My Wife Has No Idea What I’ve Done …

Hi Scott

I write this with a heavy heart. Three days ago I found out that the investments that my wife and I were making were a scam. We have lost $90,000, our entire house deposit savings. The thing is, she doesn’t know yet. Tough pill to swallow.

This wasn’t a run-of-the-mill scam like clicking on a link or allowing a hacker access to our banking details – it was a sophisticated scam involving purchasing of ‘shares’ for multiple ‘companies’. What concerns me most is how do I face the shame when telling her? (Yes, she was on board with it at the time, but it was my idea.) During our Barefoot Date Nights, along with other topics, we discuss the shares we’ve ‘purchased’. This is probably my biggest fear – letting her down.

And where to from here? Four years of savings, all gone. Thanks to Barefoot we’ve been debt free, but I’m in such disbelief that our house deposit has vanished. Your words keep replaying through my head: “put it into a high-interest savings account if you plan on using it in the next five years”. Fool me once ...

Steve

Hi Steve

I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

The only thing you can do is to be honest with her. Admit that you screwed up and then quickly ‘assume the brace position’, as they say on the Qantas safety cards.

Then, once the turbulence has passed, I have a practical suggestion for you:

I want you to go on a Barefoot Date Night and ask yourselves the following questions:

– What can we learn from getting scammed?
– How could this be a good thing?
– What are we grateful for?

Look, this scumbag scammer already took your money. Don’t let him steal your most precious assets: your self-esteem and your time. You two got yourself out of debt and built up a deposit in four years. You’re still standing. You have each other. You’ll build back better. You got this.

Scott.