Should I Ask My Kid How Much He Earns?

Hey Scott, 

I’ve been following you for years. Your recent take on “Should I tell my kids how much I earn?” got me wondering about the flip side: Should I ask my son how much he earns? He’s 26, still living at home, working full time since TAFE. He pays a bit of rent, chips in for bills, says he’s saving for a house one day. We get on great: good chats over Sunday dinner, no drama. I’m curious about how he’s doing, but I also want to respect his privacy. If I don’t share my income, is it fair to ask about his? Or should I just zip it and trust he’s got things sorted? What would you do, Barefoot? 

Vanessa

Hi Vanessa,

Should you ask him how much he earns?

Wrong question.

You have good chats and no drama with your kidult who’s still living at home? 

That doesn’t happen by chance. It tells me you’ve built a good, respectful relationship. That’s seriously huge, and you’ve earned the right to influence him.

So use it.

Ask him this instead: “Where do you want to be when you’re 30?”

He’s got four years. Does he have a specific savings target? A move-out date? Or is he just vibing in your spare bedroom?

Here’s what I'm seeing: He’s working full time, paying a “bit” of rent, and “chipping in” for bills. Meanwhile, his mates who moved out years ago are paying $400-plus a week in rent and bills and figuring out how to actually budget on what they earn.

But your son? 

He’s playing Auskick in the backyard.

Look, I get it – you love him, and you want to help him save. But here’s the reality: if he’s paying you $150 a week instead of the $400-plus his mates are paying, that’s $250 a week in subsidised cushiness.

And over the next four years until he’s 30? 

That’s a $52,000 free kick!

(And is it worth the embarrassment of telling potential romantic partners he still lives with his mummy?)

So here’s your Sunday dinner conversation: Tell him it’s time to put a number and a date on this ‘saving for a house’ dream. What’s his target? When’s he moving out?

Oh, and here’s one final question, for you:

Are you helping him, or enabling him?

My Sister-in-Law is a Bludger

Scott,

I am over it! My husband’s sister, her partner and their three kids have been living off my in-laws for five years. They moved in to ‘save for a rental’. Five years and another baby later, still nothing. The partner only just started working after four years of unemployment. Meanwhile, my husband and I have sold our first home, have relocated, and are smashing our mortgage following your advice. We never get acknowledgement from his parents. Maybe that’s why I’m furious watching those kids learn it’s okay to freeload. Should my husband say something to his sister? Or do the in-laws just need to kick them out?

Lena

Hey Lena,

You’re angry because you want a pat on the back for being an adult.

So here you go:

Pat. Pat.

Lena, the only external validation you need is the fact that you’re not holed up with your mother-in-law eating apricot chicken in her lounge room each night.

These people are unlikely to change. 

So I’d redirect your emotional credits towards helping their kids. 

Show them what self-sufficiency looks like. Take them to your place. Let them see that adults work, save, and stand on their own two feet. They’re learning from everyone around them right now – make sure you’re one of the teachers.

Just don’t expect any pats on the back.

Thanks for Nuttin’, Albo

Scott,

I think I know your answer but I’ll ask it anyway. I’ve just been reading that in the US Trump is bringing in 50-year loans to help people get into their first homes. I’ve googled it and found that some banks here will do 40-year loans, which would help lower our repayments. Given all the homes we’ve been looking at around Albany have increased in value by $20,000 (or more) since the 5% deposit scheme was rolled out, is this worth looking at?

Tim

Hey Tim,

You’re right, you know my answer.

Don't take financial advice from a bloke whose businesses have been bankrupt six times.

Yet I get it. You scrimp and stash away $350 into your little savings account, and in one weekend house prices jump $20,000, thanks to an elbow from Albo. That completely sucks. Yet what sucks even harder is signing up to a 40- or 50-year loan. It’s literally a death trap: the average first-home buyer is now 38 years old. That means you’ll be making payments at 88. Yet most Aussie blokes are dead by 84!

Let's say you take out a $600,000 loan on a 50-year term. Your repayments will be much lower than a conventional 30-year loan. However, there’s no free lunch. You’ll end up paying $600,000 extra in interest to the bank.

Here’s you: “Yeah, but I’m not a loser, I’ll pay it off early, and all I care about is getting in, and the next 10 years.”

