Teacher Gets Schooled

Hi Scott,
 
I love teaching. I love the sparkle in a student’s eye when they ‘get it’. I love being a stable and consistent cheerleader in their lives. Yet things have changed in the past five years – the challenges that come with students who didn’t receive the support they needed during lockdown, and the challenges of the ‘screen kids’ – a generation with too much time on TikTok and not enough time socialising, imagining, reading or being outside. The role of teachers has never been more important, never harder and never less respected.
 
I am at the top of the classroom teacher pay scale ($120,000) after 10 years (I’m 37), with no possibility of progression unless I want to take on a Head Teacher, Deputy or Principal role – and I don’t. We can’t ask for a payrise annually like your book suggests. We have a teacher shortage and an impending education crisis, with three out of four teachers having considered a career change in the past five years. So my question is: how does a highly qualified and experienced teacher transition into another career without taking a huge pay cut?
 
Jim
 
Hi Jim,
 
So what you’re telling me is that the grass is much greener on the other side of the oval.
 
How much green are you chasing, Jim?
 
Let’s say you could earn an extra $60,000 a year. That’d give you an extra $3,000 a month after tax, which, if you invested it, would make a huge difference at your age.
 
However, it would also mean giving up your calling in life, something that clearly gives you a deep sense of meaning and purpose. You need to put a value on that – and I think it’s worth a lot more than $3,000 a month.
 
If I were in your shoes I’d look at your costs, and perhaps entertain the idea of moving to a regional area where you can live cheaper. I’d also think about how you could boost your income from tutoring. Remember, the grass isn’t always greener. Sometimes it’s just astroturf.

Scott.

Barefoot … You’re a Vulgar, Right-Wing, Nutjob

Hi Scott
 
You are a piece of work. The problems in the private health insurance industry have been ongoing for years, and Labor has been in power since the middle of 2022. That didn’t bother you! Instead you chose a cheap political hit-job on a very hardworking minister (Mark Butler). For all your spin, the facts are the facts: the more people we have in private health insurance, the less strain on the public system. In the future, keep your vulgar right-wing comments to yourself.
 
Linda
 
Hi Linda,
 
Given we’re talking about healthcare, I suggest you check your blood pressure (it might be a smidge high). A few weeks ago I was accused of being a Greens Party shill – this week you’re saying I’m to the right of John Howard. So I must be doing something right.
 
Now the hardworking minister got caught in my squirrel grip because he’s the guy in charge who can make changes. Fact is, the Government whacks people with a stick to buy private health insurance, but does nothing to rein in the deliberately confusing way it’s sold to us.
 
That’s not just my opinion: this week I was inundated with readers’ responses (many from workers in the industry!) telling me how unaffordable it is, how confusing it is, the gaps and the gotchas, and generally how terrible the industry is.
 
And to your point, a research paper by Melbourne University set out to answer whether private health insurance cuts public hospital waiting lists. They found it barely made a dent. Right, left or Green, the message is clear: the industry needs a bloody shake-up.

Scott.

My (brief) time in jail

The prisoner walked into the jail meeting room, sat down in front of me, and stared into my soul.
 
“Hello”, I said nervously.
 
Silence.
 
At the back of the meeting room there was a big clock on the wall that ticked loudly every second … perhaps a passive aggressive reminder that the prisoners were ‘doing time’.
 
A full 60 ticks later she opened her mouth.
 
“When I came in here …”, she whispered, softly enough that I had to lean forward (even though I knew I should not have been leaning forward), “I brought only the clothes on my back … and your book.”
 
“Okay”, I said, even more nervously.
 
“Okay”, she repeated without blinking.
 
I was in a women’s prison completing the mandatory workplace experience component of my Diploma of Financial Counseling … and what an experience it was!

Now, there are still people who see TAFE Vocational Educational Training (VET), compared to a university degree, as the educational equivalent of Aldi. But I strongly disagree … and I have both qualifications.
 
It’s said that uni is for learning and VET is for earning: VET/TAFE qualifications are more practical, shorter, and are generally much cheaper.
 
And I think it’s a very rational choice for a lot of teenagers who have no idea what they’re going to be when they grow up.
 
After all, not only does the research say that the average person will have five careers over their lifetime,  the World Economic Forum says that two-fifths of workers will be disrupted by technological change (read: AI) within the next three years.
 
And that’s why I was surprised this week that the Government released the Australian Universities Accord Report, which set out an ambitious goal of doubling the number of university placements over the next 25 years.
 
Does it really make sense to spend $40,000 on a degree you may never use?
 
(Today many people are finding their HECS-HELP debts are rising faster than they can pay them off. Last year the debt was increased by 7.1%; this year it will jump by another 5%.)
 
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want my doctor to have a ‘Diploma in Appendix Removal’ from Broadmeadows TAFE. There is absolutely a need for quality tertiary education.
 
