniversary of the fires, I was determined to return to minimalism. I even dusted off the multi-million-copy bestseller The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. Her advice is to pull out everything you own and ask a simple question:

“Does this spark joy?”

Hmmm. 

If I actually did this, I’d be left stark naked holding my prized chestnut cracker. 

For this project I needed something a little more … hardcore. 

Enter: Swedish Death Cleaning.

Swedish death cleaning (or ‘döstädning’) was coined by Margareta Magnusson, a Swedish woman who found herself drowning in the possessions of her late parents. After lugging boxes of broken appliances, sifting through drawers of expired soy sauce packets, and collecting enough souvenir teaspoons to open a museum, she had an epiphany: “Why am I dealing with all this crap? And, more importantly, why would I do this to my own kids?”

So, with death on my mind, I tackled the kitchen, creating three piles:

The first was ‘recycle or throw out’. The second was ‘donate’. (Together these added up to around 80% of the stuff that we’d been hanging on to.)

The final, much smaller, pile was ‘keep’. 

Yet I wanted to go the full Swedish. I realised that we might not need, say, a set of fancy spatulas, so I placed them in a big box with a lot of other ‘maybes’ and placed the box on the veranda. I’ve put a reminder in my phone for one month’s time. If I haven’t needed or used anything from that box, I’ll donate it.

Marie Kondo was right – getting rid of your stuff really does have life-changing benefits:

First, it lightens your mental load, especially if you’re ruthless.

Second, it makes you really value the stuff you keep.

Oh, and as a bonus, some of the stuff you give away may actually spark joy for someone else.

Tread Your Own Path!

My Bag Men

Dear Scott,

Here is a picture of my boys with their bags full of toys to donate. They saved just under $250 this year, and I let them loose in Kmart. They had a ball and put so much thought into the presents. They don't get a lot of pocket money compared to most kids, because I’m a single mother, but I’ve tried to instil in them how important giving back is. Thank you for everything you do. 

A Very Proud Mum

Ah, you got me.

Your letter brought a tear to my eye.

By bringing up hardworking, kind boys, you’re creating a ripple in the world.

You have every reason to be a very proud mum.

You got this!

Scott.

I’m on FIRE

Hi Scott,

I’m 27 and I’m currently aiming to achieve dividend FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early, i.e. living off income from dividends in the future). I’m fortunate enough to have purchased my own house with help from my family, but my future goals have left me with a few questions. Should I prioritise paying off my house or investing? The ChatGPT number being spit out at me for my desired goal seems absolutely insane ($3m, which might as well be a billion). I’m worried that by the time I reach my goal, I’ll be close to retirement anyway. I wonder if the sacrifices I am making now are worth it, or if I should be taking a more balanced approach and enjoying life along the way instead. What do you think?

Lincoln

Hey Lincoln,

Let’s play this one out.

You spend your twenties and thirties eating baked beans – without the beans – because every cent belongs to Vanguard. You manage to save 75% of your income, and tell yourself you don’t need a social life because your true friends are compound interest and low-cost ETFs.

Then you retire.

What are you going to do with yourself for the next 50 years?

Hang out at your local Men’s Shed and build birdbaths with the local lads?

Farm chestnut trees? (Oh, wait.)

Or more likely you’ll do what many retirees do who’ve turned off the income tap for the final time:

Stress about every move of the share market.

So let’s talk about the $3 million stretch target that ChatGPT suggested for you. The Aussie share market historically has a dividend yield of 4%, which would give you roughly $120,000 in annual income. That will get you an annual holiday at the Ouyen Caravan Park (in a tent).

Look, I admire the FIRE movement for its focus on saving and investing … to a point. 

Yet you also have to ask yourself:

Why are you so hell bent on retiring? 

Dude, I’ve had yoghurt in the breakout room fridge that’s been at work longer than you!

Instead, I’d really encourage you to change your focus. 

Spend your twenties and thirties doing interesting stuff. Maybe start a business. Or do a random job that you really enjoy. Travel. Find a career that you love. 

Whatever you do, don’t make your life all about money.

Scott.

You're Out of Touch, Barefoot

Scott, 

I read your latest column and wasn’t that impressed with your ‘forget about it’ number of $100. Even though I earn $175,000 a year, I’m the type who hunts for bargains even if it’s just saving a few bucks. Sure, I won’t fund a house deposit by filling up on cheap petrol or buying half-price snacks, but that mindset has kept me from wasting money on non-essentials – and it’s worked. If I want to buy something unnecessary (like an omelette maker), I wait two weeks to make sure it’s not just FOMO, marketing hype, or a passing obsession with the perfect omelette. It would be good to hear about what non-negotiable rules might be more relevant to everyone else who reads your newsletter.