Here’s me: In the first 10 years of that 50-year loan, you’ll pay $353,000 in interest while only reducing your principal by a teeny, tiny $26,000. You’re basically renting from the bank while being responsible for all maintenance, rates and insurance.

Politicians can smell your desperation.

They’re hoping you don’t do the calculations.

My final column

This is my last column for the year.

And the biggest lesson I learned this year wasn't about money – it was about time. We get 4,000 weeks, if we’re lucky. I’ve burned through half of mine, and time is speeding up.

My life is vanishing between the scramble – “Hurry up! We’ll be late. Where is your water bottle? Do you have your water bottle? I packed your water bottle. Go and get your water bottle!” – and the scroll at the end of the night watching numbing videos one after another. 

Look, I’m no role model. The phone in my pocket is too powerful – it’s designed to pull me in and eat hours of my life. 

So this year I created one embarrassingly simple rule:

The last hour of every night I spend with my wife. No screens. No fixing, just listening. Connecting with her is a priority, because if that falls then everything falls. (After all, divorce is one of the biggest wealth destroyers you’ll face. So, yes, this is about money.)

So I literally put a reminder in my phone each night at 8pm:

“Time for Liz”

“What’s that?” asked my son when the reminder came up on the Apple CarPlay on the way home from basketball practice.

“It’s a reminder for me to spend time with your mum.”

“Why do you need to be reminded?” he laughed.

I wanted to tell him that, without it, I’d go down a rabbit hole researching the latest Demons trade talks, or sending mates dumb memes, instead of talking to his mother.

I stopped short.

“Sometimes we all need a reminder about what really matters”, I told him.

Tread Your Own Path!

His Spreadsheet Says "No More Kids"

Scott

My partner and I have started talking about having a second child. He's convinced we can't afford to raise two kids in Australia to the age of 18. He even built a spreadsheet to prove it! Everyone I talk to says "you just make it work", but this is not enough to get my partner over the line. He earns $90,000, and I'm currently working part time in retail while studying. We have a mortgage and are very careful with our spending, yet we're still struggling to save with the current cost of living.

What I can't wrap my head around is that so many families in tougher financial situations than ours seem to have multiple kids and make it work somehow. Is my partner right to make this decision with his head rather than his heart? It feels so wrong – and, honestly, heartbreaking – to think money might be the deciding factor.

Ella

Hey Ella,

That family with more kids than you?  

They didn't consult a spreadsheet. They don't budget either.   

Heck, he probably proposed to her because he thought she looked hot in jeans.   
Thinking time over. Case closed. Bam!

Look, I wish more parents would do a spreadsheet. It's refreshing. I'd certainly do one for buying a car and definitely for buying a house. But for having a kid?   

Nah.  

There ain't an Excel formula that can show kids are a good payoff.  

I have four. Financially, they don't stack up.  

However, you make it work. Public schools. Hand-me-downs. Government payments for each kid.

Plus, the spreadsheet he's built is likely only a snapshot in time: fact is you'll earn more as you finish your study, and once the kids go to school you'll have more capacity to work.

My view?

Your partner is a careful guy who takes his role as a parent and a provider seriously. You're writing to the Barefoot Investor about procreation. You guys are more aligned than you think.

So let me give you the ultimate formula:

The only kids you regret are the ones you don't have.

We're Facing Bankruptcy

Scott,

My husband and I followed all the Barefoot steps. We saved $40,000 and got into Sydney's property market in early 2024 using the 5% deposit scheme. Not long after settling, we discovered why the apartment seemed affordable. There were serious waterproofing issues, and our strata fees jumped from $1,500 to $2,500 per quarter. Worse, from the first night we realised we were in a terrible neighbourhood. The noise was constant. When we tried to talk to neighbours, we got late-night knocks and harassment. Our young children were terrified. After 1.5 years we couldn't take it anymore. We rented elsewhere and listed our apartment. Five weeks later, no interest. We're paying both rent and the investment loan. Our agent wants us to drop the rent per week $150 below market. If we sell, we'll break even but be locked out as Sydney prices soar. If we hold on, we risk bankruptcy.  What would you do?

Sally and Rod

Hello,

In which Barefoot Step does it say to take out a loan with a 5% deposit?

