Social Media is the New Smoking

Scott,
 
Australia made global headlines this week after the Government moved forward with a plan to ban under-16s from accessing social media. I know you’ve been all for this, but, as a mother of three teenagers who are permanently attached to their phones, I wonder how practical it will be in the real world. Would love to hear your thoughts.
 
Zara
 
Hi Zara
 
It sounds like your kids are in the same leaky ship as many others – Mark Zuckerberg’s SS Algorithm – and it has well and truly sailed. And just like the rest of us aboard, they are doing unpaid, stressful, around-the-clock work for a billionaire.
Personally, I think these proposed laws will be about as successful as the age limit for drinking or smoking: the reality is that if kids want to drink or smoke they will. There’s always someone with a fake ID, or a loose parent who’ll buy booze for their underage kids.
 
This is how life happens.
 
Still, I think the Government should be congratulated for kicking big tech in the shins (though I draw the line at their ‘Misinformation and Disinformation Bill’, which seems a little too Orwellian).
 
As they say in the classics, “and so it has begun”:
 
Social media is the new smoking.
 
It’ll take a while to fully catch on, but, make no mistake, that is where we are heading. The problems that social media is causing young people are too big and too important to ignore. Eventually – and hopefully not too many years from now – we’ll collectively turn on them.
 
This is how life happens.

Scott.

Unplug Social Media

Hi Scott,

I live in constant fear that my 13-year-old son is being exposed to bad things on his phone. Last semester one of his friends was dacked at school and someone took a photo, and it worked its way around the school. He’s having severe mental health problems as a result, and the police have been contacted because the photo could end up in the wrong hands. I’m trying to teach him the dangers of social media, but I feel like a hypocrite as I’m constantly glued to my mobile phone, setting a very bad example for him. I really hate myself.
 
Leonie
 
Hey Leonie
 
You’re not alone. Everyone is dealing with this. Earlier this year I wrote about Wayne, who tragically lost his son Mac to a scumbag extorter on social media. It was the saddest column I’ve ever written.
 
To mark the first anniversary of Mac’s passing, Wayne has created a grassroots campaign that he’s calling Unplug24. On the 24th of October (this coming Thursday), he’s encouraging people to disconnect from their social media for 24 hours to raise awareness of the harm social media can cause.

So, will staying off social media for 24 hours change anything?
 
Well, that depends on you.
 
Personally, I unplugged from social media a few years ago – fully intending to get back into it (after all, I was told that to be successful I needed to be posting multiple times a day). However, I forgot to plug back in: I liked the freedom so much that I never went back.
 
And you know what?
 
I can tell you that I am genuinely happier for it … and so are my kids.

Scott.

How your life changed in 2012

There were two weeks in July 2012 that completely changed your life forever.
 
However, at the time you were blissfully unaware of what was going on.
 
(We all were.)
 
What happened?
 
Well, it all began when Facebook listed on the Stock Exchange, which was a total and utter disaster. Within a few months its shares had crashed by more than 54%.
 
Why?
 
At the time of its IPO (initial public offering), Facebook stated it had “no material revenue from mobile”. (Yes, in 2012 we were all checking our Facebook friend requests on our web browsers.)
 
Zuckerberg could see the writing on the wall. They were dead meat unless they got on mobile. And so, as legend has it, he pivoted the entire company to building a killer app – fast. He famously refused to have a meeting with anyone until they had presented him with what he wanted.
 
And in those few weeks the smartest behavioural psychologists and programmers in Silicon Valley created the very first social media app, something so powerful that it changed the course of history.
 
Seriously.
 
Let’s flip forward.
 
This year alone we’ll all spend the equivalent of 500 million years scrolling on social media.
 
(Collectively, the world spends 720 billion minutes a day using social media platforms. Over a full year, that adds up to more than 260 trillion minutes, or 500 million years of collective human time, according to a report from GWI, a consumer research company.)
 
In short, you’re spending way too much time on your phone, right?
 
Everyone is.
 
The Digital Australia 2024 Report by consumer intelligence company Meltwater shows that the average time users spend on TikTok is 42 hours and 13 minutes per month. Second place is YouTube, with the average user spending 21 hours and 36 minutes per month. And Aussies are some of the biggest users of Snapchat, with 17 hours across 619 individual sessions (!) per month. Facebook users spend an average of 20 hours and 15 minutes per month, and for Instagram it’s 11 hours and 45 minutes per month (which I thought would be higher, to be honest).
 