Sarah

Hi Sarah,

My idea is to create your own money rules that become habits …  and that the best way to build habits that stick is to make them part of your core identity. 

So I’m guessing part of your identity is that you’re smart with money (though your friends may refer to it as being a total ‘tight-arse’. After all, you’re in the top tax bracket but you’re out there bartering with the checkout lady over dented canned goods.)

But hey, you do you!

Frugality is great if it’s intentional and not just a lifelong habit of financial paranoia. My point isn’t to waste money – it’s to not waste mental energy on small purchases that don’t matter in the long run.

Scott.

About that rate cut

Let’s talk about interest rates.

Watching Reserve Bank Governor Michele Bullock announce the first rate cut in four years reminded me of my kids when I let them watch TV. 

“You get one episode … and that’s it!” I announce, like a TV judge delivering his final verdict.

And yet they don’t even get halfway through an episode of Bluey before they start begging for another. 

“Just one more! They’re not long enough, Dad! Puhh-leeease!”

(At which point I tend to fold like a cheap Aldi camping table.)

So, will they cut rates again next month, or won’t they?  

Well … you’ll just have to stay tuned! 

Bugger Bluey, this is like an episode of MAFS, but without the Botox.headlin And in blazers. 

Yet, while the rest of the world debates what will happen in 30 days’ time, I think it’s much more interesting to look at what’s happened over the last 30 years.

Let’s take a look at my favourite chart:

Yes I know, this chart tracks every interest rate decision stretching back to the nineties. 

However, given most people are going to have a home loan for 25 or 30 years (more if you’re in Sydney!), having a rubberneck at the past doesn’t strike me as the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.

Now here’s what strikes me when I look at this historical chart:

First, current interest rates don’t look that high.

Second, not one person on earth correctly called each rate change in real time (and that includes the people setting them at the Reserve Bank!).

So, where does that leave us?

Well, whenever you see a headline predicting interest rates, don’t bother reading the article. There’s a very good chance they’ll be wrong. Instead, use it as a reminder to check your current home loan rate – then call your bank and whine like my kids.

Remember, there are only two ways to pay off your mortgage quicker: make extra repayments, and lower your interest rate. 

Right now the best rates are a smidge under 6% for online lenders like Unloan, which is CommBank’s Jetstar brand. Use that as the basis of the negotiation. (Just remember, negotiating with lenders is like MAFS: Banking Edition: the hotter your financial package, the more lenders will fight to shack up with you.) 

Yet what if right now you’re one of those people drinking watered-down red cordial and praying to the interest rate Jesus to deliver you salvation on your repayments? 

If you’re barely holding on, here’s my advice:

Panic Early.

Make the hard decisions now. If you need help, see a financial counsellor (1800 007 007) or your bank’s hardship department. Whatever you do, create a realistic plan and begin working on it. Trust me, the Bluey doghouse looks a lot cuter on TV than it does in real life.

Tread Your Own Path!

The Fairy Floss Boss

Hi, my name is Theo. I want to start a fairy floss business. I’ve done a business plan but my mum called the insurance people and they said that they don’t give 10-year-olds insurance. I’m really disappointed. So I was wondering, is there another way to do it?

Thank you, Theo

Hey Theo

Mate, you are amaze-balls. The fact that you’ve gone to the trouble of writing out a business plan shows me how keen you are.

So here’s your first lesson in business: as an entrepreneur you’re going to run up against lots of people (like old squirrel nuts from the insurance company) who will tell you ‘no’ and explain all the reasons why something can’t be done. (It’s not their fault – these people really need some of your fairy floss, but all they have is the bamboo skewer up their behinds).

So here’s my advice: 

Don’t listen to them. There is always a way.  

In fact, let me give you three ways:

First, you could partner with an adult – like your mum! The business and insurance could be in her name, and you can still be the brains behind it all. 

Second, you could partner with an existing business and sell your fairy floss at a local sweet shop, corner store, cafe, or online store. 

Finally, you could sell your fairy floss at events – like school fetes, fundraisers or farmers markets – where the organisers already have their own insurance. 

Or better yet, try all three!

I’ve got a good feeling about you, Theo.

Now unfortunately I’m trying to keep my blood sugars down (yes, I’m old), but my four little kids would totally inhale your fairy floss. So, last night at dinner, as they dutifully chewed their broccoli and chicken, they all unanimously agreed:

“We’d LOVE to be your first customers.”

Talk soon, Scott

My Brother-in-Law is a Parasite – Help!