You didn't follow Barefoot, you followed Albo and his dud policy:

"Only Labor will help you buy a home right now!"

And you did!

So, what should you do now?

Stop listening to politicians who are poking your FOMO for votes would be one idea.

Another would be to take responsibility for your own decisions.

Let me hold up a mirror:

You rushed into buying it. Now you're rushing to sell it. See the pattern?

Here's my hunch: I think the two of you know what you need to do. So, book a Barefoot Date Night for this coming week and get a realistic gameplan on where to go from here.

That's Barefoot Step 1.

The Best Christmas Present Ever

Hi Scott,

I bought Barefoot Kids for my seven-year-old son Chris during the school holidays. I wasn't sure he'd read it – he's only ever read small books before. Well, he's now read it multiple times, made his jars, and is planning to start two businesses: creating video games and selling dog treats. Here's what really got me: I'm 40, and I still don't have my money sorted. Watching Chris get excited about saving has finally inspired me to read YOUR book and fix my own finances. Thank you for giving him a better start than I had.

Linda

Hey Linda,

Thanks for the kind words.

This year I've taught my money class at my kids' school, and the results have been awesome. The key to teaching anything is to make a game out of it – to get the kids off their screens and into the big wide world. They'll amaze you every time. Oh, and please thank your son for inspiring you! Merry Christmas!

A book so good I bought 50 copies

We Are in the Poo

Dear Scott,

Three days ago my husband rang to say sewage was pouring out of our basic 70s suburban Melbourne house. A plumber quoted $48,000 plus GST to dig 2.5 metres down under our old cubbyhouse to fix the blockage.

By the time I got home, my hubby had paid a small deposit. Sewage was flooding the neighbour’s place and the street gutter. We pissed on the lawn that night. Next morning our youngest had a baby wipe shower and pooed into a plastic bag-lined bucket before his school production.

The plumber returned and pressured my husband into a payment plan, and then cornered me. He literally grabbed my phone when his ‘interest free’ app wouldn’t load. I saw the finance company ‘Humm’ and remembered your warnings, but I had major surgery booked at work (I’m a vet) and had to leave.

After performing the surgery and euthanising a dog with an inoperable tumour, I came home to find a Portaloo being delivered. No digger had arrived, just a bloke with a shovel.

Thursday morning I noticed water still flowing despite no taps running. I was convinced it was coming from neighbours uphill. The plumber dismissed me. I rang Yarra Valley Water. The blockage was in the communal sewer over our fence, not our property. Yet the plumber kept digging.

When my husband questioned the plumber, a ‘chief’ arrived demanding a 30% cancellation fee. My hubby’s distraught. The ‘chief’ returns Monday at 9am for our decision. 

We’ve already sold shares to pay. What do we do?

B

Hey B,

These guys sound like total turdburglars.

Look, scammers are experts in exploiting people when the crap hits the fan (or in your case the neighbour’s yard). Still, I’m sure your husband feels embarrassed and ashamed.

However, you likely have a 10-day cooling-off period, and the 30% break fee is probably unenforceable  (they can only charge actual costs incurred).

Let him know that I think sorting this out will be as simple as cleaning the dunny after a seven-year old’s slumber party (plug your nose, grab some Pine O Clean, apply some elbow grease).

First, cancel their services via email immediately – state that you’re exercising your cooling-off right.

Second, contact Humm finance: tell them you’re disputing the contract and want the finance cancelled. If they give you any pushback, contact me and I’ll call them.

Third, get two other quotes (and get on to Yarra Valley Water) and prove the $48,000 is inflated.

Finally, Consumer Affairs Victoria (1300 558 181), and Consumer Action Law Centre on (03) 9670 5088, for official advice on dealing with this diarrhoea.

My guess?

Most scammers get the trots when they see you roll up your sleeves and quote your rights. 

It’s time to flush these turds!

The $500 Kid’s Birthday Party

Scott,

Kids’ birthday parties have become ridiculous productions – themed decorations, catering, gift bags – and now parents are expected to bring presents for every child attending. We used to do cake and backyard games. Now it’s stressful and expensive, and teaching kids that birthdays are about stuff instead of joy and friends. How do we step off this treadmill without being the odd ones out?

