Hiding My Savings from My Hubby

Hi Scott,

My hubby racked up debt under both of our names from a repeatedly failed business idea. I’ve told him it’s risky and not to do it anymore, but he just resents me for ‘not supporting him’. He’s a financial bully. I have now left work and had a baby, so he can’t get money from me at the moment (he always tells me to give him money). Yet I secretly saved lots of cash before I left work. I keep it in a UBank USaver, but is it still best kept there? Do you have advice for people like me who have a financially reckless spouse?

Lisa

Hi Lisa,

‘Financial bully’ is another name for ‘abuser’.

You absolutely did the right thing saving up a secret stash before you went on maternity leave – without it you’d be in a very vulnerable position.
What advice do I have?

First, being married doesn’t mean you should have to put up with being bullied.

Second, I’d suggest you both see a relationship counselor to get to the bottom of these issues. Unless you confront it head on, things are unlikely to change.

Finally, if he refuses to get counselling, you should go and see a financial counsellor yourself (1800 007 007) and get some strategies to help build up that potential getaway fund … which is okay in UBank or any other account that he doesn’t have access to.

Scott