From $500 to $15,000

Scott

I do not have a question, I just want to say thank you. Two years ago I walked out of an abusive relationship with $500 to my name and debts that should never have belonged to me. My sister and brother-in-law gave me your book and I quickly decided this was how I would take control again. After two years of hard work and sacrifice, I have paid off all my debts and saved almost $15,000, and I am hoping to buy my first home at the end of 2020. I keep all of your columns in a folder called “YOU CAN DO IT” — and I did! 

Rachel

Hi Rachel,

I love celebrating the wins of the Barefoot community.

Yet I love it even more that right now, hundreds (if not thousands) of people in abusive relationships are reading your story and getting a little inspiration and motivation from hearing about someone who’s done it.

You Got This!

Scott

Should I Bail Out My Bro from a Million-Dollar Mess?

Hi Barefoot,

My dad died three years ago and left his house ($1 million) and super ($200,000) to my brother, and made me the executor. I was self-sufficient, so Dad told me I would not receive anything. Fair enough — I respect his wishes. Now my brother and his adult kids have almost run out of cash and are looking to me to bail them out, the way Dad always did. But I have my own family! How can I help my brother manage his affairs without preaching to him?

Hassan

Hi Hassan,

Plenty of people in your situation would’ve been bitter about not getting any inheritance, but not you. Instead, you were concerned about your brother’s needs, not your own.

That is deeply impressive.

So your next decision should continue in the same vein: it’s all about what’s best for him (and his kidults).

And giving them money is not it.

Your father’s money simply enabled his poor behaviour. It hindered rather than helped him. So deciding to give him more money would be like buying an alcoholic a beer because they’re thirsty.

My view?

Offer to help your brother to set up his basic spending buckets — and even be an ‘accountability partner’. Or, if that’s awkward, support him to go and see a free financial counsellor (call the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007).

Your old man understood that you were strong enough, both financially and emotionally, to make it on your own, and that’s why he didn’t feel the need to give you any money. He was right.

Your brother is the real winner, though. You’re not only someone who can be a good money mentor, but you sound like a great bloke too.

Good luck.

Scott

Beware of 60-Year-Old Hussies!

Hi Scott,

My mum passed away two years ago, and it seems like my 80-year-old dad is being swooped on by several single women 20 years his junior. He lives alone in a lakeside community several hours away from us (my two brothers and me). We are concerned that he will be swindled out of his house and savings, so we have suggested he get his will and power of attorney (POA) sorted. We honestly cannot see what these women see in him, but his ego might tarnish his ability to protect his assets from clever predators. Do you have any family asset protection strategies that we should be aware of?

Dan

Hi Dan,

If you were my son, I’d give you a clip around the ears: “We honestly can’t see what these women see in him.”

Way to cut down your old man!

Then again, if you are dealing with the power of 60-year-old ‘predators’ (your words, not mine!), you’ll have your work cut out for you.

That being the case, I don’t feel qualified to answer this question, so I’ve called up my lawyer, Brett Davies. Here’s what he had to say:

“If your father is of ‘sound mind’, he is free to deal with his assets as he sees fit.“If it is clear he is of ‘unsound mind’, then you are free to use a POA. In fact, in most states you are duty-bound to do so, to protect the person who gave it to you. But the POA is only to help your father — you cannot use it solely to protect your inheritance.

“If he is of unsound mind, you can act against his direction, as he would lack mental capacity. For example, you could have bank accounts moved out of his control. But be careful — if you are wrong (i.e. your father is of sound mind) then you have broken the law. When in doubt, it may be prudent to go down the path of an administration order, which is when a court decides mental capacity, not you.”

Barefoot translation: by all means let your old man enjoy himself, just make sure he protects his nuts. 