Jen

Hi Jen,

My four-year-old was super excited about Grandad’s 76th birthday last week. 

He got on FaceTime and innocently asked: 

“What party games did you play, Grandad?”

“Oh? Erm, well, it was just a quiet day with Gran and I …”

I have four kids and, yes, it’s got out of control. Here’s what’s happened: parents  have started matching party costs to gift costs. Yet it’s an arms race nobody signed up for.

Your kids don’t care. They want their mates there. That’s it.

So, hold the party at the local park. Sausage sizzle. One game. Cake from Coles. Booze for the parents.   Three packets of mixed lollies in paper bags as they leave (revenge is a sugar high in someone else’s car).

Doneski.

What’s stopping you?

You're scared of being judged by the other parents. Or even deeper ... of your kids being judged.

“Why didn't we have the Encanto themed party where everyone got themed party gifts?”

Here’s the truth: that won’t happen. Your kid will be laughing with their mates, eating sausages, and having a ball. And you’ll have saved yourself $500 and three hours of stress.

My Son’s Girlfriend is a Tramp

Scott,

My son’s girlfriend decided to move in with him. I suggested a cohabitation agreement, only to hear it is too expensive ($2,000 according to them). He has no debt. His girlfriend has $71,000 study debt and a five-year-old child. She drives a big family 4x4 vehicle. My son drives an entry-level Suzuki. The young child’s father does not pay maintenance – Mum’s choice. 

My son earns more than her, but all expenses and debt are split 50/50. She is doing further study (thankfully her employer is paying for it), so she has limited time after a day’s work. So my son does the housework, cooks, bathes and feeds the child while working full time. I might be a pedantic mother, and I understand that times have changed, but I still see red flags!

Helen

Hi Helen,

It sounds like you think your boy’s new girl is a tramp.

That being said, this is not her first rodeo, and she didn’t trample her baby’s daddy.

 So there’s that going for her.

The real question isn’t whether they need a $2,000 legal document. It’s whether they’ve actually talked about what ‘fair’ means when one person brings debt, a child, and a 4x4 to a household where the other person brings income, a Suzuki, and all the cooking skills. 

A cohabitation agreement forces that conversation– not just because it’s legally binding, but because sitting across from a solicitor makes it impossible to dodge the hard questions: What happens if you split? Who pays her debt? What’s his role with the child? How do you divide assets when one person comes in with debts?

Here’s an analogy you may want to suggest to your son: You don’t expect to prang your Hilux but you still get insurance, because the financial and emotional ramifications could be catastrophic.

The real power of hanging out with people who bill by the minute is getting clarity should things go from “I love you” to “I’m in the dog box” to “I’m keeping the dog”.

Disclosure: I chose not to get a prenup with my wife, despite my lawyer begging me to the same way a labrador begs for a sausage.

Why?

Because I went all in.

Maybe your son has too.

That’s his call to make, not yours. Even if watching him make it keeps you up at night.

Using AI to pick winning stocks

Barry pushed his phone across the table. Twenty-five stocks. Companies he couldn’t name.

“ChatGPT picked every single one”, he said. 

“I'm crushing it.’

I was having dinner with a mate I’ll call Barry … and Barry has gone balls and all into AI.

In fact, these days it’s hard to work out where Barry starts and ChatGPT ends. 

Solving climate change? 

“AI.” 

Write a work email that makes you sound like you care? 

“AI.” 

Constipated? 

“Mate, have you tried asking ChatGPT about fibre intake?”

“Do you even know what these businesses do?” I quizzed him. He stared at me blankly.

“Let me just ask ChatGPT …”

“Enough!” I cried. 

“Mate, you reckon your AI can pick winners? Fine. Let’s bet. Your ChatGPT portfolio vs my boring portfolio of index funds. Ten years. Loser buys dinner every month for a year.”

I don’t need an AI to tell me the answer, I know I’m a shoe-in. That’s because years ago I sat in Omaha and watched Buffett make basically the same bet with a Wall Street hotshot. His basic, no-frills index fund versus Wall Street’s elite hedge funds.

Ten years later?

Total bloodbath. Buffett 126%, hedge funds 3% to 88%.

Why am I so sure I’ll win Barry’s bet?

