Why you should invest like a girl

It was  International Women’s Day last week, so I’d like to talk to you about a Q&A session I’m doing next week at a high school with a bunch of teenagers.

I’ve done a lot of work in schools over the years, and here’s what I can tell you: if you push them for an answer, most teenage girls will tell you that they see themselves getting married, buying a house, and having kids.

Whether they’ve given it much thought is debatable: the fact is, that’s what society has taught them to expect. Then again, society has also taught them that boys are more financially valuable than them.

We all know that women get paid less than men.

And it starts early. Last week the Heritage Bank released a study saying that, when it comes to pocket money, girls get paid 26 per cent less than boys.

Why?

I have no idea. I’m tempted to write it off as a publicity play from a third-tier bank.After all, it’s hard to imagine that parents would actually pay a girl less pocket money than her brother of the same age, right?

Then again, it’s hard to believe that adults in corporate Australia — with HR departments and remuneration consultants — would on average pay an educated, accomplished women 19 per cent less than a similarly qualified bloke.

All of this goes someway to explaining why a NAB Wellbeing study this week found that young women under the age of 30 are more likely to be stressed about their finances than the rest of us.

That being the case, here are three things that I say to teenage girls when I talk to them.

Women are better investors than men

THIS is, like, so not fair.

However, the truth is that you have a natural advantage over men when it comes to investing.

Repeated studies show that women are much better investors than men, because they think long term and don’t take unnecessary risks.

Women have less ego, and are more willing to reach out and follow professional advice.

US-based financial firm SigFig analysed 750,000 portfolio accounts and found that women outperformed men by 12 per cent a year.

Romeo may arrive in a rented Alfa Romeo

DO you want the good news or the bad news?

The good news is that you’ll find a partner (the maths majors at the ABS say so). And I predict (well, the ABS does) that you’ll be walking down the aisle when you’re 28.3 years old. And you will have been shacked up with him for a number of years.

I also predict (with a little more help from the ABS) you’ll have your first kid at 29. (Scandal! Yes that’s right, you’ll be pregnant on your wedding day!). And you’ll be done and dusted with kids by the age 34.

Okay, now the bad news.

Once the kids come along, you get to work around the clock … and not get paid!Worse, your husband could decide that because he’s the only one earning a wage, it’s time to treat you like a teenager (again) and ration out the cash.

Relationships Australia suggests that you will fight about money. Now, if you married a jerk, it will take you 8.8 years to work it out, suggests the ABS.(A quick recap for the cool kids in the back row: you get married at 28.3, you have your first child at 29, and you’re back on Tinder at 37 … as a single parent.But let’s not be too negative.

There’s a good chance you’ll marry that hot guy and live happily ever after (actually it’s two in three, says the ABS).

Until he dies.Yes, those guys at the ABS just do not let up! The statistics are again in your favour — chances are you’re going to outlive him by 4.2 years.

Here’s the thing: in my job I see a lot of older women who haven’t played to their natural strength in being a superior investor.

The upshot is they have no freaking idea of how to manage their money. They’re petrified, and that’s no way to live.

A man is not a financial plan

I’VE been having fun with the ABS statistics, but the truth is, you’re unique. I don’t know what’s going to happen with your life. And right now you don’t know either.

However, the one thing I do know is that right now you are more powerful than you know.

Seriously, right now you have the ability to lay down million-dollar habits.

What habits?

Saving. Not getting sucked in by marketers who aim to make you feel incomplete, so you’ll buy their stuff. And, of course, trying out your God-given talent for investing.

The reason it’s critical that you start doing it now — even with just a few bucks — is that today you don’t have anyone telling you that you can’t do it.

But over the next 10 years, believe me, you will.

It could be your boyfriend. It could be your boss. It might even be yourself.

Ladies, quite simply, a man is not your financial plan.

Now don’t get me wrong. The aim of all this is not to become rich.It‘s not about living a Kim Kardashian lifestyle.

It’s not about coming back all botoxed up to your 20-year high school reunion.

It’s about being in control. It’s about being able to stand up for yourself.

And it’s ultimately about being able to sidestep a lot of the crap that many other women have to deal with. And if you meet a guy who is intimidated by your financial prowess, that’s cool too ...

You’ve just saved yourself 8.8 years.

Tread Your Own Path!

Whisky...as an Investment?

The Lord moves in mysterious ways.

An interview I’d hoped to bring you this week fell over at the very last minute - leaving me staring at a blank screen. Yet in the darkness of my deadline, he reached out to me and sent a message from above. (Okay, it came via Gmail). It read:

Dear Scott,

I thought I would share something my husband and I are looking into: Nant Whisky from Tasmania. They’re offering a 9.5 per cent compounded return on a 4-year investment of $25,000. Seems better rates than any term deposit or savings accounts. We thought this could pay for a new car or holiday every 4 years ($11,000 profit).

Thoughts?

Nicole

My first thought was ‘thank you Nicole for saving my bacon!’