However, it’s also true that many universities have become highly profitable diploma mills: rapidly ratcheting up their fees, jamming in full-fee-paying Chinese students, and all too often delivering a Zoom-like learning experience. Which may explain why the number of students studying for a degree has fallen by more than 13% since 2016.
 
TAFE courses, meanwhile, are widely available and increasingly well funded. In fact, the prisoner I was speaking to was getting her life back on track from behind bars by doing … a VET course.
 
Tread Your Own Path!

Wine-O Needs Help

Hi Scott,
 
I have a dream. I want to start my own vineyard. I love wine! We live on 20 acres in Gippsland (Victoria) and I want to add 4 hectares of vines. I always thought it was a pipe dream but last year I got an inheritance of $250,000 from my grandmother. I want to use that money to create something. I want to bottle my own wine, it’s very profitable. My wife is not so sure, and wants to pay it off the mortgage. Is this a good idea?

Craig
 
Hi Craig,
 
I know nothing about wine, so I asked the best winemaker I know, Ben Ranken.
 
Ben won the ‘Young Gun of Wine’ award from his industry peers, so he knows what he’s talking about.
 
Over to Ben:
 
“I see a lot of doctors and lawyers and wealthy people who fall in love with the idea of owning a vineyard, but they never think about who they’re going to sell their wine to.
 
“So my advice to Craig is to work backwards: have a wine with a local winery and ask them about their experience, how much they’re selling their wine for, and to who, and how much money they’re making.
 
Because it can be a tough slog. A vineyard costs between $30,000 and $50,000 a hectare (irrigation, posts, vines) to set up, and then you’ve got three years before you have a crop.
 
So you’re basically working for free, and you’ve got all the risk. As you know all too well, Scott, there are bushfires, floods, kangaroos, rabbits, hailstorms …”
 
Thanks Ben, I’d go with paying down the mortgage Craig (and buying a case of your favourite plonk).
 
Speaking of which, I famously don’t drink anymore, but back when I did it was Ben’s wine that was my rolled-gold favourite. In fact I used to give away his plonk to hoity-toity wine snobs, and they’d often tell me it ‘tasted like $200 wine’ (check out Ben’s wines out at www.wilimeewines.com.au). I don’t get paid anything to say that … other than to see my readers get to drink amazing good wine.
 
Tell him Barefoot sent you!

Scott.

The man with no balls

Federal Health Minister Mark Butler wants you to know that he has balls of steel.
 
You see, each year private health insurers must go cap in hand to him to increase their prices. And this year they wanted to deliver their biggest premium hike in six years – but he rejected it.
 
Bam!
 
Instead he’ll soon announce that he’s allowing a much smaller increase in your annual private health insurance premium.
 
Pow!
 
The truth?
 
The truth is the Minister doesn’t have the balls to tell you it’s a total farce.
 
But I do. So let me tell you how the game is really played … and how you are getting robbed:
 
While it’s technically true that private health insurers can only increase their prices once a year, and that old Steely Balls has to sign off on it, it’s also true that health insurers can close down existing policies and simultaneously release new, much more expensive policies at any time.
 
Let me give you a very personal example:
 
My family has gold-level, hospital-only cover with insurer Health Partners. (I don’t pay for extras or combined cover, because it’s generally a rip-off for most people.)
 
Ten years ago, this was one of the best-value products on the market. Actually it was too good – Health Partners have now closed this product to new customers.
 
And here’s the rub: today, if a new customer wants the same cover as me it would cost them $2,360 more than I’m currently paying per year.
 
And it’s not just Health Partners that are engaging in this shifty practice. CHOICE recently found that insurers have increased their gold hospital cover by about 31.5% in the past three years, much more than the Government-mandated increases.
 
Look, private health insurance is intentionally confusing.
 
There are 26,000 different policies, and so many exclusions and out-of-pocket gotchas that it makes it almost impossible to work out how to get a good deal … which is exactly how the health funds like it.
 
This explains how they were able to lift their profits by more than 110% in the last financial year (to $2.2 billion) while their customers lived through a cost of living crisis!
 
So what can you do?
 
Well, think about whether you actually need private health insurance, for one.
 
That being said, the Government has a gun to our head and effectively forces 11 million of us to take it out, or smashes us with an extra tax. (And if we wait too long to sign up, we’re slugged with a further penalty based on our age.)
 
So your only option to save a buck is to consider downgrading your cover. CHOICE did the numbers and found that you could save up to $1,870 by switching your hospital insurance to a cheaper gold, silver or bronze policy – which admittedly limits or totally excludes coverage for childbirth (snip, snip!), knee or hip replacements (no limbo dancing!) or mental illness (stay happy!), among other things.
 