Scott,

My brother-in-law has it sorted – he has a mail-order bride, kids, and he’s living rent-free with my mother-in-law. Every Christmas and birthday, they expect us to buy them top-tier Apple gear (we once got their 10-year-old a $2,000 iPad Pro). When we stopped funding their wishlist, he just blew his own money – then came to us for car repairs and other essentials. I gave him a copy of your book, thinking it would help. He promptly asked for $10,000 to ‘invest’ in the stockmarket, which he has now lost. Recently I offered to pay him to do some odd jobs for me on the weekend he refused. Sadly, ceasing contact with said brother-in-law is not an option due to cultural issues which promote familial harmony. Do you have any suggestions?

Emma

Hi Emma,

Oh yes, I have suggestions.

Look, parasites thrive on guilt and obligation – which of course is code for ‘family harmony’. He doesn’t want your help – he wants a handout.

My view?

You’ve got to make peace with the fact that saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you a bad person – it just makes you someone who refuses to be financially manipulated. In other words, it’s time to bust out the bum chocolate (or combantrin, that’s what my kids call it anyway).

So the next time he comes asking for money, tell him:

“We’re always here to support family, but real support means helping each other stand on our own two feet. We’re happy to offer opportunities, but not cash.”

Will that work?

Yes, if you stick to your guns. 

But beware: once he realises you’re no longer the easiest meal, he’ll move on to someone else in your family (good for you,  bad for them). Because that’s the thing about parasites: they don’t starve – they just find another host.

Scott.

What are your Money Rules?

“Jeez, mate … what the hell happened to you?” I said to Benny, an old farmhand I once employed.

He’d shed so much weight since I last saw him that he looked like he’d been kidnapped by a pack of Pilates instructors.

“You been getting the Hollywood Shot?”

Blank stare.

“You know … Ozempic?”

More silence.

He shrugged. “Nah, mate. I just don’t eat after 5pm.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep. I used to binge on crap and drink too much at night. So I made that rule. And I’ve stuck to it for the best part of a year”, he told me.

Winner, winner, (no) chicken dinner!

Now Benny has unintentionally stumbled upon something pretty profound: the power of personal rules. A simple, clear-cut rule can short-circuit the endless decision-making process and make life easier.

This is exactly the thinking behind the mega-bestseller Atomic Habits by James Clear. His philosophy is simple: instead of focusing on goals, focus on your identity. “Every action is a vote for the type of person you want to become”, he says. And the best way to cast those votes? By making your habits automatic.

For years I’ve applied this thinking to money. I don’t rely on willpower – instead I’ve created my own Money Rules. These are automatic, non-negotiable rules that keep our finances (and my sanity) in check. 

Let me share a couple with you:

We (still) go on a Date Night on the first Tuesday of every month

Yes, the same day as the Reserve Bank meeting (super romantic). But, despite having four kids under 11 and a life that’s a total shemozzle, we make it happen. Every action is a vote for the type of relationship we want, and a monthly Date Night is a vote that we’re connected, committed, and eating food that hasn’t been touched by tiny fingers.

We buy shares every month

On the day after our Date Night, I buy shares (index funds of course). Some months it’s a lot, some months it’s a little. The point? I’m an investor, so I invest. I don’t try to time the market. I just stick to the habit.

We give every month

Giving isn’t just about charity – it’s about breaking the chains of materialism, feeling grateful, and ensuring our kids don’t grow up to become contestants on MAFS. Talking about giving is as normal in our family as talking about spending.

We can spend $400 without asking each other

Liz and I famously share the same bank account. That can at first sound kind of creepy, but we do it because it forces us to have chats about money (like when Liz is at the hairdresser and suddenly realises there’s not enough in the account). We’ve set a $400 no-questions-asked spending limit. Anything over that, we chat about on Date Night. It works for us, but let’s be clear – joint accounts aren’t for everyone, especially in abusive relationships.

We don’t stress over omelettes

Even after nailing all the Barefoot Steps, I can still catch myself sweating the small stuff – like spending two hours researching a $45 omelette-maker, or spiralling into a pit of despair from copping an excess baggage fee on good old ‘Onestar’. So, I created a ‘forget about it number’: if it’s under $100, I let it go. My time and sanity are worth more than a few bucks, and yours probably are too.
 
Benny, my old farmhand gets it: one simple rule changed his life. No fancy diet apps, no expensive medication – he made a decision once, and then let his rules do the rest.

Now it’s your turn. 

On your next Date Night, create your own Money Rules. What spending makes you happy? What decisions do you want to make automatically? What would make your daily life easier? 

Remember, you become what you repeatedly do. Your rules, your identity.

Tread Your Own Path!