First, Barry can’t help himself. His AI’s already told him a crash is coming twice this year. He’s traded in and out like a day trader with a crystal ball. The more he trades, the less he’ll make.

Second, he’s not special. Everyone has ChatGPT. If the magic lamp actually worked, we’d all be rich. Which means nobody would be.

Third, Barry thinks he’s discovered the future. But he’s actually just automated his worst impulses.

Here’s the thing that ChatGPT fails at:

Getting rich isn’t about being clever. It's about resisting the urge to be clever.

See you in 10 years, Barry. I’ll take my steak medium rare.

Tread Your Own Path!

The $50,000 Crust Pizza

Scott,

My 22-year-old daughter worked at a Crust Pizza store. They owe her $2,500 in unpaid super. She did everything right: approached the owners, contacted head office, then reported it to the ATO. Everyone said it would be paid. It wasn’t. The ATO’s response? Basically bad luck. How can employers legally be required to pay super, yet face zero consequences when they don’t? What can she do?

Wendy

Hi Wendy,

She’s in good company.

Around 2.8 million Aussies get dudded on super every year. 

The figures burn like a Mexican pizza: $100 million doesn’t get paid each week.

Worse, the system’s a joke: most employers don’t even cop a fine.

However, from July 2026, bosses must pay super within seven days of wages or face real penalties.

(Or so says the Minister’s press release.).

Now what can you do?

You’ve done everything you can … so maybe I can add a couple of jalapenos to the mix.

After all, that $2,500?

It would have compounded for 45 years and be worth as much as $50,000 at her retirement!

So here’s what your daughter should tell every 22-year-old she knows: check your super fund directly – not your payslip. Payslips show what should be paid, not what actually lands. Trust no one. Check everything!

Oh, and a note to Crust Pizza’s media communications executive who is reading this right now:

There’s nothing gourmet about wage theft.

Pay the kid the damn money!

Send me an email (scott@barefootinvestor.com) and I’ll give you the details.

Go on, earn your crust, and I’ll report back next week.

Teaching My Kids About Death (And Taxes)

Hi Scott,

I’ve followed you for years and your tips helped me get debt free except the mortgage. My question: Should I ‘tax’ my seven-year-old when he works? We’re sorting out our garden area and my son wants to help earn money to buy an $85 toy. We agreed on rates: $1 per hole, 50c to plant and water each plant (about 40 going in), plus weekly watering fees. 

I jokingly said I’d need a tax invoice. This led to a conversation about tax. I explained I’d take 20% tax and 10% super – so his earnings would be 30% less than expected. I’ll put that money into his bank account. Is this smart financial education? Or should I let him earn, save, and appreciate hard work – just stick with the three buckets?

Gary

Hi Gary,

You’ve totally overcooked it mate.

You have three goals with this: 

First, to get him outside in the fresh air and away from screens.

Second, to show him that hard work pays off.

Third, to get a pay-off yourself: you’re creating happy memories that you can draw on when he becomes a scowling, grunting teen.

Go create those memories, Gary.

And when you two have finished a hard day’s work, take him out for a celebratory ice-cream.

And just as he’s unwrapping his Cornetto, I want you to snatch it and take a huge bite out of it.

Explain that it’s the ‘dad tax’.

My Boyfriend Is Rich (and Black)

Scott,

My new boyfriend is very successful. He has a black Amex, which he says has an ‘unlimited’ balance (as in he could buy a house with it). I’m not sure if he’s joking. He says the points are insane, which bodes well for overseas trips in business class! 

Jess

Hi Jess,

I can picture this dude:

Strong cologne. Leased Mercedes. Blinding white choppers.

I am a very unimpressive person who pays with a debit card. However, I can dream.

So to answer your question I found myself, blinds drawn, googling what I call ‘penis cards’, AKA status rewards credit cards. That’s where I discovered your boy’s card. It’s the King Charles of credit cards: the American Express Centurion.

The wank factor is an 11 out of 10 straight out of the gate:

“Made of anodised titanium, it gives the card its distinctive metallic black finish. The Amex Centurion is not for everybody.”

Uh-huh.

You can only get one if you’re ‘invited’ by American Express.

And if you manage to score an invite?

