Daddy’s Girl

Dear Barefoot,

My father monitors my money from afar and, as a 25-year-old woman, I feel I am being treated like a child. He thinks my partner and I are financially illiterate, and disagrees with us having joint bank accounts (he and Mum keep their money separate). He does not have my account passwords, but he does ask for updates on my money, and has forceful discussions with me about my budget — talk about pressure! Reading your book, I want to take control of my money, but I know this will be very hard for Dad. How do I tread my own path?

Jessica

Hi Jessica,

Your old man just wants the best for you, but he’s got boundary issues.

You’ve probably worked this out by now, but forceful conversations about money are rarely about money — they’re usually about control — and it sounds like your father wants to control you just like he did when you were a kid.

Of course you’re now an adult, living with your partner, and your financial situation has nothing to do with your dad.

My suggestion would be to give him a copy of my book for Christmas. This will show him you’ve got your head in the right space financially. Then explain to him that if you ever need any further advice he’ll be the first person you ask.

Scott