Scott

My In-Laws Lied

Hi Scott,

My retired in-laws are bad with money — in fact they had to sell their still-mortgaged house to pay off a $50,000 credit card debt. While they sold (over a six-month period), we paid their mortgage from our own house deposit account. And then they bought a new mortgaged house they could not afford, and lied to us about how much it cost! They will not listen to reason, and I am sure history will soon repeat. Do we help them again and sacrifice our financial future, or do we refuse and feel heartless for letting them suffer?

Casey

Hi Casey,

If I were you, my index finger would be in plaster from all the finger-waving I’d be doing at these financial fools. However, I’m not you, and I don’t have to sit across from them at Christmas lunch.

Ultimately, this isn’t about your parents-in-law, it’s about your marriage. Your husband would be conflicted: he’s caught between his parents and his wife.

So, to your question: do you keep helping them?

Three words: no, no, and no.

Again, easy for me to say, hard for you to do. So I’d suggest you go on a date night with your husband and explain that you’re willing to forgive and forget their past financial faux pas (because really what other choice do you have?).

However, from this point on, you want to make a pact that you won’t enable their poor behaviour again. Besides, as the flight attendant says: “In case of emergency, fit your own breathing device first.”

Then brace for impact!

Scott

From Zero to Five Kids

Hi Scott,

My wife and I — who have had an ongoing struggle with infertility — foster three children. And it has been awesome. However, we have just been given news that has floored us. Last week our doctor called to say we’re pregnant … with twins! Having just picked myself up off the floor, I am trying to figure out how to fast-track our savings to raise five kids. You have helped us wipe out $55,000 worth of debt and save $40,000 for a deposit thus far. We would appreciate any extra advice you can give us now.

John

Hi John,

Now there’s a plot twist I didn’t see coming. I have three children under the age of six, and the most common greeting I get from people is “You look tired”. But you two have gone from a comfy Kia to Toyota Tarago territory in just one phone call!

If we’re looking ‘glass half full’, remember that you’ve already paid off $55,000 in debt and saved up a solid deposit in the bank.

Yet the truth is that one of you will have to take time off work, and, with twins, probably for quite a while.

My advice?

Well, I wouldn’t be rushing to buy a house anytime soon. Instead, the money you’ve saved up should stand as your financial buffer, at least until you’ve worked out the lay of the land. The last thing you need right now is mortgage stress. You’re already going to have sleepless nights — no need to add to them.

Scott

I’m on Lithium

Hi Scott,

My wife and I received $370,000 from the sale of our house, which I decided to invest into an Australian lithium producer. But over the last six months the share price has halved, leaving me (on paper at least) with a very distressing loss. My question is: do I let this ride until things pick up, or am I in a situation that could get even worse?

James

Hi James,

This could get much worse — especially if you haven’t told your wife about the share price plunge yet.She will likely process your confession as follows: you have taken her security — literally the roof over her head — and gambled it away at the casino.And you know what? She’s right.

Dude! What the hell were you thinking? Are you on lithium?

A quick google shows me that it’s been a wild ride for lithium stocks lately. Two headlines from the same publication, just four months apart, tell the story:

November 2018: “Why I think these lithium miners offer great growth potential for investors.”

March 2019: “Have lithium stocks hit rock bottom?”

I have three (boring) rules when it comes to investing:

First, I don’t like investing in speculative companies that don’t have a track record of making money.

Second, I don’t like investing more than 5% of my portfolio in any one stock.

Third, I would never, ever invest money I thought I might need within the next 10 years (say, to buy another house) into the stock market. While good in the long term, shares are just too risky in the short term.

I’m afraid you’ve broken all three of these rules. And, if you’re tempted to keep playing at the casino, remember that things can always get worse from here.

My advice is to stop listening to investment gurus who can’t predict the future, and start listening to someone who has a real interest in your future: your wife. Sit down and make a plan together. 

Scott

I’m Not the High Earner Anymore

Dear Barefoot,

For the last 16 years with my partner I have been the higher earner, and at times he has been unemployed. We have always pulled through together but I have mostly carried the financial burden. This year he has nailed a great contract and will earn 50% more than me. I don’t know how to begin a conversation about where that money is going to go. I don’t want to sound like I am holding a grudge, but I also don’t want him building a tidy nest-egg while I have little to show for the sacrifices I have made. What do I say?