And when you’re comparing, avoid the churn-and-burn bucket shops like Comparethemarket and iSelect, which only show you policies they get a kickback from. Instead, head to the Government’s search engine Privatehealth.gov.au, which lets you compare every policy on the market.
 
If Mark Butler really had balls of steel, he’d stop playing political theatre with the health funds and do some serious surgery on the entire industry, because it’s an absolute disgrace.
 
Tread Your Own Path!

You’re a Dick, Barefoot

Scott,
 
I'm a hairdresser, and I didn’t appreciate you starting your column last week with the idea that your wife was embarrassed about you being mistaken for a hairdresser. It just made you sound like a dick. Don't alienate the people you are trying to help. Do better.
 
Michael
 
Hi Michael,
 
I actually got a LOT of emails this week from angry hairdressers saying the same thing. For the record my wife is embarrassed by me – not the idea of hairdressing. Mainly though, she gets annoyed that I wear free T-shirts instead of the nice ones she buys me. Apologies to all the hardworking hairdressers.

Scott.

The Greens Party Listens

Hi Scott,
 
You seem to be singing from the Greens playbook. This week they are shrewdly threatening to not pass the government’s Help to Buy scheme unless they agree to stop negative gearing and freeze rents. Plus, their stunt on calling out the number of pollies that own investment properties (most of them) was also very Barefoot. So, are you a member of the Greens party?
 
Sarah
 
Hi Sarah
 
I’m a V8-ute driving, gun-owning, farmer, who has proudly never eaten tofu. So no, I’m not a member of the Greens party (or any other political party for that matter). However, that allows me to sit on the (barbed wire) fence when it comes to politics. So, I think the Greens should be congratulated for not supporting the Help to Buy scheme because it’s a dud policy that will incentivise broke people to buy homes they can’t afford.
 
However, their policy proposal of freezing rents is Barnaby Joyce-like embarrassing.
Think of it from the landlord’s perspective: if the government limits what rent they can charge, what incentive do they have to spend more money maintaining the property? And what’s stopping them from bypassing these laws and getting a higher rent from Airbnb?
 
Look, there are no easy answers to our housing crisis – and it’s something that’s happening the world over. Yet if I was a politician for a day, I’d wave my magic wand and scrap all the first homeowners grants and policies like Help to Buy that simply serve to push prices higher, and instead spend the billions on rebuilding public housing so vulnerable kids (and their parents) have a secure roof over their heads.

Help! My Hubby Won’t Retire

Hey Scott,
 
My husband of 43 years has his own small business and it’s his identity, but I would like him to retire. Thanks to modest living, saving, superannuation and an inheritance, we have $2 million under our belt. We own our own home and have zero debt. He’s never taken long service leave, only three or four weeks off every year, so I reckon it’s our turn to spend some time together and enjoy life more. But he won’t (can’t) bring himself to stop working. Please tell him he’s a nong.
 
Lonely wife.
 
Hello Lonely Wife!
 
Your husband sounds like a typical nong-y small business owner.  
 
And we all have the same disease: it’s our baby that never really grows up, and will always need us.
 
So let me offer a suggestion:
 
Your husband needs to find someone young, and full of energy to shack up with*.
 
*In a business sense.
 
Selling a small business lock stock and barrel can actually be quite difficult, especially if the business owner is central to that business. And another big problem is that banks generally don’t lend people dough to buy a small business, unless it’s against an asset like a house, which limits the pool of buyers.
 
That’s why one idea I suggest to the business owners is to sell the business to one of their workers, or to find someone who is willing to take over the business, and structure it as a multi-year earn out, where the worker earns a small wage, while paying off the agreed price for the business over say three to five years.
 
Why would they do that?
 
Because it works for everyone.
 
The young worker learns how to run the business while the owner is there.
 
The owner gets to start to wind down … and not annoy his wife (you).
 
And he also not only gets to mentor someone, he knows that his baby is hopefully in very good hands.

The 23 year old window washer … making $165k a year

Today I want to talk to you about what I genuinely believe is the opportunity of a lifetime.
 
No, it’s not becoming an AI expert.
 
The cyborgs are getting exponentially smarter and will soon view us as golden retrievers (and leave us to sniff each other’s butts while they do the heavy analytical and computational work. Good boy!).
 
Nor is it earning your living as a YouTuber, or, god forbid, as an influencer. No matter how much you hustle, for most people being an influencer is a low-paid sales grind flogging teeth-whitening paste and vibrators.
 
Instead, the opportunity of a lifetime that I’m talking about is a lot more practical … and profitable.
 
Like what?
 
Like window washing.
 
Seriously, here’s a question I got this week:
 
Mr Pape,
 
I am 23 years old. Three years ago I started a very unsexy business: cleaning windows. Last year I netted $160k working, on average, 35–40 hours a week. I went into business as I didn’t want to be a slave, and I like the freedom that comes with money. I currently have $300k invested in the stock market and $90k in cash. My question is, what else should I do with it?
 
