Nor Way! My Mother-in-Law is a Thief!

Hi Scott

We have had a bit of a shocker the past few days. My mother-in-law, who was visiting us from Norway, was arrested for shoplifting. We thought it was all a misunderstanding over a jar of manuka honey but, shockingly, she later admitted it was deliberate as she “didn’t feel like she’s worth much”. She also shared that she had incurred a huge debt (AU$1.7 million) on a bad business deal. She is 54 and is super-fit and organised, but she has not worked full time in a while and her main source of income is renting out rooms in her home, plus government handouts.

With my daughter-in-law hat on, I tried to encourage my husband to get her to see a counsellor. And, with my Barefoot hat on, I suggested she could sell an apartment she has that is worth $1 million. (She refuses to downsize from her main home as she is very attached to it.) Most importantly, I suggested she should get a job — any job! — because, aside from the financial upside, it would give her some purpose and a social life. But my husband tells me “she won’t get her government handouts” if she does. ARGH! What would be your 2 cents’ worth on all this?

Lexie

Hi Lexie,

Oh, I would be staying the hell away from this.

It sounds like your mother-in-law needs to sit down with a counsellor to help with her mental health.

If I were in your shoes, I’d encourage her to make an appointment with her GP, or call Beyond Blue (1300 224 636).

They’re qualified to deal with her situation, and they can refer her to a free financial counsellor.

Just understand that if she doesn’t want to get help then there’s nothing you can do. So, after encouraging her to see a professional, that’s exactly what I’d do: stay out of it, not lend her any money, and support your husband. That’s my 2 cents!

Scott