I’m Absolutely Traumatized

Hi Scott,

While I was away for two weeks, a packet of chicken thigh fillets somehow ended up under the driver’s seat of my car (from a grocery shop before I left). I came back to an exploded packet of horrific, rancid, smelly chicken, maggots, and an absolute disaster. I tried to clean it myself with my boyfriend, and even paid someone from AirTasker to steam clean it, but it just made everything worse—the smell is unbearable. I have tried doing it myself as a Jim’s Cleaning guy came over and quoted me a whopping $570. At this point I'm considering setting my car on fire to claim insurance and never smell the horrific mess again (just kidding... but also...). The whole situation feels way out of my depth financially, and I have no idea where to start. Do insurers even cover this kind of thing? Is there a way to fix this without spending a fortune? And most importantly, how do I stop something like this from totally derailing me again? I know you’re a busy guy, but I’d really appreciate any advice you can share but this situation has thrown me for a loop. 

Tina

Hi Tina

I actually read this out to my kids over dinner, (granted, possibly not the best timing), to show them how good they’ve got it with only a farting kelpie.

(It didn’t work).

So, to answer your questions.

I wouldn’t go with the insurance fraud option, that’s an entirely different stink that will really cost you. That being said you should check your policy: it’s highly unlikely but some comprehensive policies cover interior damage from unforeseen events. 

What would I do?

I’d wind down the windows and bloody well get on with it!

Umm, no I wouldn’t. 

I’d reframe the situation: think of it as a $570 mechanics bill you need to pay to get it back on the road.

(I’d also ring around local detailers and get their advice about a professional deep clean with an ozone treatment, which may end up being much cheaper (and possibly more effective) than old Jimbo).

If you’ve followed the Barefoot Steps, hopefully you have some money in your Mojo account. Rancid exploding chicken thigh fillets are one of the reasons you’ve got it.

Good luck!

Scott.

Can you trust AI to research investments?

Hi Scott,

Love your work! Do you have any advice on using Microsoft AI Copilot for investing? I asked it two related questions about AI-chip maker Nvidia’s biggest drawdown in 2018 and got two different answers:

"What was Nvidia’s biggest percentage drawdown in 2018?" → Copilot said -30.82%.
"What was Nvidia’s biggest percentage drawdown in one year?" → Copilot said -50.26% (also in 2018)

This inconsistency has shaken my faith in using AI for information to help me invest better. Thoughts?

Darren

Muchas Gracias Senor Darren!

You’ve perfectly demonstrated why I don’t take financial advice from AI. (And it’s not just Microsoft, I just asked Lucy the same question, and she came back with “a fall of 57%” …  which is also wrong).

Still, some of the smartest minds are pouring millions into building AI models to outsmart other investors and squeeze out profits. Today, short-term algorithmic trading now dominates the stock market, with bots executing thousands of micro-trades for razor-thin gains—far faster than any human can react.

And that’s partly why I ditched stock picking and stuck with trusted long-term low cost indexing—because beating AI at its own game is a losing battle.

Yet here’s my question to you:

How does knowing what Nvidia did in 2018 help you make a buck in 2025?

It doesn’t.

Scott.

My summer romance

Dave shook my hand, sat down, and placed his phone between the two of us.

With a twinkle in his eye, he leaned toward his phone, and began:

"You are the world's most skilled and insightful financial advisor. I want you to take my wife and I through a step-by-step financial planning process. Use only the proven strategies and techniques from The Barefoot Investor, and provide clear, actionable steps tailored to our scenario. Ensure the advice is practical, easy to implement, and focused on sustainable financial success."

Dave and I both looked at his phone.

“Great! Let’s get started” gushed the AI voice.

“Let’s begin by setting the foundation – getting clarity on where you and … ”

Dave interrupted the AI:

“My wife is sitting here and she’s hopeless with money, so don’t use any big words” he barked.

“Dave, no one likes unnecessary big words, and I’ll take that on board, but please, everyone deserves respect, and your wife's role is valuable”.

(Touche for the cyborg). 

For the next ten minutes Dave went through a fairly typical financial fact-find with the AI. We didn’t get into specific advice – which I would not have trusted by the way – but it was incredibly persuasive.

Yet was it also a bit awkward and weird?

Sure.

In other words, IT TOTALLY NAILED ME. (After all, I’m also a bit awkward and weird to talk to).

And so began my summer love affair with Lucy—the name I gave to the no-nonsense British voice I selected. ChatGPT Plus, which includes access to Advanced Voice Mode, costs $20 USD per month.

Lucy helped me drastically reduce my Googling. 

