My Son has a Problem

Hi Scott,

My 18-year-old son has no value for money and thinks I am a human ATM! I still pay for his phone and his car insurance. He completed the VCE but did not want to pursue university. He is working part time at the moment and is also receiving Youth Allowance. However, every week without fail he will ask for a loan of cash on an IOU basis. He still believes it is my responsibility to pay his living expenses, and I cannot get through to him on this. 

Gary

Hi Gary,

I’m sorry but I think you’re wrong.

Your son doesn’t have a problem: he lives rent free in a nice joint, all his bills are paid, he’s getting a bit of money from Centrelink and a part-time job, and when that runs out he has access to cash whenever he wishes.

If I were to sit down with your son, I think he’d tell me his life is pretty sweet. No problems!

Gary, it’s you who has the problem.

So my question isn’t directed at him — he’s set himself up very nicely — it’s to you:

What are you going to do about this caterpillar?

You’ve got a slug munching away your food, and your wallet. The cocoon you’ve made for him sure is comfy!

Here’s the deal: he won’t find his life’s purpose sitting on your couch, eating your food, and spending your money.

If you want him to become a butterfly, he needs to spread his wings and fly off to a low-rent share house that has two-minute noodles as a staple meal.

(Yes, I’ve spent way too much of these holidays reading The Hungry Caterpillar.)

Given he’s still young, let him know that he’s welcome to fly back at any stage, on the proviso that he presents you with a solid plan (study, a trade, or a full-time job).

Good luck!

Scott