There’s a $5,000 application fee. Get accepted? $6,500 a year.

Who on earth pays $11,500 for a credit card?

Tossers. 

Like your new boyfriend.

People who think that a woman will be impressed with consumer credit and blingy things.

Now, what about the points?

Well, I personally think that rewards points are so 2014. That was the year banks slashed the value of their rewards program in half (and they’ve been slashing them ever since).

Here’s what it actually looks like for the rest of us: You spend a year carefully putting every coffee, every tank of petrol, every everything on the card. You rack up points. You finally book that ‘free’ flight to Queensland. Then you sit down and do the maths – really do it – and realise you paid $395 in annual fees to earn a $420 flight.

You saved $25.

Congratulations. You earned $2 a month for being Qantas’s loyal little data stream.

And it’s getting worse.  As a result of the RBA clamping down on bank fees, the banks are slashing point values and jacking up credit card fees. 

But not quite as high as your boyfriend is paying – that dude is in a league of his own.

The next crash is coming

You wake up and check your phone. The markets have opened, and your super is down 25%.

$125,000 gone. Just like that.

What do you do?

I get asked this question constantly, dressed up in different apocalypse scenarios. The US defaults on its debts. A global recession hits. China invades Taiwan. The AI bubble bursts. 

Truthfully?

Every investor has their own disaster movie playing in their head. 

The problem is you’ve created a story … and it’s almost certainly wrong.

I know this because every story I’ve created has been wrong too:

I was convinced Trump’s 18% tariffs would skewer the world’s largest economy.  

Didn’t happen. 

I thought AI was overhyped by Silicon Valley grifters and would crash. 

Hasn’t happened (yet).

So, faced with all this doubt and fear, how do I continue staying in stocks?

Well, my secret to investing is the same as my marriage: 

Low expectations and permanent paranoia.

I expect the share market to deliver around 7% after inflation over the long term. Nothing more. 

I stay away from whatever Wall Street is selling (like private credit) and stick to index funds.

Finally, I keep years of living expenses in cash and fixed interest (yes, it reduces my returns, but it lets me sleep at night).

Now back to your nightmare where your super has evaporated.

What do you think you would do faced with that news?

Your answer to this question tells you everything about whether your portfolio is right for you, or a disaster waiting to happen.

Does it make you want to panic and sell? 

If so, panic early. Talk to your super fund about reducing your exposure to the markets.

Does it make you want to buy more shares on the cheap? 

Then you likely need more cash sitting ready to pounce when it happens.

Look, the crash will come. It always does. The key to sleeping soundly is to open your eyes and live through it today.

Tread Your Own Path!

A Reminder from a Survivor

Hey Scott,

I read your book at 21, bought a home at 26 … then got cancer at 34. Following the Barefoot steps made my diagnosis manageable. Three months of saved expenses (Mojo) saw me through treatment until my Income Protection kicked in. No financial pressure to return to work whilst I continue immunotherapy.

However, sharing my story with friends (most with large mortgages and small children), it terrifies me how many don't have adequate Income Protection.

My message: spend 30 minutes checking your super fund's default cover. Ask yourself if it's enough when the worst happens. You never want to claim it, but if you need it, it's a financial life raft.

Ellie

Hi Ellie,

This is important. 

I don’t want to put the mozz on anyone, but Ellie didn’t think this was going to happen to her either.

I consider this a Public Service Announcement from a tough as nails survivor.

Act accordingly.   

Thank you for reading!

What’s the Catch?

Hi Scott,

Long time reader, first time writer! After comparing super funds I was contacted by Sue from (FINANCIAL PLANNING FIRM’S NAME DELETED BY BAREFOOT’S LAWYERS) and after answering a lot of questions they’ve suggested I move my $70k Rest super (growth index) to an AMP super where they say they can manage it and improve my return from 9% (500k retirement) to approx 15% (1M+ retirement) due to the larger variety of investing options. The only catch is a one off transfer fee of $3,300 and I’m certain they mentioned another fee of about 1.65% which I believe was recurring. What do you think? 

Barry

Barry,

No. No. No.

Barry, just … no.

We are not doing this. Not on my watch.  You haven’t been reading me for this many years to get screwed by some cocker spaniel cold caller.

They are lying to you.