Delia

Hi Delia,

Just blame me.Seriously, here are the exact steps you can take.

Step 1: Buy a copy of my book.

Step 2: Announce: “I’m reading this book and it says we need to go on a Date Night to discuss our finances.”

Step 3: With a beverage in hand, say something like “for 16 years we’ve been a team ‒ we’ve looked after each other financially ‒ but for the first time in our relationship I feel financially vulnerable”.

Step 4: Tell him, “The book says one way couples in long-term committed relationship can work through this is to open a joint transaction account, with a no-questions-asked pre-agreed spending limit. The book has instructions on the best account to set up, and we can do it before the entree arrives.”

Step 5: Then stop talking. Listen to what he says.Bottoms up!

Scott

Help, My Husband’s a Hoarder!

I just finished my first Barefoot Date Night with my hubby. My problem is that he is a hoarder, and the look on his face when he heard your advice about selling our stuff on Gumtree was nothing less than horror. And without selling a heap of stuff there is no way we will have a Mojo account. He earns way more than I do (as I have gone back to university) and I have already sold most of my stuff to pay for textbooks and such. What should I do?

Lee

Hi Lee,

So what you’re saying is “with my drop in income I feel vulnerable, and I want some financial security”.

And what your husband is saying is “I don’t really care”.

Is that too harsh?Probably (especially if he’s actually got a thing for hoarding).

I’m sure he does care … he just doesn’t need to think too deeply about it, because you keep things separate. He may not even realise you’ve had to sell some of your stuff to buy your university books.

Yet this approach isn’t working for you now, and it won’t help you achieve your joint life goals.

So if I were in your shoes I’d have another Date Night and put the issue fair and square on the menu:

As a couple, what do we value more: our stuff or our financial security?

Scott

My Socially Irresponsible Brother Marries his Masseuse?

Hi Scott,

My socially irresponsible 34-year-old brother has recently spent four weeks in Thailand and met an attractive masseuse who seems to have made him believe he is the man of her dreams. They spent the entire time together, and now that he is home in Australia we hear she is expecting their baby!

He is paying the mortgage down on his own property, has a secure job, and will soon receive a substantial inheritance from a relative (who would be mortified at this situation). I feel he is being scammed ‒ if there is a baby on the way, I think this is exactly what this lady intended. Yet he wants to believe all the lies he has been fed, and of course she now wishes to set up life here in Melbourne.

Most of our family agree he should send money to support this child and visit a few times a year. But I fear he will bring her over here, and I am not sure it will end well. What are your thoughts, and how can he protect his interests?

Danielle

Hi Danielle,

That’s a hell of a story … and a complicated question: how can your brother protect his interests?

Well, that presupposes that he actually wants his interests protected.

He’s a grown man. He’s in love. And he’s going to be a father for the first time. So I’m not sure how far you’ll get telling him that the mother of his unborn child is a scammer.

(Look, I have no tuk-tuk in the race: he may be getting scammed. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this has happened. Or she may turn out to be the love of his life. Who knows?)

If I were in your shoes, I would do three things:

First, let him know that he’s your brother and you’ll support him.

Second, encourage him to get DNA tests to ensure the baby is his (as legal counsel Kanye West says: “Eighteen years … eighteen years … and on her eighteenth birthday he found out it wasn’t his?”).

Third, encourage him to get proper legal advice: investigate having the inheritance diverted into a discretionary trust (of which he’s a beneficiary), set up a testamentary trust (estate planning), and, finally, if the relationship goes ahead, get a binding financial agreement (BFA) which sets out what happens in the event of a separation.Good luck.