Sam
 
Sam is my new hero.
 
He’s not repaying HECS. He’s earning great coin. And he’s not only working far less than most of us, you can bet when he knocks off he might stare out a window, but he certainly ain’t thinking about them. That’s because Sam has what he calls an ‘unsexy business’.
 
Speaking of unsexy stuff, let’s talk about Baby Boomers – and the opportunity of a lifetime:
 
There are 2.6 million small businesses in Australia.
 
And almost half of the owners of these businesses are run by people over the age of 50. (In contrast, only 8% of small business owners are aged under 30 …   down more than 50% since the 1970s).
 
In other words, they’re all getting older, and they’ll increasingly be looking to retire.
 
Who is going to buy them?
 
Young(er) people of course.

And here’s the kicker: many of these businesses are being sold for a song, or even closed when the owner retires. And these are the types of businesses that you want to buy. After all, they’re established, having made it through the ‘kill zone’ of the first five years. They have regular clients, reliable streams of revenue, and trained staff and systems in place.
 
So what’s not to like?
 
Well, how about not having enough money to take advantage of this ‘opportunity of a lifetime’?
 
Fair point.
 
Which brings me to my first question …
 
Tread Your Own Path!

You Have 60 Seconds to Do This NOW

Hi Scott,
 
My good friend wants to invest $100,000 into a crypto-style investment strategy called GsPro. They say in 18 months you will 10 x your investment. What advice do you have for her as she feels she needs to take a risk to make some money. She is feeling behind where she should be and doesn’t trust the regular banks and mainstream investment options. Would she be better off with ETFs as they’re a relatively simple, set-and-forget strategy?

Heidi
 
Hola Heidi,
 
I have no advice for her, only for you.
 
Are you ready?
 
I want you to grab your car keys and get in your car. While you’re driving, ring your friend and tell her you have something life-changingly important that you need to speak to her about, immediately, in person.
 
When you get to her house, give her a hug. As you’re doing this, reach around and take off her belt. As in slip it out of her pants. Use her belt to strap her to her dining chair. Then take out your phone and turn the flashlight on and shine it in her eyes, while repeatedly yelling at her:
 
“DO YOU WANT TO LOSE $100,000? THIS IS A SCAM. THE BAREFOOT INVESTOR TOLD ME SO!”
 
You are only allowed to unshackle her when she promises you that she won’t give her hard-earned money to strangers on the interwebs.
 
Hurry up, Heidi. Your time starts now. Your friend needs you.
 
Give it a belt.

In 81 Days I’m Walking Away from Millions

Dear Scott,
 
I’ve been married for 35 years, and I am scared. I’m only 81 days away from accessing my super balance, which is $30,000. I need to take that money and escape from my husband. I would be leaving a property worth $1.7 million. Nothing is in my name, only the debt of $170,000 that’s left of the mortgage. I know I’m losing everything I’ve worked for, but I’m scared of him, and scared that he can take what I have left. I feel I need to take the money and go overseas so he can’t find me.
 
Denise
 
Hi Denise

I am so sorry.
 
You’re right – now is the time for action – you need to escape.
 
But how?
 
Well, let me tell you a little secret. I’ve helped hundreds of women plan their escape, and their partners all had one thing in common:
 
They were bullies.
 
And, like all bullies, they work hard to convince their partners that they have all the power, sometimes with violence. Mostly with insults and put-downs that systematically erode their self-esteem. And almost always by controlling all the money, which keeps them trapped.
 
Denise, his days of bullying you will soon be over.
 
That’s because over the next 81 days I want you to do the following:
 
First, call your bank’s hardship department.
 
Tell them what’s going on. They will open a bank account in just your name that he can’t access. The best banks will even fund it with some ‘getaway money’. Seriously.
 
Second, lock everything down.
 
Change all your passwords and PINs, and lock down your phone’s privacy and location-tracking settings. While you’re at it, scout around and find as much financial information as you can: you’re looking for copies of your marriage and birth certificates, and any information on shares, property or superannuation.

Third, go see a family lawyer.
 
The first meeting will be free, and they’ll explain that you’re entitled to a share of the assets. He may have bullied you into believing that he can take your super, but the truth is that it’s he who needs to be worried financially!
 
Finally, when it comes time to make your escape, spend money on getting safe accommodation that he can’t access, and getting counselling. Reach out to the 1800RESPECT line on 1800 737 732 – there are people who can help you.
 
Good luck.

My secret side hustle as a hairdresser

“You’re not wearing that, are you?” sighed my wife, Liz.
 
We were heading out to a party and I was wearing my standard uniform: boots, jeans, and the next clean T-shirt that was in my cupboard that morning ...
 