My second thought after reading the Nant Whisky investment pitch was that I needed a very stiff drink.

By all accounts Nant produces a damn fine drop -- it’s been referred to as ‘liquid gold’ by a liquor buff -- and they’ve won awards at the World Spirit Awards. They’re also expanding rapidly into whisky bars across the Australia and Asia.

Yet it was Nant’s ‘investment opportunity’ that was giving me a hangover.

Nant offers investors the opportunity to buy two barrels of their single-malt whisky for $25,000.

Then Nant ‘guarantees’ that, in four years’ time, they’ll buy back the barrels for $36,007 (precisely). That works out to be a cracking 9.55 per cent per annum compounded return.

As Nicole wrote, that’s an $11,000 profit in four years.

Sniff! Sniff! Something smelled off. So I called up the company and spoke to Nant’s founder, entrepreneur Keith Batt in Brisbane.

Barefoot: “So who is behind the guarantee to buy back the whisky?”

Batt: “We are.”

Barefoot: “But you’re a bankrupt. You owe $16 million. And the company behind your last venture is in the process of being liquidated owing $20 million!”

Batt: “I’m the General Manager. I’m not the Director.”

Barefoot: “How much money have you taken from investors?”

Batt: “We don’t give out those figures … we’re a private company.”

Barefoot: “Yes, but you’re taking the public’s money. Specifically from mums’ and dads’ SMSFs. You run national newspaper ads using Aussie cricket legend Matt Hayden to spruik your investment and your ‘guaranteed’ returns.”

Sniff! Sniff! Something smelled off. So I called up Matty Hayden, who was in Bangladesh.

Barefoot: “Mate! What gives?”

Hayden: “Look, I love their whisky but I’m not involved in the strategy of the business. I’m seeking clarification on my current contract … as I haven’t been paid for a few months.”

(Fair enough. I hope he really likes their whisky. Maybe they’ll pay him in booze?)

Anyway, as my day wore on, the more people I spoke to about the business, the more concerned I got.

Sniff! Sniff! Something smelled off -- and then I found it -- it was cow dung.

Nant’s latest ‘investment opportunity’ is for investors to “buy 10 purebred Black Angus breeding cows, for $30,000”. And just like with the whisky barrels, investors are being lured by a guarantee: Nant guarantees they’ll purchase the cows back in five years’ time for $47,335.

Guess what the annual return works out to be?

The same as the whisky barrel investment: 9.55% per annum, payable in five years’ time.

So I called Nant and spoke to their PR person, in Brisbane.

Barefoot: “I may be a little stupid, but shouldn’t there be a difference between the returns an investor would get on whisky and what they’d get on cows? Why are you offering EXACTLY the same returns?”

Nant spokesperson: “We’re a vertically integrated company and we have opportunities to be retailers.”

Barefoot: “Uh-huh.”

The truth is you should never invest in anything you don’t understand -- even cattle.

That rules me out.

I have two cows. They’re named ‘Cash’ and ‘Frank’, and they were a wedding gift from a mate.

After years of having them knock over our fences, eat my wife's roses, and crapping all over the place,  I finally announced at the dinner table (over beef casserole, I believe) that it was time to sell them.

My toddler Louie’s top lip began to quiver: “No! Don’t take my Cash Cow Daddy!”

(They’re both still here.)

Anyway, let’s get back to our tale of investment beef jerky.

By now the smell was overwhelming, so I called up one of Australia’s leading cattle farmers, David Blackmore in Melbourne. His award-winning wagyu beef is served in posh restaurants like Rockpool and Nobu, and he exports to over 20 countries.

Barefoot: “What do you think of the returns Nant are offering?”

Blackmore: “Well, I’d struggle to achieve that return on our wagyu cows. And to pay that return to investors and still make a buck! Well that would be very … difficult.”

Barefoot: “You’re being kind.”

Blackmore: “I’ve been in agriculture for over 50 years and I’ve never seen one investor make money out of any of these schemes.”

Throughout my frustrating conversations with Nant, they kept on reiterating that they weren’t offering a financial product. There’s a reason for that. If they were, they’d have to issue a Product Disclosure Statement (PDS), and be regulated like any other investment company by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC).

“The investors, they own the cattle. At the end of the lease they’re free to take them ... and put them in their backyard if they wish.” said Nant.

Trust me on this -- you don’t want to do that. They’ll knock down your fences, eat your roses, and crap all over you. They’re not cash cows.So now let me get back to Nicole -- my gift from above -- and the woman whose innocent investment question kicked this all off.

Nicole, since I got your email I’ve worked my way around the world (well, Tassie, Queensland, and Bangladesh) and my advice for you is this:Grab your $25,000.Invest it in a simple online savings account -- which really is guaranteed (by the Government).

In a year’s time you’ll have earned roughly $875 (less taxes).

Not much? Sure.

But it’ll buy you a dirty big rib eye steak, and four bottles of Nant whisky.

It’s apparently a great drop.

Sniff, sniff!

Tread Your Own Path!