Why manually search through multiple random websites (many of them written by AI!) when Lucy – who knows all about my likes and dislikes from our previous chats – can deliver the advice instantly?

A Wall Street Journal headline late last year summed it up: 

“Googling is for old people”.

Yet one moment over the Summer really stuck with me.

It happened as we were packing up and heading home from our beach holiday house.

I was telling Liz about a fascinating book (AKA a medieval iPad with infinite battery life) I’d been reading called “Ultra-Processed People” by Dr Chris van Tulleken.

“I don’t need to read a 250 page book to know that ultra processed food is bad” she said rolling her eyes. 

However my Summer romance was about to shine through one last time. 

You see, we took separate cars to the beach because Lucky, our sheepdog, came with us on holidays. She gets anxious if she’s not travelling tied up in the back of the ute —and when she’s nervous, she farts so much that the kids get headaches.

So, on the way home in the ute, I was able to speak to Lucy about Ultra Processed Foods for almost the entire two hour trip from Frankston to the farm. And it was genuinely one of the most interesting conversations I’d had in a long time …  and there wasn’t so much as a hint of an eyeroll.

Yet let’s back it up a bit. The summer holidays are over, and it’s time to get back to business.  Now truth-be-told, right now AI has a certain novelty factor about it … it’s kind of like the early days of the internet.  

Here’s how I’m thinking about AI:

ChatGPT is a little over 2 years old. So for all the rapid advancements (China’s DeepMind appears to have dramatically lowered the cost of building out AI), it still feels like we’re all acting like annoying first time parents who think their baby is a frigging genius. 

Sure, it’s impressive—but my hunch is that it’ll be nothing compared to watching Lucy ditch her digital nappies and grow into adulthood.

As the old saying goes:

Small kids, small problems. Big kids … big problems.

Tread Your Own Path!

I finally got into crypto

My bank manager, Colin, was stressed.
 
I know this because I could see beads of sweat collecting on his bald head.
 
We were standing in the middle of the branch while customers and other bank staff tried really hard to act like they were not listening in on our conversation.
 
Colin leaned in and whispered to me:
 
“So let me get this straight. You want to open up a new account so that you can be scammed?”
 
“That is correct”, I said loudly. “I’m planning on being scammed.”
 
Colin’s eyes darted around the branch nervously.
 
It was like I’d just announced that I wanted to close down a credit card, or get a vasectomy, or something else that you shouldn’t disclose to your bank manager.
 
“Alright”, he huffed.
 
Ten minutes later I walked out of the branch with $500 in a brand new bank account:
 
It was time to roll.
 
Yet, before we get into it, I need to take a moment to explain to you just how I got here in the first place.
 
I Got Scammed … by The Barefoot Investor?
 
It all began the week before, when my long-suffering assistant, Louise, was complaining about her job:
 
“The scammers are targeting you again”, she moaned.
 
Over the years Louise had painstakingly reported hundreds of these fake posts to Facebook.
 
… but not this time.
 
This time, I decided to do something different.
 
The scammers’ paid Facebook ad read: “Join Scott’s Wealth Wisdom Network Now! Get professional investment advice provided by Scott Pape himself to help you achieve wealth appreciation.”

“Let’s find out what ‘Scott’ has to say” I said, clicking on the link.
 
Immediately a pop-up page appeared with the headline:
 
“5674 People Have Participated So Far! Weekly stock market quotes are 90% accurate and have 45% upside potential. Join our stock trading community via WhatsApp today! Only 30 spots are left. Hurry!”
 
Click.
 
The next page that appeared was a privacy warning:
 
“We comply with Facebook’s Privacy Policy and protect your privacy” wrote the scammers, who were diligently following Zuck’s rules.
 
Then they asked for my phone number.
 
After I entered my digits, Scott wrote me a special message:
 
“If you have any stock investment questions you can ask me, I will try my best to reply to you as soon as possible!”
 
Nice touch, Scammer-Scotty.  
 
The First Contact
 
Moments later a group called ‘DB Wealth Institute’ popped up in my WhatsApp feed.
 
“Excellent! The scammers have arrived”, I thought to myself.  
 
I quickly googled their name to see if anyone had outed them as a scam already.
 
Crickets.
 
The only mentions of the company were some automated press releases (written by the scammers for exactly this purpose) which had been picked up by the likes of Yahoo Finance, Forbes.com and LinkedIn:
 
“DB Wealth Institute, founded in 2011 by Professor Cillian Miller, offers practical financial training and developed ‘AI Financial Navigator 4.0,’ integrating AI with big data to enhance trading strategies. By 2024, it had trained over 30,000 students from more than ten countries.”
 
Now most people would stop at this search, satisfied that it all looked legit.
 