… which just so happened to be a free promotional T-shirt from my hairdresser, with a big ‘Lucky’s Barber Shop Woodend’ logo (and shop address) on the front and back.
 
“Please don’t wear that shirt … it confuses people … they think you’re a hairdresser”, Liz pleaded.
 
It’s true – more than a few times when wearing this shirt, random people have struck up a conversation with me about hairdressing. Most of the time I correct them, but every now and again I just roll with it.
 
I’ll theatrically cock my head to the side, study their face intensely, and say something like:
 
“I love what you’ve done with your fringe, it totally frames your face!”
 
Liz stood in the hallway shaking her head, resigned to the fact that the man she married is not only a bogan – but a cheap bogan.
 
At the party, a sharply dressed fashionable DIK (Dad I Know) told me he got his shirt on “Shein, for like ten bucks”. Everyone in the circle nodded knowingly, but I just stared at him blankly.
 
“Is that a shop?”
 
Yes it is, I discovered.
 
Though it turns out Shein is more like the meth-addicted brother of retail giant Zara.
 
You see, Zara changed clothes retailing in the 90s forever when it created ‘fast fashion’:
 
They take photos at fashion runway shows in Paris, send them to their factories in Spain, and have cheap knock-offs made, shipped and on their shelves within 15 days.
 
These clothes may be cheap but they’re profitable as hell – the Ortega family, which started the business, is now stupidly rich – as in $120 billion rich.
 
Now comes Chinese brand Shein, which has put fast fashion into hyperspeed:
 
Zara reportedly adds around 2,000 new styles every month.
 
Shein adds 6,000 new styles every day.
 
As a result, Shein is now certifiably huge – the world’s largest clothes retailer – bigger than H&M, Nike, Adidas and even Amazon. Its pop-up shops in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane have caused fans to go into a meltdown as they claw each other for $3 T-shirts, $5 skirts and $10 jeans.
 
Yet if $10 jeans are too expensive … how about $7 jeans?
 
Well,, this is where things get really weird.
 
You can find them on another Chinese mega-shopping app called Temu – which is the hottest thing in shopping right now. Along with clothes, Temu sells all the junk you’d find at a flea market.  
 
If Shein is a meth-addicted version of Zara, Temu is the magic-mushroom-munching half-sister of the lot of them. Its catchcry is “shop like a billionaire”.
 
Yeah, nah.
 
I can’t really picture James Packer buying a men’s two-piece suit ($46.70 – Valentine’s Day special!), or a pooping dog butt toothpaste dispenser ($2.36), or 12 pairs of comfy ankle socks ($2.96).
 
Though I could see him investing in it.
 
After all, Temu has (astonishingly) quickly become one of the most popular apps in Australia. It’s reported that it had over nine million registered Australian users just two months after it launched, largely driven by millennials attracted to an app that gamifies shopping. 
 
But hold your hashtags!
 
Fact is, if you can get a pair of jeans delivered to your door for $7, someone is getting trousered.
 
Like the environment. Like the poor bastards in sweatshops. And like the Australian retailers – Kmart, Big W and your local haberdashery – whose business models are being turned upside down.
 
Still, thankfully there will always be a need for a hairdresser. Then again, you can buy a four-piece salon professional barber hairdressing kit on Temu for just … $2.46.
 
Snip, snip!
 
Tread Your Own Path!

Deep Fake

My father still washes the dishes by hand each night because he doesn’t ‘trust’ the dishwasher.
 
(And my parents have had a dishwasher for 30 years. How’s that for staying power?)
 
The other night, while he was doing the dishes, I showed him a Facebook video of me enthusiastically promoting a scam trading program, calling it an “exceptional financial collaboration”.

As he watched I could see his old soap suds circling the drain:
 
It sure looked like his son. It sure sounded like his son. What the heck was going on?
 
I explained to him that it was a deep fake video … possibly the first one he’d ever seen.
 
“Was it the bloody Russians?” he asked innocently.
 
“No idea,” I replied.
 
All we knew was that someone had taken footage of me from an old interview on Sky News and manipulated it into something very weird.
 
See, for all the hype of artificial intelligence, so far the big winners have been the scammers, who have weaponised deep fake videos and voice cloning to systematically con tens of billions of dollars a year from victims across the globe.
 
There are now 46 million cyber attacks launched each day, and many of them are targeted at financial institutions, according to a report in the Financial Times.
 
That explains why the world’s biggest bank, JP Morgan, spends $23 billion a year on technology, and employs more engineers than Google or Amazon, largely to stop cyber crooks.
 
And all this has left me wondering whether the dinky little credit union I bank with (which still has biros chained to the desk) will have the budget to fight the hackers and keep me safe.
 
(Annoyingly, after a career of bashing the Big 4 banks, it’s dawning on me that perhaps they’ll be some of the only institutions who will be able to afford to build an AI army.)
 
