I’m Dying to Leave

Hi Scott,

My sister was unfortunately diagnosed with a terminal illness three years ago – added to that, she now wants out of her marriage. Suffice to say it is not a healthy environment for her to be in. Her three children are all at university and have part-time jobs, but my sister (who was a nurse) really can’t do much anymore. She would leave her husband but is worried that he would string out selling the house for 12 months, and she wants to travel while she can. She has a lot of superannuation but has been told she can’t access it until she has 24 months to live. Seriously, how does anyone know this without a crystal ball? What can she do to get some of her super, as it is her money?

Nicola

Hi Nicola,

What a heartbreaking situation.

Your sister is battling a life-threatening illness, a divorce and financial issues, all at the same time.

For her the clock is ticking, and she understandably wants to get out and live while she still can.

So you should encourage her to see a family lawyer immediately. You could go along to the meeting with her, and consider offering to be her Enduring Power of Attorney (POA). That way you can deal with the boring details while she gets on with living her best life.

She should also consider updating her will to bypass her husband, if she chooses to leave him. It’s usually a 12-month journey to get a divorce, but the property settlement can be done at any time. Again, see a lawyer: they can provide advice, while you can provide love and support to see her through.

Good luck.

Scott.

Escaping in the Middle of the Night

Dear Scott,

When I read your book three years ago I knew what I had to do. My husband had always had a temper, and in the back of my mind I knew I had to leave him.

With each Covid lockdown he got more depressed and more abusive towards me and my two girls. Last month we fled with just our overnight bags. It was all a blur.

This has been the toughest year of my life, but because of you I had a secret Mojo account that has allowed me to rent a tiny apartment and buy the essentials. We have financial security and personal safety. Thank you from the three of us.

Lisa

Hi Lisa

I’m so sorry for what your family has gone through.

Now we Barefooters are a big community, and I want to speak directly to the thousands of women who are reading these words and are currently living in a dangerous situation: you don’t have to wait to save up the money to cover the bare necessities, but you do need to have a support team around you before you go.

Speak to a financial counsellor (1800 007 007) about getting the basics in place. In many cases the counsellor can organise things quickly, including crisis payments, temporary accommodation, basic necessities, and dealing with your bank (they don’t advertise it, but I’ve found the banks do a bloody good job supporting women).

Family violence affects one in six women — of every age, in every wealth bracket, and in every suburb. Each year it feels like the rates of reported family violence get worse, but thankfully the help available gets better too.

Scott.

The best Mother's Day present

Many years ago, I was invited to a very exclusive finance dinner.

As luck would have it, I found myself sitting next to a VIP ... the chief of a large international bank.

He leant in, shook my hand, and began telling me all about his sprawling bank, which employed tens of thousands of staff and had millions of customers.

And then he said something that totally shocked me:

“We lend money only to women.”

“What?”, I blurted out.

“My bank lends money to small businesses. And we’ve found that when we loan money to women they use it to improve their living situations and educate their children … whereas men often squander it.”

Bingo, bango!

The famous bank chief I was sitting next to was none other than Muhammad Yunus.

Back in the seventies, Yunus did something that no one in his native Bangladesh had ever done before: he provided small business start-up loans to women — poor, uneducated women who lived in the backblocks.

People thought he was crazy.

See, at the time, 99% of loans were to men. If a woman applied, she was often laughed at and dismissed: “Go get your husband to apply.”

Yet Yunus understood the power of the mothering instinct ... these women wanted a better life for their children.

Yunus bet this would drive these mothers to work hard, to look after their kids ... and to repay their loans in full.

And that’s exactly what they did.

The result was that millions of people were pulled out of grinding poverty, and Yunus was awarded a Nobel prize.

Of course it doesn’t matter if you’re in Bangladesh or Bendigo — women tend to be more focused on financial security.

And you don’t need a Nobel prize to work out why: they have to be.

That’s because women are, on average, poorer than men.

They are more likely to do more unpaid work. They are also more likely to take time off their career to raise children. And they still get paid less than men, according to the Human Rights Council of Australia.

The result?

They have less money compounding over their working lives, so they retire with around half of what men have in super.

And so, on this Mother’s Day I’ve got a special request for you:

If you know a mum who’s struggling (whether yours or not) give her the gift of financial knowledge.

Offer to take her out on some Barefoot Date Nights. Help her work through the steps.

Odds are she’ll remember that more than the supermarket flowers she gets every year!

Tread Your Own Path!