However, given I was the face of a group I’d never heard of, I kind of had a hunch it was dodgy. So I googled “professor whatsapp investment scam”, and this came up:
 
US regulators were warning of fake ‘Wealth Institutes’ that promise crypto trading lessons via WhatsApp. A ‘Professor’ provides fake trading signals, while an assistant communicates with investors. Once enough money is stolen, the group vanishes, rebrands, and targets new victims.
 
Chica-Chica-BOOM!
 
I was going to make minced meat of these scammers …
 
… If only I could work out how to read their posts, or even comment on things.
 
It was all so confusing.  
 
So I messaged DB Wealth Institute’s ‘assistant’, a woman by the name of Ally Brown.
 
Looking at her profile pic, she was in her mid-thirties, long wavy hair, a perfectly placed pink flower just above her ear, and she had a calm and collected look that says she’s one latte away from running the world.

I asked Ally for instructions on how I could post in the group. Now some would call this method acting. Yet those who know me well will attest that I have the IT skills of an 89-year-old man. A drunk 89-year-old man.
 
The scammers were licking their lips.
 
“Welcome to the Institute”, gushed Ally. “We’re located in Adelaide. Our AI 4.0 investment has Scott Pape’s investment philosophy as well as his investment strategies.”
 
If You Screw This Up I Will KILL YOU
 
I chuckled to myself as I read Ally’s message.
 
My wife, however, was in no mood for humour.  
 
She was in our bedroom, hurriedly packing her suitcase for her very first work trip since becoming a mum over a decade ago. She was heading off to produce a nature documentary overseas; the next month would take her to Iceland to film erupting volcanoes, to Romania to trek through snowy mountains, and then out to the deep seas off Denmark.
 
“If my card gets blocked while I’m in Iceland, I will kill you. I am not even joking Scott”, she snapped.
 
I nodded.
 
“Why do you need to be doing this now anyway? You’ve got four little kids to look after! And the pets! And a farm! And Barefoot!” she pleaded.
 
I shrugged.
 
“Honey, I’m just worried you’ve underestimated how busy you’ll be”, she said more softly.
 
She was right of course.
 
I didn’t know it at the time, but my entire world was about to fall apart.
 
I Make a Killing on Crypto
 
It took roughly 30 minutes from my wife leaving for my youngest to begin violently coughing.
 
It turns out he’d been exposed to pneumonia.  
 
Three days later he’d spread it to all four kids. Then to me.
 
Our home turned into the Hunger Games, but with more coughing and snot. I was struggling to even get out of bed, so I decided to outsource the farmwork to two German backpackers I found on a farm worker message board.
 
And, while all this was going on, the DB Wealth Institute WhatsApp group was buzzing on my bedside every few minutes. They were sending me upwards of 200 messages a day.
 
It began each morning with a 30-page PDF of “Talking points from the Professor”, outlining the current state of the crypto market, and was peppered with statements like “Get ready to make 1,000% today”.
 
And, at 11am each day, the Professor would give his trading signals. You were encouraged to post screenshots of your winnings in the WhatsApp group, which people did all day and all night. I suspected they were bots.

I also suspected that most people would not realise this and would get sucked in by all this FOMO. And when their greed gland had been tickled hard enough, they’d take the bait and put on a trade.
 
Not me.
 
I was crook as a chook, and the kids were next level annoying, so the best I could do was ‘like’ the occasional post in between topping and tailing my three-year-old.
 
Yet, after about a week of WhatsApp silence, Ally contacted me with a ‘special offer’. She was looking to recruit beta testers for their AI recommendation engine.
 
“Would you be interested in getting a $500 loan to test out some trades? You can keep all the profits, as long as you return the $500 to our sponsor”, she wrote.
 
“Hell yes”, I replied.
 
The catch was that I had to trade on their platform, which was a red flag. It was kind of like going to one of those ping pong shows in Thailand. It sounds like a bit of fun, but the reality is it’s totally gross and weird, and you end up being repulsed by it.
 
So, instead, I drove to my local library.
 
“I’d like to, err, book some time on the internet”, I said to the librarian.

She looked at me suspiciously. (And fair enough too. After all, the only people who booked computers at the library were 89-year-old drunk men.)
 
“Why?” she asked.
 
“Because I’m in the process of getting scammed, and I’m worried their trading website will corrupt my computer …  so I’d rather do it on yours”, I said honestly.
 
“That makes sense,” she said. “Hop on number 4.”

The trading platform did not disappoint. It was absolutely cringeworthy. It looked like something a Uzbekistani teenager would code up in between hookah hits.