And what about my deep fake problem?
 
Well, when I reported it to Facebook, they called and said they were immediately dispatching a crack team of ninjas to the Kremlin to duke it out with the Ruskies.
 
Yeah, nah.
 
They didn’t even bother responding.  
 
Yet even if they did bother to shut down the page, my guess is another 20 videos would automatically pop up. It’s like trying to get rid of thistles in my paddocks with vinegar and hot water. Yes, it’s environmentally friendly, Liz, but all the farmers around town are laughing at me!
 
Besides, Zuckerberg is up to his zucks right now taking deep fake videos to a very freaky new level. In an interview with tech podcaster Lex Fridman last year, Zuckerberg said his company was working on AI technology that will help you create a virtual avatar – or human-like clone of yourself – which people will be able to ‘have conversations’ with.
 
True dinks.
 
Zuckerberg is creating his own (Facebook) Frankenstein … and that story turned out okay, right?
 
Tread Your Own Path!

Generally I don’t speak about politics in this column, but last week my editor requested (read: demanded) that I write about the changes to tax cuts. Now I know why. Holy Hector, what a response! So, here we go again …

2024 Will Bring The Biggest Crash of Our Lifetime

Hi Scott
 
A question for you if you wouldn’t mind commenting – is there any truth to economist Harry Dent’s latest dire warning of doom for shares and property in Australia? 
 
Jenny
 
Hi Jenny,
 
So I watched Harry on the Today show. He predicted that “2024 will bring the biggest crash of our lifetimes”, and suggested that the value of both Aussie shares and property could more than halve this year.
 
It was frankly … weird.
 
 The folks on Today are supposed to be journalists, but the hardest hitting question they asked wasn’t even a question. All the interviewer said (with a giggle) was, “Geez, that’s a bit depressing”.
 
So here’s a question I would have asked Harry:
 
“Harry, you’ve been incorrectly predicting that Australian property prices will crash for years.
 
“You said they’d be down by … 55% in 2009, 65% in 2011, 55% in 2014, 50% in 2016, 40% in 2018, and 40% in 2020. You have been ball-tearingly wrong for so long, why should we believe you today?”
 
And because he’s a savvy sausage, Harry would no doubt have a well-rehearsed rebuttal that would sow enough doubt in the minds of viewers eating their cornflakes to let him wriggle out of that question. So then I’d then follow it up with my final question:
 
“Harry, if you have all the answers, why don’t you set up an investment fund and make billions profiting from your predictions?”
 
Because, once upon a time he did. Except it was a dud, reportedly losing 80% of its assets before it was merged and closed down.

You’re Nothing but a Bag of %$#^&, Barefoot

Scott,
 
Many people who earn a lot are miners. We sacrifice our lives without family and friends to make higher wages while giving tax cuts to people who choose to earn less but won’t make a sacrifice to earn more. And then they whinge to get more handouts! I’ve never been given a dollar from all the handouts and I’m over it. Australia is a joke. You think we like getting up at 4am and not getting back to our rooms till 7pm? I normally like your column, but if you think we should keep funding the bludgers you can go eat a bag of (DELETED).

Mark
 
Hi Mark
 
I had to severely edit your question for all the swearing, threats and insults – but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Seriously, getting chewed out by an angry miner was the highlight of my week!
 
You work bloody hard, and you get paid bloody well for it. You’re living the Australian dream.
 
Now look, you sound like a tough, stoic bloke. You don’t depend on anyone, and the Government thanks you for that. In fact, you should do what our politicians do: talk to your accountant and discuss shovelling your money into the last great (legal) tax dodge … super, and, because you’re a high income earner, funnel the rest into a family trust.
 
Don’t get angry, just work the system.

AMEN, Barefoot!

Barefoot,
 
I love your position on the tax cuts! I’m in the highest tax bracket, and you won’t catch me moaning about getting a bit less of a still giant tax cut when we are in a cost of living crisis that I am immune from due to my high income. For all of those complaining about providing a tiny tax cut to low income earners who desperately need it, I wish they would all pack up and move somewhere like Brazil – and sip cocktails while staring at the favelas and feeling better than everyone else. This isn’t the Government breaking promises, it’s the Government responding to an urgent situation affecting the most vulnerable in society.  
 
Linda
 
Hi Linda
 
You have to wonder if it was really that urgent, why did they spend months denying they’d change anything … only to turn around and fold like a cheap Aldi card table when the polls dipped?
 
That’s politics I guess.
 
Speaking of which, let’s spare a thought for poor old Treasurer Jim Chalmers.  He’s like me at 9pm on a school night – all he wants is for everyone to shut up and go to sleep. Yet, after Albo’s tax flip last week, some of his colleagues have gotten a bit hot and hairy and want Jim to put tax reform on the table.
 
