My Husband’s Secret

Dear Scott,

I’m a 48-year-old pharmacist. I have three children and a wonderful husband. All was rosy, or so I thought. My husband, who works in the finance game, has always taken care of our money. The day before his 50th birthday last week, he dropped a bombshell. Unbeknown to me, he had several credit cards and had not paid our taxes since 2017! The tax bill is now being determined by our new accountant (I fired the old one). And, thanks to our Mojo, we’ve knocked over the credit cards. But it has left me feeling angry and betrayed. My husband is extremely remorseful — he honestly thought he could handle the situation and didn’t want to worry me. Any advice?

Claudia

Hi Claudia,

I have a couple of thoughts.

First, check to see where the money has been going — has he been gambling?

(Don’t take his word for it. Check the statements yourself. If he has been, he has an illness, and you need to talk to Gambling Help pronto on 1800 858 858.)

As far as the tax debt goes, you’ll be able to enter a payment plan without too much trouble. (You can even do it online via MyGov. Your new accountant can help with this.)

Finally, will you be able to trust him with your money again?

Well, only you can answer that.

However, bear in mind that I doubt he did this to intentionally hurt you … it just got away from him.

And he’s obviously been living with the stress of this for a long time, hoping to get back in the black.

One way to rebuild trust is to do monthly Barefoot Date Nights, and another is to share the same transaction account.

These two things help Liz and I stay on the same page financially (while drinking wine and eating garlic bread no less!). It works for us, it may work for you.

Good luck!

Scott.