Should I Call Off My Wedding?

Hi Scott,
 
I’m blindsided but I am in love. I’ve just discovered my fiancé has $9,000 of debt he accrued overspending on Afterpay and Uber Eats over a two-year period. He consolidated this debt into a loan (at 17.5% interest!) and I only found out when I opened a piece of mail from a bank neither of us use (or so I thought). I’m not sure what to do. I’m not going ahead with the wedding now, so we’ve likely lost $10,000 in deposits, and we have $14,000 in savings. For context, we live in a three-bedroom townhouse that I own. I don’t know whether to try and make it work or cut my losses and run. Please help!

Renata
 
Hi Renata
 
I know your type.
 
You really value financial security.
 
That’s why you own your home. That’s why you’ve already calculated how much backing out of the wedding will cost you. And it’s also why you’re asking me – a finance dude with no shoes – if you should call off your wedding, rather than, say, a relationship counsellor.
 
However, I don’t know your fiancé’s type … but you love him, so I’m willing to cut him some slack. After all, maybe he racked up the Afterpay and Uber Eats debts wining and dining you?
 
Like you, perhaps he’s also blindsided by love, but he just so happens to be clueless about money (which would make him a card-carrying Aussie).
 
My view?
 
Let’s give love a chance.
 
If you haven’t done it already, I’d sit down and paint him a picture of what your ‘happily ever after’ looks like. Go into all the scary details: a paid-off home, a million-dollar super fund, private schools for the kids.
 
And then smash him with the following line:
 
“I do not want to marry you if we’re not on the same page financially.”
 
Of course, there’s every chance this poor shell-shocked bastard will agree to whatever you say.
 
So, it’s then that I’d bust out my book and ask him to read it. If he takes it on board, sets up the Barefoot Date Nights, and starts aggressively paying down his debts, you’ll know your financial values are aligned.

 But what if he doesn’t do the work? Well, he’s shown you what he values, and you can both move on and find people who are your types.

Scott.