My Mother has a Lover

Hi Scott
 
My mother has been sending large amounts of money to a holiday fling for the last 14 years. She has almost lost her home, she’s drawn on her super, and I fear she will be in dire straits soon if this continues. It happened like this: in 2010 she met a young Casanova in Egypt, and a holiday fling quickly became a business partnership. My mother has zero business experience. She’s borrowed against her home to fund some outlandish ideas. She has been back a number of times and has seen where her money has gone – apparently! I’m not sure whether it was the car manufacturing plant or the haute couture fashion house. I wish I was kidding – these are examples of their ‘ventures’. Despite 14 years, hundreds of thousands of dollars and zero return, she’s even more optimistic now. In reality she is a teacher struggling to find a permanent position because she is past retirement age, is burdened with debts she can no longer afford, and has enough super to keep her until Christmas this year. And she will not listen to my concerns! I was hoping this was something I could report to the relevant authorities so they can intervene before she loses everything.
 
Linda
 
Hi Linda
 
That sounds like one hell of an expensive shag!
 
Still, you can’t call the cops. From the sounds of it, he’s not doing anything illegal (immoral perhaps, but not illegal). And you’ve tried talking sense to her, but clearly after 14 years that hasn’t worked.
 
So what can you do?
 
Well, you need to protect yourself emotionally and financially.
 
I’d suggest writing a letter to your mum explaining how much you love her and how concerned you are for her financially. Then detail the likely consequences of her actions. Paint her a picture of what her retirement will look like. How will she service her debts when she’s too old to work?
 
Understand her debts will die with her: you won’t inherit them … but that also means you won’t inherit any dough from her either. So double down on your Barefoot plan!

Scott