I’m All Alone

Scott,
 
I am a 22-year-old single mother with a six-year-old child. I recently escaped significant domestic sexual abuse and violence. My abuser is currently on trial for attempted murder. In order to keep myself and my son safe, I had to leave behind my support network. I received some compensation for the abuse, and I have saved most of this money. However, I am unsure what to do with it. I am considering investing it for my son’s future or maybe a home eventually, as I am afraid of having nothing to pass on to him or fall back on. I would appreciate any advice on how to invest this money, as I do not have parents to guide me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I admire your work, it is truly inspiring.
 
Belinda
 
Hi Belinda,
 
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. You’re not like other 22-year-olds. You’ve seen life. You’ve been through a lot. And that makes you stronger than the average woman your age.
 
My advice?
 
Don’t stress about giving your son money in 20 years’ time – instead, focus on the here and now.
 
The best return you’ll get on your money is not having to worry about it. So I’d suggest you open up an online savings account and deposit three months of living expenses (we Barefooters call it Mojo).
 
After that?
 
Spend money on getting a secure and safe rental in a good neighbourhood.
 
I’d also open another online saver, nickname it ‘House Deposit’, and put some money in it. I don’t know how much you’ll be able to put in there, but it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that you’ll see it each time you open your banking app and know you’ll eventually buy a home for you and your son with that money. It’s begun. You’re going places. It’s only a matter of time.
 
And after that?
 
I’d spend money on making positive memories with your son. Holidays with the two of you in a caravan park. Cricket pads. Scout camps.
 
Finally, spend $5 on a notepad from Officeworks. Write your story down as it unfolds. Then give him that to him at age 22 and it’ll inspire him to go out and make his mark, just like his mum did.    
 
Happy Mother’s Day!

Port Arthur

I’ll get to the millionaire in a moment, but right now I want to talk about something important …

The Port Arthur massacre, in 1996, shocked our country.
 
A crazed gunman killed 35 people and wounded 23 others.

In the days following the tragedy, we were collectively shocked, devastated and outraged.

And our politicians heard us: in less than two weeks they unveiled a policy so big and bold – banning semiautomatic weapons and locking down guns – that countries the world over still point to it today.

The level of emotion over the last few weeks about family violence has been Port Arthur-like.

And this isn’t a one-off event: a woman is killed by an intimate partner every four days.

I look at the photos of these women and imagine the horror of their last minutes on earth. I think about how I’d feel if it were my sister. Or someone I work with. But most of all I think of the scared and scarred little children who have lost their beautiful mum.

Police are currently being called out to a domestic violence event every two minutes. One in three women has experienced physical violence since the age of 15.

We said ‘enough’.

A roundtable summit was called.

Now was the time for the Government to lead and be bold.

And Albo strode out of the summit with … a reheated Scomo policy?

Morrison had the Escaping Violence Payment, which offered up to $5000 for women, and Albanese has the Leaving Violence Payment, which does the same thing.
Now it’s better than nothing.

Yet it doesn’t come close to tackling the big issue: our housing market is a complete dumpster fire.

Many years ago politicians decided it was a better vote-grabber to give tax breaks to investors to provide private rentals, rather than build more public housing.

It’s time to admit that it hasn’t worked.

There are way too many women living with violent jerks because they can’t afford to move.

Last month Anglicare found that, even for educated women earning a higher salary (think teachers or nurses), just three per cent of the rental properties are affordable.
And those cheap rentals have eager-beaver applicants lined up around the corner.

“We’re giving out blankets to women to sleep in their cars”, Anglicare told me this week.

And Homelessness Australia found that just 3.7 per cent of women who flee domestic violence are able to secure long-term housing.

We’re better than that.

So, how could the Government really address it?

Well, let me suggest three ways.

First, by temporarily limiting immigration while the rental market is in crisis.
Second, by cutting negative gearing and the 50 per cent reduction on capital gains tax (CGT) for investors.

And finally, by funnelling those tax savings into building public housing that looks after the most vulnerable people in our society – women and their kids who are fleeing family violence.

That sounds pretty bold to me, Albo.

Tread Your Own Path!

What To Do If You Know You Want To Leave

A woman came to me this week telling me she was contemplating leaving her partner after years of abuse that had, in her words, “totally shattered my self-confidence”.

Here are the exact steps I gave her.

First, safety is your priority
If you’re living with a controlling bully, they may suspect you’re thinking about leaving. That’s when the threat of violence can really ramp up. You need to protect yourself.

So, reach out to the wonderful people at 1800RESPECT line on 1800 737 732 and let them know your situation. They’ll give you advice on entitlements and may be able to find temporary accommodation in the event you’re forced to flee.

Second, put a lock on everything
Change all your passwords and PINs (especially on your email), and, importantly, lock down your phone’s privacy and location-tracking settings. Women are being tracked by their partners like never before. Don’t assume it’s not happening to you.

Third, call your bank’s hardship department
Explain to them what’s going on. They’ll open a bank account in just your name that he can’t access. And the best banks will even provide some ‘getaway money’. I know I’m tough on the banks, but they really do want to help.

Fourth, get digging
Go through any files (either paper or on the computer) and find as much financial information as you can. You’re looking for copies of your marriage and birth certificates, your mortgage or rental details, and any information on shares, property or superannuation.

Finally, go and see a family lawyer
The first meeting will be free, and they’ll explain that you’re entitled to a share of the assets. Many controlling men threaten that they have the financial power in a separation. Your lawyer will call their bluff.

In 81 Days I’m Walking Away from Millions

Dear Scott,
 
I’ve been married for 35 years, and I am scared. I’m only 81 days away from accessing my super balance, which is $30,000. I need to take that money and escape from my husband. I would be leaving a property worth $1.7 million. Nothing is in my name, only the debt of $170,000 that’s left of the mortgage. I know I’m losing everything I’ve worked for, but I’m scared of him, and scared that he can take what I have left. I feel I need to take the money and go overseas so he can’t find me.
 
Denise
 
Hi Denise

I am so sorry.
 
You’re right – now is the time for action – you need to escape.
 
But how?
 
Well, let me tell you a little secret. I’ve helped hundreds of women plan their escape, and their partners all had one thing in common:
 
They were bullies.
 
And, like all bullies, they work hard to convince their partners that they have all the power, sometimes with violence. Mostly with insults and put-downs that systematically erode their self-esteem. And almost always by controlling all the money, which keeps them trapped.
 
Denise, his days of bullying you will soon be over.
 
That’s because over the next 81 days I want you to do the following:
 
First, call your bank’s hardship department.
 
Tell them what’s going on. They will open a bank account in just your name that he can’t access. The best banks will even fund it with some ‘getaway money’. Seriously.
 
Second, lock everything down.
 
Change all your passwords and PINs, and lock down your phone’s privacy and location-tracking settings. While you’re at it, scout around and find as much financial information as you can: you’re looking for copies of your marriage and birth certificates, and any information on shares, property or superannuation.

Third, go see a family lawyer.
 
The first meeting will be free, and they’ll explain that you’re entitled to a share of the assets. He may have bullied you into believing that he can take your super, but the truth is that it’s he who needs to be worried financially!
 
Finally, when it comes time to make your escape, spend money on getting safe accommodation that he can’t access, and getting counselling. Reach out to the 1800RESPECT line on 1800 737 732 – there are people who can help you.
 
Good luck.