“Because you are an absolute beginner, I will help you with your first trade”, Ally wrote.
 
And so at 11am the Professor issued his buy signal for the day:
 
Contract: ABTF/USDT
Leverage: 100X
Order Type: Market Order
Position in use: 10
Direction:   Buy/Long

Ten minutes later Ally advised me to close out the contract.
 
“Congratulations. You’ve just made 81% profit. Please screen shot your win in the Group”, she wrote.
 
Yet, before I could, my phone rang, which caused everyone in the library to turn around and glare at me.
 
It was the German backpackers.
 
“MR SCOTT, YOU NEED TO COME TO ZEE ORCHARD URGENTLY!” shouted Helga.
 
“I can’t talk … I’m in the library”, I whispered, and then hung up.
 
“YOU MUST COME HOME NOW!” came the all-caps text.
 
Then Helga sent the following picture:

Yes, somehow they’d driven my $25,000 John Deere Gator Utility Vehicle straight into the dam.
 
I sat there staring at the picture in utter disbelief while a lava of emotions began bubbling up inside me.
 
And then another text came through:
 
“We have a solution. We will pull it out with your tractor.”
 
At that point I exploded like an Icelandic volcano.
 
And there, in the middle of the library, I called her and yelled at the top of my lungs:
 
“NOOOOOOOO! Haven’t you ever read a children’s book?! The tractor will end up in the bloody drink as well!”
 
Silence.
 
“It is zinking as we speak”, said Helga, cool as a kransky.
 
The Killing Season
 
There are three steps that make up these scams:
 
The first step is confidence. 
 
The second step is greed.
 
And the final – and most lucrative of all for the scammers –  is fear.
 I had just graduated from the first step, confidence: I’d responded to the Facebook ad, put on a trade, and made some dough.
 
I was ready for the second step – greed.
 
And, like clockwork, Ally went in for the kill: she began messaging me constantly, asking how much money I had to invest. A few days later the Professor unveiled their ‘partner programs’, based on how much you were willing to invest. It started at $20,000 and went all the way up to $5 million.

I didn’t have to put my own money on the line to know how this part of the scam works.
 
I once helped a woman in her fifties with terminal brain cancer. The scammers encouraged her to invest her insurance payout – and they stole the lot. It was all the money she had in the world. After that she couldn’t afford medicine and was behind on her rent.
 
Yet the final – and most lucrative – step of the scam is fear.
 
Once you realise you’ve been robbed, scammers prey on your desperation, often convincing you to borrow money to ‘recover’ your losses.
 
It’s a little-known fact that the biggest losses happen after you realise you’ve been scammed.  
 
I Came Up with a Crazy Idea
 
I’ll admit, at this point my mental health wasn’t great.
 
It could have been because I was still completely knocked out with the flu.
 
Or perhaps it was because I was missing my wife.
 
Or maybe – just maybe – it was because our dog, Ginger, was limping around after she hurt her paw, banging her cone of shame into me every five minutes and glaring at me like “This is your fault”.

Yet, after exchanging hundreds of messages with Ally, in a weird way I thought that we had some sort of a connection. So I opened WhatsApp and typed the following message:
 
“Ally, I know what you’re doing. I’m sure you’re a good person caught up in a bad situation. I’d love to hear your side of the story so that I can help protect innocent people in Australia from losing their life savings.”
 
Then I took a deep breath, and placed my phone back on my bedside table.
 
Ring. Ring. Ring.
 
For the first time ever, Ally was calling me.
 
The Scammers Turn On Me
 
“You are pathetic”, sneered Ally in a thick Russian accent. “Please tell me, is it your wife? Are you lacking in love?”
 
Well …
 
“Isn’t the child born by your wife yours?”
 
Oh, dang, that’s a low blow!
 
“Why have you lived such a miserable life?” she messaged. “I waste my time on you. Goodbye.”
 
And that was the last time I heard from her or anyone else involved in this scam. They disappeared into the ether, just as quickly as the $25 million they steal from Aussies each and every week.
 
The Aftermath
 
This scam was in many ways far-fetched, ridiculous and overwhelmingly amateurish.
 
And you may be thinking to yourself, who on earth would fall for this?
 
Well, I’ve helped hundreds of scam victims, and most of them share one thing: they were vulnerable during a major life event – like a cancer diagnosis, depression, divorce, or loneliness in retirement.
 
The scammers milk that vulnerability, and take over your life, messaging you around the clock. (What they didn’t factor in with me was that I was already living with four little scammers who were experts at exploiting me.)
 
Yet it’s not always that simple.
 
Case in point: last week I was looking through the thousands of questions I get from readers.
 