Good idea. If the Government had the bolas, they could cut the capital gains discount and ditch negative gearing, which would mean that young first home buyers could finally compete on a level playing field with property investors.
 
Yeah, right. “If I hear another peep out of you lot, there will be no tuck shop tomorrow!”, yells a furious Jim Chalmers (who this week ruled both changes out).
 
Oh, and I agree with you on the favelas in Brazil. I visited one a few years ago, and as we walked up to the gates my guide motioned up to the hills – from the top of the hill I could see a gun was pointing at my head. The favelas are run by a ruthless bunch of overlords … kind of like the Government!
 
Anyway, thanks for the words of support, Linda. And, just for balance, here’s Mark, who thinks I’m a soggy sanger …

Could you ... would you?

Hi Scott,

Thank you so much for your amazing money concept for kids. I am a School Chaplain at a low socio-economic school in Tamworth, NSW. I have run with your book idea with some Year 6 students. We found an opportunity to earn money and pay it back to the school through making cards for the Mother’s Day and Father’s Day stalls. I am looking at enthusing the next card-making crew to pick up the mantle next year. These guys are so committed. I was wondering if you might be generous enough to shout them a copy of your book so we can present it to them at their Year 6 formal?
 
Belinda

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Hey Belinda,
 
This warms my heart.
 
I’ve tried so hard to get this message into schools, and the fact that your kids have embraced it is awesome. I hope they enjoyed their signed books.

Scott.

Rethink the six-berth motorhome!

Dear Barefoot,

I’ve loved your advice and guidance over the years. You’ve gotten me from knowing nothing about money management, and having a crappy Westpac account charging $5 monthly account fees, all the way to having $30,000 in index-based ETFs. Normally, you’re the one giving advice, but now those tables are turnin’. I heard about you planning an epic road trip with your fam, and that sounds AMAZING. But I also heard about how you’re going to do it. Barefoot, I love you, and don’t want you to die. That’s why you should definitely rethink driving a six-berth motorhome around Europe! The roads are chaotic, and I struggled driving in a little hatchback, so I can’t imagine doing it in a huge motorhome. If you insist, though, I hope you have Vin Diesel’s driving skills. Just don’t drive in and around the major cities – only use the motorhome to travel city to city. Anyway, stay safe and enjoy your trip – I can’t wait to hear all about it. Hopefully you’ll be back in one piece to tell the tale.
 
Christian

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Hi Christian,
 
This would have been handy to know before I left.
 
It was everything you described and more. So. Much. More.
 
Sicily was like Grand Theft Auto. Rome was hot, as in literally – we didn’t have airconditioning and it hit 50 degrees inside the motorhome, with the six of us.
 
I’ve actually been back for a while now (my editor was going to send out a search party). However, I’ve spent the last month or so down in the back paddock in front of a fire, in a foetal position, rocking back and forth.

Scott.

Eat, pray, panic

Late last year we got back from our latest family adventure.
 
We spent three-and-a-half months travelling through Europe in a motorhome.
 
Just writing that last line makes it sound very … Instagram influencer … #bestlife!
 
So let’s rip off the filter, starting on day three of the trip in the Swiss Alps.
 
Like all good horror movies, this one began innocently enough:
 
Liz jumped into the motorhome and sang:
 
“We’re heading to Italy today … who’s ready to have some gel-a-t-oooo!?”
 
(I personally think she came out a little early with this carrot … after all, we had a boring six-hour drive ahead of us, mainly in dark tunnels through the Swiss Alps.)
 
After about half an hour driving up what seemed to be a gigantic mountain, I nervously turned to Liz and said, “The tunnels … they’ll come soon … right?”
 
“Ummm”, she said, starting to bite her lower lip.
 
Uh-oh.
 
Our kids picked up on the tension in the cabin, and dutifully pressed ‘go’.
 
My two-year-old began totally teeing off, thrashing about in his car seat trying to escape like a drunk bogan being kicked out of the cricket, screaming “I want to go back to the farm NOW!”
 
My five-year-old, who’d been quiet for the entire morning, suddenly announced she was feeling dizzy (altitude sickness) and began chundering into a chip packet.
 
My seven-year-old started screaming at her, “Do you know how DISGUSTING you are?!”
 
While my 10-year-old sat reading Harry Potter, oblivious to the carnage surrounding him.
 
And then as we approached the top of the highest mountain peak … it happened.
 
“There’s a tunnel up ahead”, I cried to Liz.
 
A bright red road sign above the tunnel read:
 
“WARNING: LOW TUNNEL 3.2 METRES.”
 
And that was a problem, because the sticker on my windscreen read:
 
“WARNING: MOTORHOME HEIGHT 3.5 METRES.”
 
And so there we were, on the top of the Swiss Alps, literally on a cliff face, on a road so narrow you couldn’t turn a Vespa, let alone a 3.5-metre-high FIAT motorhome.
 
