All Clear from COVID

Barefoot,

We stupidly made the decision to withdraw the maximum $20,000 from my husband’s super when it was on offer due to Covid. Now we want to give it back. Is it as simple as depositing it back into his super account?

Narelle

Hi Narelle,

Good idea.

Almost five million people have withdrawn a combined $37 billion in early release Covid payments. And, given there were no conditions on how the dough was spent, some of it ended up being spent on boob jobs and Botox.

The good news is that the ATO has given an update, saying “individuals can now recontribute their COVID-19 early release payments without it counting towards their non-concessional (after-tax) contributions cap”.

Oh-kay.

Basically, it means you won’t be penalised for injecting the money back into your super, rather than into your lips. Give your fund a call and tell them your plan. They may need you to fill out a form before you BPay the dough.

Scott.

My latest phone trick

Liz walked into the bedroom with tears in her eyes.

I glanced up at her and my heart went into my mouth: she was waving a stick at me with two lines.

“You’re pregnant?! Again?!” I screamed.

“No, I have COVID!” she screamed back.

“Oh, well thank god for that” I said, visibly sighing.

(Which in hindsight was not the response she was looking for at that moment.)

Little did we know, the next week was about to get much worse.

That’s because everyone in our family got struck down … well, except me.

What are the chances?

By Wednesday I was strutting around like I’d won first prize on Survivor. Liz had a hunch and suggested I get some ‘proper testing’ at a drive-through.

So I did.

After a long wait, I wound down my window, took off my mask, and smiled at the nurse.

“What brings you here today?” she asked politely.

And then she threw herself back from my car and started screaming at me to close my window.

I could see the terror in her eyes as I madly fumbled to close my window.

At that point one of her colleagues ran to her aid, and then she too started screaming at me.

For the next 15 seconds it was total pandemonium. I had no idea what was going on because (a) my window was up, and (b) they were both screaming and pointing at me from behind their face masks and visors.

Did I have a new super-weird mutating variant?

What the hell was getting these two so steamed up?

And then I saw it:

A giant huntsman crawled down from the roof of my car to my window, then back on to the roof.

“I’m sorry, I have a spider phobia” said the nurse, her eyes darting frantically around the roof of my car.

The poor woman was terrified. As was I. After all, it’s not the calmest set-up for someone who’s about to push a stick up your nose and down your throat.

Of course, she’s not the only one who’s been getting the shakes lately … investors have been seeing a hairy huntsman or two crawling around their stock portfolios, with the market falling in January.

So is this the start of a major sell-off … or just a temporary blip?

You’ve probably got a hunch.

So, given it’s my first week back, let’s test your gut:

Where do you think housing, shares and Bitcoin will be at the end of the year?

(For reference, last year housing was up 22%, Aussie shares were up 16% last year, yet fell by roughly 5% in January, and the price of Bitcoin is currently US$38,000).

It’s easy to be a hero in hindsight (“I knew 2022 was going to turn out like that”), much tougher to do it in real time.

So, take out your phone and read this script:

“Hey Siri/Hey Google/Hey FBI,

“On the first of January 2023, at 8am, remind me of the following predictions I made today:

“Aussie shares will go up/down XXX%.

“The Aussie housing market will go up/down YYY%.

And Bitcoin will be trading at $ZZZ.”

Go on, do it now!

Postscript: after a very long week, the family was raring to get out of isolation and head to the beach for a holiday. Just to be sure I took a RAT test. Bad news. I was pregnant.

What are the chances?

Tread Your Own Path!

My secret side hustle revealed

Just in case this ever leaks, I need to make a confession:

This year I’ve been doing some ‘side hustle’ work as a garbo.

It all began in lockdown when I was looking for an excuse to get out of the house. A mate of mine has a rubbish removal business and asked whether I’d like to tag along on some of his jobs.

How could I say no?

There’s something about hydraulics, a mate to talk rubbish with, and snooping on people’s trash that really revs my engine.

“I could make a killing by selling a paparazzi shot of you picking up rubbish”, teased my mate. “I can see the headline now: ‘Barefoot investor goes broke, becomes a GARBO’.”

Yet there was an ulterior motive: I have been decking out a barn (read: man cave) on the farm, so I was keeping a lookout for any discarded gems.

As we toured the suburbs dropping off giant skip bins, it was clear that a lot of people had been inspired to do a Marie Kondo cleanout over lockdown.

But you know what was really weird?

I was expecting to find loads of old junk. Yet most of the furniture being chucked wasn’t that old … and the people who’d chucked it would have paid a pretty penny for what had quickly become semi-disposable Swedish furniture.

For my man cave I wanted something that would last. So on the weekend I went shopping for a ‘good’ sofa, and I met possibly the most honest furniture salesman in Melbourne.