Scott

Family Feud

Hi Scott,

I am 26 and recently got married (yay!), but my husband and I are not sure how to combine our finances. He owns a house with his brother, and I have a decent inheritance which I would not like to lose if we ended up divorcing (yes, I know it’s a bit early for that!). I thought of leaving the inheritance in the offset account, but if my husband dies I do not want to lose it to my brother-in-law either! How can we make it all work? Do we need a (post) prenup?

Ashley

Hi Ashley,

It sounds a little like you want a Meatloaf marriage: “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that (share my inheritance).”

The way I see it, there are three things you can do:

First, you can go to a lawyer and draw up a ‘binding financial agreement’, which will set out who gets what if you want out of the marriage like a bat out of hell (another Meatloaf reference … ask your parents). The downside to binding financial agreements is that they can be expensive, and they’re often contested.

Second, a more practical approach could be for both of you to write single wills which state that your parents (or whoever) get your stuff in the event of your death. These wills can be updated as you go through life.

Third, if you want to avoid a lot of financial heartache in the future (and also avoid the costs associated with the first two options), I’d seriously consider talking about your feelings to someone qualified ‒ and that’s not me!

Fact is, you’re still in the honeymoon phase of your marriage (which, in my personal experience, lasts until the first kid pops out) yet you’re already choosing money over marriage.

That doesn’t make you a bad person, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It just means you have doubts.

And those doubts won’t go away.

Scott

We’re Rich!

Scott,

My husband (30) and I (24) have inherited an eye-watering $6.5 million! We have paid off our mortgage, bought an investment property and cleared our debts, yet we have no idea what to do with the rest of it. (We have locked it up in our high-interest account while we decide what next.) Now that we have the financial freedom to enjoy our weekly wages freely, we want to be wise with our next move. What do you suggest?

Tim and Sarah

Hi guys,

You have reached your ‘enough’ figure at a time when most couples are still trying to scrape up a house deposit.

That’s the first bit of advice: understand that you have ‘enough’. More money won’t make you any happier from this point on. In fact, as you’ve probably worked out, having lots of zeroes in your bank account is actually bloody stressful, right?

Well, here’s how I’d think about it if I were in your shoes.

Let’s say you have $5 million, which you decide to invest in a low-cost index fund (via a family trust for asset protection).

I want you to think of that investment the same way I think about my family farm (stay with me here!). Twice a year your ‘farm’ will deliver you a golden harvest, in the form of dividends, and it will grow each and every year.

In my case, the land value of my farm goes up, down and sideways (just like share prices), but I don’t care, because I’ll never ever sell my family farm. Besides, it’s the harvest that puts food on the table.

In your case, your ‘farm’ should deliver you around $275,000 pre-tax a year.

Yes, there will be the occasional ‘drought’, and lean times -- but as long as you own the farm, you collect the harvest.

And that’s the lesson: you plant once, and then you can harvest forever.

And that is why you have more than enough.

Scott

Engagement Ring Going Cheap

Scott,

I am currently filing for divorce. My ex-husband rampantly cheated on me with a bunch of random women, and then had an affair with a graduate at his work. Beyond humiliating! So to my question: is there is anything sensible to do with an engagement ring once a marriage has ended, or should I just sell it for a pittance? I know you are not in the business of pawning jewellery, but I thought you may have been asked this question before. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Tamsyn

Hi Tamsyn,

I’ve written a lot about ‘reject rings’ in the past: they’re great for the buyer … not so good for the seller.

If you’re getting divorced the ring could form part of the settlement. However, it’ll be valued at its resale price, not it’s initial purchase price or what it’s insured for.

So here’s what I’d do:

First, I’d talk to your ex-husband and explain that, while he’s hurt you deeply, there’s a part of you that will always cherish your relationship. And, because of the history you have, you’d like to keep the engagement ring as a memento of what has been a major part of your life.

Second, I’d get him to agree to let you keep the engagement ring from the settlement pool ‒ because of its sentimental value.

And then?

Then you hock the bloody thing for whatever you can get, and spend the money on two things:

(a) A very good lawyer

(b) An ‘eat, pray, love’ holiday.