The catch isn’t just the $3,300 one off fee. That’s gerbil feed in the scheme of things. 

The real snatch is that they are TRIPLING your annual fees. That will end up costing you hundreds of thousands of dollars over your working life.

From your super account to Sue’s savings account.

Barry, stick with your low cost industry fund.

If you want to boost your returns, cut your fees. You could consider moving your current investment option to high growth index funds.

Don’t take the call, make the call: to your super fund.

Scott

Help! I’ve Ruined My Husband’s Life

Hi Scott,

I'm overwhelmed, emotional and don't have any closer friends I can speak to or confide in. My husband and I recently brought a new house but the loan is eating up most of my pay. (He loves cars and we have 4 at the moment, but only use 2 at any time!) My husband said to me yesterday that he hates his life and that he hates never going on holidays and having fun like everyone else.  He's intimated that he's had a dreadful life since he's met me, and to be fair that's not wrong. And to top it off, I'm just recently pregnant. Please help.

Sandra

Sandra,

This isn't a money problem. This is your husband telling his pregnant wife that she's ruined his life … while he parks four cars in the driveway.

You're building a nest. He's building a hot wheels collection. And now he's blaming you for the fact that his choices have consequences. It sounds like you’ll soon have two babies to look after.

Here's what needs to happen:

You both sit down and have an honest conversation about what actually matters now. You will soon have a baby. You want them to grow up safe and secure, without the two of you fighting and stressing about money.

Tell him: "Here's what's important to me: Our baby. Our family. And not living under constant financial pressure."

Then be specific: "We need to sell at least two of these cars. We need a budget that doesn't eat my entire pay. And we need to stop pretending we can afford a lifestyle we can't."

Sandra, this must be incredibly stressful. The natural reaction is to sweep this under the rug and hope it gets better. Don't do that. 

Given you don't have close friends to confide in, I want you to reach out to a financial counsellor (1800 007 007). You need someone in your corner. In time, hopefully this will include your husband, but for now, you're in crisis and you need support and quickly. You need this sorted well before the baby comes.

Scott

The final letter

My hero, Warren Buffett, officially "went quiet" this week.

After 60 years of writing to shareholders, and having the world hang on his every word, he delivered his final piece of advice. And what he chose to say will surprise you ... especially if you feel like life is passing you by.

Yet I'm getting ahead of myself.

In a world drowning in financial influencers, best selling authors (gulp), and alpha-male gurus telling you how to get rich, Buffett has always been the one voice worth listening to.

Not just because of his billions, but because of how he earned them: living in small-town Nebraska, in the same house for decades, driving an average car, tap dancing to work each morning.

So what did he choose to say in his swan song?

Not a word about stock picks. Not one insight about beating the market.

Here's what one of the most successful people in history has worked out over his 95 years:

"Greatness does not come about through accumulating great amounts of money, great amounts of publicity or great power in government. When you help someone in any of thousands of ways, you help the world. Kindness is costless but also priceless."

Look, I'm well aware that billionaires can sell a perfect image of themselves to the world … yet you can't fake what your kids think of you. And I've spent time with Buffett's children. He sent them to public schools, encouraged them to follow their passions, and raised good humans instead of trust-fund brats. As a result they're humble, kind people who help others. Just like their dad.

And his final lesson? 

It's not too late for you.

He told the story of Alfred Nobel. When Nobel's brother died, a newspaper accidentally published Alfred's obituary instead. Nobel read his own death notice and was horrified: the world saw him as a merchant of death who'd made millions from explosives.

He changed his life completely that day, and today we remember him for the Nobel Prize, not dynamite.

Here's what Buffett wrote:

"I'm happy to say I feel better about the second half of my life than the first. Don't beat yourself up over past mistakes – learn from them and move on. It is never too late to improve."

It's never too late.

So tonight, instead of scrolling past another content creator farming your attention for ad revenue, close your eyes and think about your funeral.

What do you want people to say about you?

No one will bother talking about your car. Your house. Your title at work.

They'll tell stories of you being humble and kind.

Here’s Buffett’s advice: 

"Decide what you would like your obituary to say and live the life to deserve it."

So, open your notes app on your phone, and write your own obituary.

Then go give them some stories to tell.

Tread Your Own Path!