Is this a good use of your most precious asset?
 
Well, if you ask Mark Zuckerberg the answer is “Hell, yeah!”. Facebook’s profits were $US32 million in 2012 … and last year they were $US39,000 million.
 
Yet what about for the rest of us?
 
Well, Facebook interviewed eMarketer’s Ezra Palmer about the dramatically increased use of mobile, which is up 627% in the last four years alone. She glowingly described it as our “connected consciousness” and brushed aside the naysayers:
 
“If it were not a valuable way of interacting and being, we wouldn’t be doing it. Mobile is an extension of us … it’s a fundamental shift in our psychology … it’s one thing to look at the [daily usage] numbers, it’s another to think about the amazing ramifications of that”, she gushed.
 
Uh-huh.
 
Just like all those people at the casino wouldn’t be there if it weren’t a valuable way of being.
 
And let’s look at those amazing ramifications.
 
The rise of social media has coincided with an accelerating decline in teen mental health, and hospitalisations for self-harm have exploded, especially for young girls.
 
Not only are today’s kids more anxious, depressed and suicidal than in previous generations, they’re also getting dumber. Australian students are among the world’s biggest users of digital devices at school, yet academic results released in December showed teens have fallen a full academic year behind those who went to school in 2000s, according to the Programme for International Students Assessment (PISA).
 
This all makes sense.
 
Social media (which has done another ‘pivot’, this time to 45-second viral videos) is the equivalent of junk food.  

You wouldn’t spend upwards of 10 hours a day continuously gorging on highly processed junk food and expect to be healthy.
 
It’s the same for our mental health. You are what you eat … and what you scroll (and Zuckerberg is your personal chef serving us up dopamine-soaked donuts all day long).
 
Yet waving our fists at the tech giants is about as useful as blaming Macca’s for your kid eating Big Macs for breakfast.
 
We’re the parents, and we’re in charge.
 
And many of us have trained our children to see that a phone is the most important thing on earth. I’m ashamed to admit that at every milestone of my kids’ life – the day they were born, the day they took their first steps, the day they pedalled their first bike, and every birthday – they looked up and didn’t see my eyes … they saw the back of my phone as I yelled “Smile!”.  
 
They also see Mum and Dad mindlessly scrolling on our phones while the world passes us by.
 
Again, what message do you think that sends them?
 
So I’ve come to a couple of conclusions.
 
First, if I want my kids to have a healthy relationship with technology, I need to model it myself. That means keeping my phone in a dish with my car keys and wallet at the front door – and leaving it there – so I can engage with my family without constant distraction.
 
Second, it’s my job to give our kids experiences they can’t get from screens.
 
Like what?
 
Like encouraging them to have friends over to hang out IRL (which is what kids actually want most). Or going on a family hike, to the beach, or to a sporting event. Or encouraging them to start their own little Barefoot Business (perhaps with a mate).
 
Now this sounds very aspirational, but how would you force yourself to actually do it?
 
Well, the fastest way would be to implement Screen Free Sundays. And that’s what my wife and I have decided to trial with our family – starting this week.
 
Yes, we’re trying to put the internet back in the box, and live like it’s 2012!
 
Tread Your Own Path!

This is the hardest thing I've ever written

What you’re about to read is very uncomfortable.
 
It’s possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever written, but it needs to be said, and you need to read it.
 
Wayne is a 50-something Barefoot Dad. His son Mackenzie (Mac) is 16 years old, and obsessed with footy, cricket and getting his L-plates. The trouble began when Mac befriended a girl on Snapchat who was friends with some of his friends.
 
“Hi Sweety, what do you do?” she wrote.
 
Mac told her that he was the captain of his footy team and that he liked to work out.
 
She told him he looked like he had great abs, and then sent him a photo of her breasts.
 
Mac responded by sending a nude photo … but without his head in the shot.
 
She returned the favour, sending him a nude photo … also without her head in the shot. And after a few more minutes of flirting, they both sent nude photos of themselves with their heads in shot.
 
Then Mac’s phone rang.
 
On the other end of the line was a middle-aged man:
 
“I’ve got your photo, and I’ve hacked your Snapchat. Mac, you are going to put $500 into this bank account in five minutes, or I will send it to all your contacts.
 
“I’m counting”, he barked, then hung up.
 
Mac immediately transferred $500 to the man’s bank account.
 
And then Mac’s phone rang again.
 