After all, who needs a memento of this mongrel?

Scott

Bailing Out My Boyfriend

Hi, I’m a huge fan!

My boyfriend is currently working overseas, and we plan to ‘go Barefoot’ when he gets back so we can tackle our debts. My accountant suggested we first pay off the personal loan my boyfriend got, which he consolidated his credit card debt into -- a loan that was only possible with my name on it. The accountant suggested using my inheritance, which I currently have in our joint offset account. Trouble is, my boyfriend now has another credit card and I worry I would be bailing him out again! What should I do?

Mel

Hi Mel

Your accountant is just looking at the digits:

The interest on the personal loan is costing you more than the offset, so you could save money by extinguishing that debt. And given you’ve already contracted an STD (Sexually Transmitted Debt) -- that is, you’re now both jointly and severally liable for repaying the loan -- it makes total sense financially.

However, if I were in your situation, I wouldn’t repay the loan.

(Actually, I wouldn’t have co-signed the personal loan in the first place, but I’m a little Judge Judy like that.)

First, because you don’t want to set up the expectation that you’ll reward his dumb behaviour.

And second, because you’re already giving him a helping hand. By keeping your inheritance parked in your joint offset account, you’re already effectively lowering your mortgage repayments, giving him a fantastic opportunity to ditch the credit card and domino his debts.

I’d sell it this way: this is an excellent way to show his commitment to both the Barefoot plan, and you!

Scott

The 3 books I’m giving for Christmas this year

Christmas shopping sucks, right?

Not for me.

Years ago, I cracked the Christmas shopping code: I buy people books.

Although I must confess, last year it didn’t work out so well.

I bought my mother-in-law Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

She opened the present, scanned the title, and the look on her face said it all.

“Oh, I’m not saying you’re a hoarder … it’s just … a really good book. Merry … Christmas”, I added.

Silence.

Anyway, you’re not going to be that stupid, so here are the books I’ve got in my Santa sack this year:

Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World — and Why Things Are Better Than You Think

Bill Gates says this is one of the most important books he’s ever read.

Author Hans Rosling systematically unpacks fake news, sensationalist clickbait, and doom-and-gloom headlines with cold hard facts: actually, in almost every way, the world is getting much better.

While the media reports obsessively on the latest drama of the moment, the upward movement of human progress marches on with little fanfare. This book shows you how to look at the world in a rational, fact-based way.

A perfect gift for your manic-depressive, we’re-going-to-hell-in-a handbasket, MAGA-hat-wearing brother-in-law.

Where Are The Customers’ Yachts?

This year we’ve watched — gobs agape — at the sheer rat cunning of financial institutions: charging dead people for advice, ripping off the mentally disabled, and billing for advice they never gave.

Has it always been this bad?

Hell, yes!

Almost 80 years ago Fred Schwed wrote the book Where Are The Customers’ Yachts?

The title of the book comes from a legendary story about a visitor to New York who stands admiring the expensive yachts of the Wall Street brokers. He naively asks, “Where are all the customers yachts?”

Of course, there were none. As every bank CEO knows intuitively, the really big money is made in providing financial advice, rather than receiving it. This book will make you laugh and cry.

A great book for anyone who is reviewing their super fund fees over the holidays.

How to Break Up with Your Phone

Our phones (and the apps on them) are designed to be highly addictive. They manipulate our brains, suck up ever increasing amounts of our attention, and capture the one true resource we can never replace: our precious time.

Author Catherine Price explains how phones are changing our brains, and provides a four-week program that shows you how to break up with your phone and form a healthier relationship with your screen.
A great gift for … me.

And yes, you guessed it, I’ll also be gifting my book, The Barefoot Investor for Families.

I’ll confess: while I originally wrote the book for parents and grandparents, a huge surprise for me has been how successful the book has been with kids. I’m pitching it as a perfect stocking-filler. After all, the skills the book teaches will set their kids up for life. And that’s a pretty cool Christmas present to give, right?

