Should I Bail Out My Bro from a Million-Dollar Mess?

Hi Barefoot,

My dad died three years ago and left his house ($1 million) and super ($200,000) to my brother, and made me the executor. I was self-sufficient, so Dad told me I would not receive anything. Fair enough — I respect his wishes. Now my brother and his adult kids have almost run out of cash and are looking to me to bail them out, the way Dad always did. But I have my own family! How can I help my brother manage his affairs without preaching to him?

Hassan

Hi Hassan,

Plenty of people in your situation would’ve been bitter about not getting any inheritance, but not you. Instead, you were concerned about your brother’s needs, not your own.

That is deeply impressive.

So your next decision should continue in the same vein: it’s all about what’s best for him (and his kidults).

And giving them money is not it.

Your father’s money simply enabled his poor behaviour. It hindered rather than helped him. So deciding to give him more money would be like buying an alcoholic a beer because they’re thirsty.

My view?

Offer to help your brother to set up his basic spending buckets — and even be an ‘accountability partner’. Or, if that’s awkward, support him to go and see a free financial counsellor (call the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007).

Your old man understood that you were strong enough, both financially and emotionally, to make it on your own, and that’s why he didn’t feel the need to give you any money. He was right.

Your brother is the real winner, though. You’re not only someone who can be a good money mentor, but you sound like a great bloke too.

Good luck.

Scott