You Kicked Me in the Guts, Barefoot

Scott,

I was really disappointed by your comments last week to Melanie.

While I agree that framing the husband’s gambling expenditure as “what else could that money be used for” was a good idea, the way you said it felt like a kick in the guts to women:
 
“After all, he’s got a 1-in-140 million chance of winning the jackpot … but if he saved up his money and splurged on  a romantic night away with you (without the kidlets) … well, I’ll leave it up to you to explain his odds of hitting the jackpot.”

She is not an object to be bought or gambled upon. You have objectified her and mailed that out to your many followers. Her ‘putting out’ as a reward for attention and money is also playing into an old and damaging trope of women’s power and value only being in the pleasure we provide for men. It stinks of misogyny. You can do better, and Melanie (and the rest of us) deserve better than that.

Sally

Hi Sally

I’m sorry for offending you.

You need to know that you are not alone — I have been offending people for years.

(Recently I was accused of misandry — hating men — so I am at least an equal opportunity offender.)

In fact, these days I often run my column past my wife, just to make sure I edit out, in her words, “the country boy”.

(This one must have slipped through the cracks.)

So here are my thoughts.

One of the most difficult things about being in a relationship is managing money. That’s why I’ve written into my plan monthly Date Nights, so couples can talk about things over a nice meal and a wine and stay on the same page.

Perhaps I should have just said that, and left it at that.

Still, I’m a lover not a fighter, and I’ll gamble (almost) everything for love.

So I’ll just apologise and thank you for writing.