Tread Your Own Path!

Eat, Pray, Dump

Hi Barefoot,

So I get a message from my wife at 2am while she is in Morocco (finding herself): “I think I’m going to move to Morocco, I’m so sorry.” This really was not expected, nor in my plan for the future. Now I am having to deal with all the financial responsibilities on my own, without a second income. I have a half-renovated house, our combined debts, and now legal fees to deal with the separation. I am 34 and earning good money ($140,000), but it feels like I have caught an STI from an overseas holiday that I didn’t even take!

James

Hey James,

It sounds like your ex-wife took the ‘Eat, Pray, Dump’ tour!

Seriously, I can’t imagine what it was like to get that text ‒ you must be going through hell. And while it probably feels like you’re the one here in Australia cleaning up the financial mess, you are both responsible for seeing this out.

So a couple of practical things: if you haven’t already shut down any joint bank accounts, credit cards or redraw facilities, do so immediately. Also, keep good notes on your finances, and engage a family solicitor.

You don’t mention kids and, given your age, it sounds like it may have been a short marriage. This will be taken into account, and should make things much simpler in coming to a final property settlement.

Obviously you are facing a financial setback, but at your age, and with your income, it’s something you will overcome. So think hard about whether you want to keep the house or sell and make a clean break … your ex-wife certainly has.

Thank-you for reading,

Scott

High Income Earners Completely Out of Control

Scott,

We are what many would consider ‘high income earners’, earning $255,000 a year ‒ and yet we are completely out of control. Our five years of DINK (Double Income No Kids) lifestyle came to a halt when we had three kids in two years, and we are now floundering month to month. I am struggling to change my shopping habits (expensive everything), and we have a large dream house that we started building before our unplanned children arrived. What can we do?

Bec

Hi Bec

I was reading a magazine profile the other day on Johnny Depp.Instead of buying his smokes himself, he has his assistant do it ‒ and gets them to scribble out the health warnings and horrific pictures of blackened lungs with a biro, so he doesn’t have to think about the health consequences. So far it’s working out well for him.

If you’re on a high enough income, you can apply Johnny’s smoke experiment to your money. You’d be surprised how many couples I meet who are in your situation and do just that. As long as the money keeps flowing, you’ll be able to smoke through your prime earning years.

However, it will catch up with you eventually. It always does. The damage you’re doing to your finances isn’t hit or miss. The black shadows, the worries that wake you up in the middle of the night ‒ and cause you to tap out a confessional email to me ‒ won’t go away. Eventually they’ll consume you.

My inbox is full of people who are 20 years down the road you’re on. They’re in their fifties and have suddenly been richoched into reality by a divorce, disease or retrenchment. They’re left bitter and twisted, and scared that they now can’t live any other way.So right now you’ve got a choice. It’s not too late. What you’re doing isn’t working. You’ve admitted that yourself. For the sake of your family -- and to be good role models for your kids -- it’s time to start doing something that will work.

This week I want you to have your first Date Night and set up your buckets. Then, start moving through the Barefoot steps together. They’ll work for you, just as they’ve worked for thousands of couples (and many on far less income than you). The steps work every single time. Not because there’s any magic, but because they’re based on good old fashioned common sense.

Email me next week after your Date Night, and let me know how you go ...

Scott

I Faced My Financial Fire

Dear Scott,

On November 23rd last year, I finally came to my senses and left a violent relationship ‒ then began my ‘financial fire’. My ex-husband immediately did three things: clear out our bank accounts, redraw on our mortgage, and direct his salary solely to his account. At that time, my baby girl was only 10 weeks old, I was on maternity leave at half-pay, and I was drowning in unsecured personal debt.