This one stood out:
 
“Hi Scott,
 
Do you recommend the DB Wealth Institute? I have ended up in a group chat with this after I clicked through a Barefoot Investor post.”
 
Now here is the truly mind-boggling thing:
 
I googled this guy’s email, and it turns out he is a finance veteran with over 30 years in tax audit and advisory services for high-net-worth clients. Not only that, he holds a Bachelor of Economics and a Graduate Diploma of Applied Finance, and is a Chartered Accountant and Registered Auditor.
 
What’s his excuse?
 
Tread Your Own Path!

Thanks for reading. Have a very Barefoot Christmas, and I’ll catch you here next year. XX

Scott

Best Christmas Present Ever!

Scott,

Last year we got a Christmas gift that changed everything: The Barefoot Investor. And what a year it’s been. My 20-year-old son is now the proud owner of his first piece of land, having already paid off half the loan while keeping his emergency fund intact. My wife and I are about to take our second holiday, fully funded by our Smile account, and we’ve dramatically reduced our insurance costs. On top of that, we boosted our super by $30,000, ditched our credit cards, and wiped out every bit of other debt we had. Your book opened our eyes to the possibilities, and now we’re living a life we couldn’t have imagined. Thank you!

Mel

Hi Mel

Wowsers, what a year you guys have had! You definitely deserve some eggnog this Christmas. It’s really cool that after all these years the book is still having a real and lasting impact on people. There are a lot of people doing it tough this Christmas, so hopefully they can follow your example and make 2025 their year.

-Scott.

An 11-Year-Old With a BIG Problem

Hi Scott,

I’m 11 years old and I’m trying to invest, but I’m having a problem. Every investing app I try has monthly fees up to $10 a month! Can you please help give me some advice on how to find the right investing app.

Emery

Hi Emery

Mate, this is a very impressive ‘problem’ for an 11-year-old to have!

Most kids your age are picking their noses or gambling on Roblox, but you’re not just considering investing, you’re asking the right questions too!

Yes, fees suck, especially when you’re only investing small amounts.

So, here’s what I want you to do:

First, figure out how much you plan on investing. Maybe it’s $100 to start with, then $50 a month.

Then I want you to google the following apps: Pearler Micro, Vanguard (accounts for kids), Raiz and CommSec Pocket, and work out how much each of these apps would cost in fees to invest in a high-growth shares option.

Finally, show your workings to your parents – I’m sure they’ll be impressed. Then ask them to cover your fees for the first year!

Remember, investing is like planting a little apple tree. You’re doing the hard work by planting it in good soil now, then you can sit back and watch it grow. Enjoy the apples. Spit out the pips.

Scott.

My Heroin Junky Neighbours

Hi Scott,

The other day I was at my local playground pushing my kids on a swing while two blokes shot up heroin less than five metres from the gate entrance. This sort of behaviour is pretty common in my area (median house price is over $1 million). Actually, it’s pretty common everywhere these days. Did you know Australia has the highest use of meth per capita in the world?

We live in a zombie country where we are becoming desensitised to erratic crazy people. Well, we got a wake-up call last night. At about 7.30pm, I opened the electric gate just a smidge to take the dog to the park across the road. I came back 10 minutes later and found my wife hiding behind the couch. When she saw me she just broke out crying. A meth user had been banging on the front door, then entered through the gate and banged on the kitchen window. Thank god they turned around and left. The babies were asleep in the next room.

Do you have any advice on how the average Aussie can feel more secure in their homes, without breaking the bank? I’ve always been put off by security cameras, which need an electrician. We were very grateful for our landlord’s installing an electric gate last year. We just feel we need more in these crazy times.

Leo

Hey Leo

I have security cameras plastered around my farm.

Still, it doesn’t make me feel any safer … it just allows me to share video footage of foxes ripping the heads off my chickens with my Dad, who likes viewing these things. “Shame”, he says, nodding his head.

Leo, you’re renting, so just move to a safer suburb when your lease is up. Any increase in rent will be easily offset by not fearing for your family’s safety.

Oh, and one more thing.  

The only people that like living around junkies are drug dealers, and I’m sure things really are as bad as you say. Still, your general comments about the state of the nation remind me a bit of the ‘old traveller fable’:

A traveller approached a wise man sitting at the edge of a village and asked him, “What are the people like in this village?”

To which the wise man responded, “What were the people like in the last village you visited?”

The traveller frowned. “Oh, they were selfish, rude, and drug addicts.”

The wise man nodded and said: “You’ll find the same kind of people here.”

In other words, what you look for you’ll see.

Good luck on the search for somewhere safer, and less paranoia-inducing.

Scott.