“Mac, I’ve got your $500. But now I want another $500. And if you don’t pay me another $500, you’re going to be embarrassed. Your parents will hate you, and you’ll want to kill yourself”, he snarled before hanging up.
 
And then Mac did what you would want every single kid to do in this situation:
 
He walked out of his room, found his old man, and tearfully said, “Dad I’ve made a big mistake”.
 
And Wayne did what every single parent should do in this situation:
 
He lovingly put his arms around his son and said “Mate, you’ve done nothing wrong. You are the victim here. Everything is going to be all right.”
 
And then Mac’s phone rang … again.
 
Wayne grabbed the phone and, quick as a flash, made something up:
 
“This is Senior Sergeant Holdsworth from the Mornington Police. STAY AWAY FROM MY BOY!”
 
The scammer listened, breathing down the line, and then coolly replied:
 
“I don’t care about you or your son. You can both die.”  
 
And to prove it, he sent the photos to all of Mac’s friends on Snapchat.
 
Now he was forced to live with the consequences of his actions … which began at footy training the next night. (Thankfully, his coach turned it into an educational session for the boys on the dangers of sending explicit photos.)
 
The next few months were understandably rough for Mac. 
 
Yet, at dinner one night, Mac was back to his old self, joking with his sister and laughing at Wayne’s dad-jokes. Things had turned the corner, Wayne thought. As Mac went off to bed that night he told his old man that he was excited to put on his L-plates in the morning.
 
And then Mac went to his room and killed himself.
 
The next morning, Wayne opened Mac’s door and found him dead. He sat there with his son, now cold and lifeless – and his entire world fell apart.
 
The next few weeks were a blur of heartache and uncontrollable, throbbing pain.
 
Mac’s funeral was huge – packed to the rafters. After a lifetime of community service and sport, people came from out of the woodwork to give Wayne and his family their heartfelt commiserations.
 
And then everyone else got back to living their lives, as they must do.
 
One afternoon Wayne found himself in Mac’s bedroom, gazing at his son’s prized trophy cabinet. He saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was a note. Wayne reached over, picked it up, and sat on his son’s bed and slowly unfolded it:
 
Dear Dad,
 
Things haven’t been the same for me since that photo. I’m really embarrassed. I’ve let you down.
 
I am so sorry.
 
Love, Mac

I’ll admit that I’ve shed more than a few tears this week talking to Wayne.
 
As the father of four kids, it all hit way too close to home for me. And, if you have a young person in your life, perhaps it does for you too.
 
So this week I spoke to Susan McLean, widely regarded as Australia’s first cyber-cop.
 
“Sextortion is huge, it’s a massive problem”, she told me.
 
“In my 30 years of policing, I’ve never seen a crime type that is tipping previously mentally well young people into a crisis as quickly as sextortion does”, she said.
 
Now, I’m a money expert with no cyber qualifications, yet there are a few things I got out of my chat with Susan, starting off with what does not work:
 
Most parents read the doom and gloom headlines about tech rotting their kids’ brains, causing them to overreact and go all Judge Judy on their kids. Not only does this not work, it makes their kids much less likely to come to them if something goes wrong.  
 
Try these three things instead:
 
Ask Your Kids to Create an Online Contract
 
Sit down with your kids and explain the concerns you have about the addictiveness of the apps, the mental health challenges they create, and the risks posed by the internet.
 
Now here’s the trick:
 
Have your kids create a contract on how they’ll manage their day-to-day online use.
 
You should give them some pointers of what a good contract should contain:

• Regular tech-free times

• Sharing passwords and logins to all accounts

• No phones in bedrooms and bathrooms

• What they should do if they feel unsafe or see something that makes them uncomfortable.

Then, have them pick their punishment for breaking the contract they’ve set. (When I get my kids to do this, it’s always harsher than what I’d come up with!)
 
This works because you’re treating your kids with respect … and that goes a long way.
 
No Social Media until 16
 
Have your kids read this article.
 
When they do, the first thing they’ll say is … “Yeah, but I’d never send a nude pic”.  
 
And the next thing you’ll say is, “You don’t have to. Scammers are now creating AI-generated fake nudes and using them to blackmail kids.”
 
Right now there’s a petition on Change.org to get the Government to raise the age limit of social media to 16 (I signed it this week).
 
Do I think it will actually do anything?
 
Shrugs.
 
Zuckerberg (and the other tech bros) will likely get around anything imposed on them.
 