Yesterday, October 1st, I settled on my new property. I am now a sole homeowner, and my girls (aged 3 and now 1) and I have our very own home. We can start again and move on with our lives. This is all because in December last year ‒ at rock bottom ‒ I read The Barefoot Investor. I set up my buckets, returned to work, and got myself a damn good lawyer. I have gone from financial hardship to no debt, except the mortgage. Words will never be able to express my gratitude!

Melanie

Hi Melanie,

Each week a handful of people write to me to say “STOP PROMOTING YOUR BOOK!”. Luckily, I’ve long given up listening to the ‘full caps crowd’. Why? Because I know there are women in domestic violence relationships who are reading this right now, and they need to know there is hope. Melanie, thank you for being a shining light, not only for all the women reading but for the young women you’re raising.

You got this!

Scott

Dear Mrs Barefoot

Dear MRS Barefoot Investor,I am very curious to know how you manage to fund the ‘maintenance costs’ of being a woman! Even low-maintenance women such as myself incur way more expenses than men. I do not get spray tans, have my nails done or buy lots of clothes, but I do need salon hair colour, makeup, skincare, bras, clothing and waxing to keep me looking and feeling my best. Hubby’s response is “you don’t really need that stuff”, but this is unrealistic. Please help!

Renata

Hi RenataWell, this is a first ‒ my wife has never had a question directed to her before.So I read out your question, and here is her reply:“Let the weeds grow, and see how your hubby likes that!”(Only my wife could get away with saying that ‒ I’d get hate mail for weeks.)Liz and I share the same bank account and have a pre-set ‘no questions asked’ amount we can spend. When you’re sharing money it’s really important to have the freedom to spend money on whatever you want.(Besides, I’m sure some of his expenses wouldn’t fit your idea of necessary either. “My shout, boys!”)

Scott

My Lover Works Too Hard!

Hi Scott,I am 23 and have fallen in love with a 28-year-old who earns $135,000 a year (a lot more than me). He works in construction six days a week (overtime on Saturdays) and he is absolutely set on buying a house ASAP. I love his commitment to the future and to us, but he is always tired and rundown and is rarely available to spend time with friends and family. Is he doing the right thing by working as much as possible? I would like him to take Saturday off occasionally, or am I being immature?

Christina

Hey Christina,I’m pretty sure my wife said the same thing about me when we first met!Sounds to me like your bloke has his head screwed on properly: he’s working hard for the future. You can get away with doing that in your twenties, before the triple Ms (marriage, mortgage and midgets). After that it gets tougher: your time isn’t your own. It’s often said that you spend your twenties learning and your thirties earning -- and that it sets you up for living a very different life in your forties and beyond.There are two books I’d suggest you read -- both of you I mean: The first is mine (obviously!), which sets out the Barefoot Steps that will keep you safe. The second is How Much Is Enough? by Arun Abey. This book has practical exercises that you can do, as a couple, to ensure you put work and the accumulation of wealth in its proper context.I’ll leave the final word to my dearly departed 92-year-old grandmother, who always advised:“Whatever you do, don’t marry a lazy person.”Good advice, Grandma.

Scott

Love Me Two Times, Baby

Hi Scott,

I am 24 and earn a good income. My partner and I are getting serious, but she owes $12,000 ($10,000 car loan, $2,000 credit card) and this is annoying me as I have no debt. I am looking to use $10,000 from my savings ($70,000 in total) plus $2,000 from her next paycheque to pay off the debt. I see this as the best option so we are able to save her entire income and increase our savings for our first home. But I am also worried that, even though she says she has learnt her lesson, she will not lose those bad habits. What would you do?

Matt

Hi Matt,

You’re certainly getting serious … 12 grand of serious!

Look, there’s absolutely no way I would pay off her debt. As in none. No way. Uh-uh. Talk to the hand.

First, because what happens if you guys break up?

That’d just be awkward.

Second, because it would rob her of the opportunity to prove how serious she is about buckling down and paying off her debts herself. If she makes a go of it, that’s a good sign. And if she doesn’t, that’s probably a good sign too.Good luck!

Scott