“Is it leather?” I asked, pointing at a classy-looking chesterfield.

He looked at me, smiled, and shrugged his shoulders.

“Honestly? It’s spat out of a factory in China. It could be made of rat for all I know. But it looks good, right?”

(He was only slightly joking. Consumer group CHOICE says — incredibly — that there is no one definition of leather.)

“Look, mate, no one makes anything here in Australia anymore”, the salesman said to me emphatically. “It’s too expensive. Everything is made in China. EVERYTHING.”

That was like waving a red rag to a ... rat?

Eventually, after much googling, I found a furniture-maker in Melbourne who has spent decades honing his craft. So I gave him a call.

“How can I ensure you’re putting real leather on my sofa?” I quizzed him.

“Well, how about we go pick out the hide together?” he said.

Hard core.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Not everyone has the coin to get something custom made, Barefoot!”

And I agree — which is why, in addition to getting a sofa made, I’ve also been hunting for restored antique furniture on the cheap off eBay (for the man cave). The sort of stuff that was built in a different era, long before everything was created to be flat-packed on a ship from China.

My thinking: I not only want to be sustainable for the planet, I want to buy something that will outlast me — and support Aussie jobs to boot.

Yes, it will cost more. But, then again, so does paying good money for average stuff and paying two dudes to cart it away every few years.

Tread Your Own Path!

You Need to Know the Truth About Oprah Winfrey

Hi Scott,

I have been a fan of yours for a long time, but you lost me with your column last week. Great story about Chuck Feeney, the billionaire who gave away all his money, but to reference Bill Gates, and also Oprah Winfrey, shows that you are right in with the mainstream media. (Scott writes: At this point Tanya makes a great deal of unfounded accusations about a number of politicians and famous people, all of which I have kept out). I am just an average person, but I knew shortly after this whole plan-demic started that something was not adding up and that is when I started researching. Trump is the only president of America who is trying to drain the swamp and (Scott writes: again, Tanya makes some pretty wild conspiracy claims I won’t go into as they’ve been debunked).

Best wishes,

Tanya

Hey Tanya,

Look, I didn’t like Windows 8 any more than anyone else, but what you’ve written is ‘person randomly shouting on the train’ wild.

And yet, judging by the cacophony of conspiracy emails I got this week, the train is chock-full of shouty people.

To be honest, I wasn’t ready for the craziness unleashed by last week’s column on a humble businessman called Chuck Feeney donating his fortune. Apparently, when one (even briefly) mentions Donald Trump and Bill Gates it rings an alarm in some people’s heads that makes them write furiously about conspiracy theories.

The only thing crazier than my inbox this week was the US election.

Oh, and have you heard the latest conspiracy? Oprah Winfrey will run for president in 2024.

Ridiculous, right?

As if a TV celebrity could ever be president.

The Simpsons is showing its age

The Simpsons is now 32 years old ... and it’s starting to show its age:

You know the opening credits where Homer hears the hometime whistle at the power plant?

That’s actually a throwback to the 19th century, when very few people owned watches, so factories used whistles to signal to workers the start and end of their shift.

In other words, Homer got paid to belt uranium sticks until the whistle blew, at which point he’d race out of the joint so fast he’d end up running over his son each night.

These days, of course, our bosses don’t have whistles … or even a workplace!

And yet you and I know people who think they can still get by simply showing up and whistling away the time.

Well, that may have worked 32 years ago in cartoon land, but it won’t cut in the era of COVID.

For the first time in a generation we’re facing a recession, and most businesses will be looking to cut the fat.

Scary thought, right?

Well, let me introduce you to one person who I guarantee won’t get D’oh’d!

Her name is Melanie, and she wrote me the following message last year … before COVID:

Hi Scott,

In the ‘Grow’ chapter of your book, you advise people who are preparing for their annual performance review to narrow their position description down to three fundamental tasks, and then write ambitious goals to work on for the next 12 months. Well, I actually did it, and not only was my boss impressed that I had prepared for the review, but he decided to give me a pay rise right now because of the contributions I had made to date! Before reading your book, I would never have had the confidence to take control like this. I’m off to celebrate — now I can afford a $15 bottle of wine!

Melanie

I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, “That was last year. Now I’m not looking for a raise ... I just want to keep my job.”

Agreed.

But if you want to keep your donuts, you need to do exactly what Melanie did:

Decide on three ambitious work-related goals, tell your boss about them, then set a diary reminder to do one small thing each day that gets you towards those goals within the year.

Simple, right?

Sure. But not easy. That’s why few, if any, employees ever do it.

And that is exactly the point: it’ll make you stand out in a very good way. And if things go nuclear at your workplace in the next 12 to 18 months, you’ll be in a stronger position than your co-workers — all in the time it takes to watch an episode of The Simpsons.

Toot! Toot!

Tread Your Own Path!