My Boyfriend’s Addiction Has Cost Us $30,000

Dear Barefoot,

I’m 25, and I’m really worried about how much my partner has lost on cars. He loves them, and I used to love that too – until his latest purchase, a $30,000 sporty luxury car (bought with a personal loan), turned into a financial nightmare. Expensive insurance, high running costs, and a brutal commute wore it down, then the engine blew – costing us $9,000. We cut our losses, bought a more practical (but still fun) VW Golf, and listed the old car for sale, but no one’s biting. We’ve dropped the price below $19,000, but we’re getting lowballed, and I’m terrified we’ll lose close to $30,000 overall. To top it off, he thinks I should buy my own car because I can’t drive a manual. I love him but I feel so helpless. I’ve always been frugal, and seeing this much money vanish hurts. Can you please tell me it’s going to be okay? 

Heather

Hi Heather,

Your partner is acting like my four-year-old, who spends all his pocket money on Tonka trucks (though at least he pays with his pocket money, rather than taking out personal loans like your partner does).

Now there is something your petrolhead partner probably knows … that he isn’t telling you:

This is possibly the worst year to be selling a second-hand car. 

That’s because right now a flood of second-hand vehicles is overwhelming the market, with the Australian Automotive Dealer Association (AADA) reporting a surge in listings but a sharp drop in sales. Cars are currently sitting on the market for nearly 49 days, and the AADA says 2025 is shaping up to be a bloodbath for sellers.

So, what to do?

Well, I think it’s time for your little boy to pack up his toys. This car needs to go, yesterday. I don’t care what he ‘believes it’s worth’ – he clearly ain’t an expert, and it’s a rapidly depreciating hunk of metal. So, if I were in your shoes, I’d drop the price aggressively, sell it, and clear as much of that loan as possible. If he still owes money on the loan, he needs to work his backside off to cover the difference.

Finally, let’s talk about you for a second. You say you’re frugal, yet you’re watching your financial future get torched. You can’t build wealth when your partner is setting it on fire, Heather. 

So, on your next Date Night you need to sit down, lay out the numbers, and have a genuine conversation about the fact that one of your core values is financial security. If he’s not willing to change, you might need to consider a trade-in of your own.

Oh, and one last thing: he thinks you should buy a car? 

No. You should learn to drive a manual. Problem solved – at zero cost!

Scott.