Calming myself, I hit the hazard lights, came to a gentle stop, turned to the kids, and started screaming at the top of my lungs, “STOP SCREAMING!”
 
Then I looked in my side mirror. There were now at least 25 cars banked up behind me, tooting and repeatedly yelling “FICK DICH!” at me.
 
It’s in pressure cooker moments like these that you work out the sort of husband, father and leader you really are. So I took a deep breath, turned to Liz and said:
 
“Get out.”

She nodded, and dutifully walked through the dark tunnel into oncoming traffic … flagging down cars, trucks and buses with nothing more than mum energy.
 
A few moments later she emerged back through the tunnel and gave me the thumbs up.
 
So hot.  
 
And so, with the cabin now dead silent, we crept through the centre of the tunnel – missing the top of the roof by no more than Peter Dutton’s fringe.
 
We made it!

Did things get better?

You bet they did: this was after all a trip of a lifetime.
 
What made the biggest impact on us?
 
Well, it wasn’t the major must-sees:
 
The Mona Lisa: “It’s pretty small, Dad.”
 
The Eiffel Tower: “It’s too big, there’s no way I’m going up that many stairs.”
 
The Trevi Fountain: “It’s kinda like the one in Bendigo.”
 
Rather, it was the tiny towns and villages we visited:
 
You see, Italy is very rancho relaxo.
 
They work to live, not the other way around (like we do).
 
All the shops close down at lunchtime and everyone goes home for a few hours to relax and spend time with their family. And then in the evenings the old people gather in the town square and play cards, talk, and enjoy a vino while all around them their kids, grandkids and great-grandkids play.
 
We quickly became part of the community. The little Italian nonnas at our local espresso bar would whisk my blond two-year-old away and play with him. After a few espressos, and some Nutella-filled pastries, I’d go and find him. “Is he being annoying?” I’d ask.
 
They’d smile and say …
 
“Scialla.” (Don’t stress.)
 
Tread Your Own Path!

Editor’s note: I haven’t checked my inbox in six months. There are a *lot* of emails. The one that follows was sent back in June …

Barefoot Christmas Books!

Here are the three books that will be in my Santa sack this year (apart from Barefoot Kids, of course):
 
Poor Charlie’s Almanack: The Essential Wit and Wisdom of Charles T. Munger
By Charlie Munger
 
The world lost an investment legend this year when Charlie Munger passed away at age 99. For the uninitiated, Charlie was Warren Buffett’s right-hand man, and together they spent decades running the world’s greatest compound interest machine, Berkshire Hathaway.
 
Charlie was rich enough to say whatever the hell he wanted, which he did – railing against the greed of Wall Street, Bitcoin Bros (he famously called crypto ‘rat poison’), and giving wise advice on living a decent life. Despite being a multi-billionaire, Munger – like Buffett – chose to live in the same humble home for 70 years.
 
“There are answers worth billions of dollars in a $30 history book”, writes Munger.  
 
And this is one such book.

Outlive: The Science & Art of Longevity 
By Peter Attia
 
I didn’t want to like this book.
 
After all, I’m highly cynical of best-selling how-to books (hello, Barefoot Investor).
 
Surely it couldn’t be as good as everyone says it was?  
 
Actually, it was better.
 
Attia is a super-smart quack, and he’s produced the definitive guide to living a long, healthy life. Yet what sets this book apart from other health and diet books is that I gave it to my editor, Wally, a man who knows his way around a sausage roll, and it totally changed the way he approaches his health.
 
Much like the shoeless book, it’s good because it works.
 
The Coming Wave: Technology, Power, and the Twenty-first Century’s Greatest Dilemma
By Mustafa Suleyman
 
So this one comes with a warning: it totally stressed me out. And not just me. A member of my unofficial book club told me he couldn’t get past the third chapter: “It was just too scary, I couldn’t cope.”
 
Suleyman isn’t some blow-hard author trying to sell some books by frightening the pants off us. He’s totally got the chops, having co-founded one of the world’s most successful artificial intelligence (AI) companies, Deepmind Technologies, which was bought by Google a decade ago for $750 million.
 
AI is going to fundamentally change the world, and sooner than we think.
 
He writes about the latest ‘litmus test’ for AI, which is to give it the instruction to “make me $1 million selling stuff on Amazon”. The AI bot will scan Amazon for the most profitable products, have it made in China, list it online, write all the ad copy, manage fulfilment and customer service … and then deposit $1 million into your bank account.
 
Crazy, huh?
 
In the coming decade AI will infiltrate our lives, driven by the fact that it will get smarter and faster, and it won’t get drunk and make an arse of itself at the office Christmas party.
 
This bloke knows what’s coming down the tunnel. Read it to find out what (maybe) happens next.
 
Tread Your Own Path!