They’re way ahead – investing tens of billions a year into AI algorithms that promise to change the way humans interact, with the sole aim of making as much money as humanly possible.
 
So anything we can do to make these pricks’ lives harder is good by me.
 
The bottom line?
 
Don’t wait for the Government to protect your kids. That’s not their job. It’s your job. Keep your kids off social media as long as possible. Nothing good is happening there.
 
Don’t Be a Hypocrite
 
Imagine if you told your kids not to drink … while they watch you down a beer at breakfast.  The truth is your kids may not listen to you, but they never fail to model you.  
 
So, how often are you at the kitchen table blankly scrolling through Instagram in front of them?
 
Know this: to make lasting change, you need to have a good hard look at your technology habits.
 
And so, here’s one final cock-a-doodle-doo:  
 
Sign the same contract your kids came up with. I guarantee you’ll be much happier for it.
 
Tread Your Own Path!

(If this story has triggered anything for you please call: Lifeline 13 11 14, Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636)

Thanks for reading,

Scott

P.S. I’ll leave the last word to Wayne, who is a man on a mission to end the tragedy of suicide. He has created a 40-minute session that’ll teach you how to really listen, so you can change the course of a person’s life. Organisations can book a live session at smacktalk.com.au. 
 
This isn’t about money (he’s doing it free of charge).  
 
This is about making a difference and leaving a legacy.
 
And you know what?
 
I think Mac would be incredibly proud of his dad and the work he’s doing.  

This could change everything

Let me tell you about Mark Zuckerberg’s favourite book … and how it could change your world.

It’s a science fiction novel, written in the nineties, called Snow Crash.

And it’s actually become an underground cult hit in Silicon Valley, for reasons you’ll soon understand.

Here’s the premise of the book:

The global economy is in ruins, and governments have lost their power to a handful of giant corporations (sound familiar?). To escape their depressing reality people don augmented reality goggles and slip into an alternate internet-enabled universe, which they call … the Metaverse.

Zuck loves the idea of the Metaverse so much that he’s making it a reality: he’s not only rebranded Facebook as Meta, but he announced he’s spending ten billion bucks this year alone building the Metaverse.

Sadly investors didn’t like the idea of Snow Crash … and instead turned it into a share crash:

Last Thursday Meta’s shares suffered the largest one-day crash in US corporate history. The internet giant’s shares plunged 26%, wiping more than $US240 billion off its market value.

And the great cyborg-CEO personally took a $29 billion haircut.

Interestingly, Bloomberg reported that Zuck held an ‘all hands’ staff meeting the following day where sources said he appeared red eyed, wore glasses, and warned his team that he may tear up because he had “scratched his eye”.

Uh-huh.

(Mate, it’s okay to cry, you just rubbed out two Gina Rineharts in one day!)

Here’s my take:

Zuckerberg – the boy wonder billionaire – is losing for the very first time in his career.

See, today, the most successful site on the web isn’t Facebook, or Google or Instagram, it’s Tik Tok.

The Chinese app is currently adding eight users each and every second, and the overwhelming majority are kids. (Meanwhile your Aunty Karen is ranting about face masks on Facebook.)

So, rather than compete head on with Tik Tok, Zuck seems to be doubling down on what made him a billionaire:

Capturing, and then exploiting, our attention.

“From the very beginning our main objective was how do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?” admitted Sean Parker, Facebook’s founding president.

And it worked shockingly well.

The average Aussie now spends 5.5 hours per day on their phone, which equates to 16.6 years – or around 33% of their waking life staring at a screen – according to a study by Reviews.org.

Yet it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

The next play is to suck you into your phone and engulf you in a virtual reality – the Metaverse – that you rarely come out of. And Mark Zuckerberg’s megalomaniac ideas (and those of his other tech-tobacco farmers) will control and monetise everything.

Okay, so I admit that this is all sounding a little like a weird sci-fi novel, so I caught up with a very successful tech entrepreneur I know, who cashed out of his last tech business for a cool $200 million, to discuss the Metaverse.

He put it this way:

“If you have a teenage kid, you have likely already experienced a version of the Metaverse: online gaming. Kids go into that world and don’t come out for hours … even days”, he said.

“Yet, thankfully, no one really trusts Meta …”, he said reassuringly.

But then he added:

“... however, if Apple releases its rumoured virtual reality glasses … humanity is screwed.”

Tik. Tok.

Tread Your Own Path!