My Aussie Boyfriend Should Pay For Everything

Dear Moneybags,

I have a boyfriend of a few months who is Australian (I’m Indian) and in my culture it is customary for the man to pay for dinner, or at least ‘do the dance’ and insist that he pays. I am financially stable and can afford dinner but I would at least like the offer. It’s not like he doesn’t pay sometimes, it’s just that when I reach for my phone he doesn’t protest. What should I do to explain that doing the dance is polite where I come from?

Shiraz

Hi Shiraz,

Come on.

It’s just you and me.

You don’t need to play the games with old Barefoot.

It’s not really about the money, is it Shiraz?

It’s that you believe that a man proves that he cares about you by spending his money on you and treating you like a princess.

I’m not saying that’s wrong. It’s just what you believe.

Yet what is wrong is that you’re telling me about it … and not the poor bloke!

He’s wandering around the parking lot looking for a co-share Uber thinking he’s giving you respect and equality … but you’re waiting for the horse-drawn carriage!

When my wife and I began dating, we did this merry-go-round … but in reverse.

I thought I was being chivalrous by wanting to pay for everything.

Yet, as an independent woman, she thought I was a backward country boy (and still does, actually).

We sorted it out, though. We had to. After all, no relationship can thrive if you’re on the wrong bus.

What did we do?

We set up a monthly Barefoot Date Night.

So, Shiraz, if you are serious about this bloke, you need to tell him that’s how you expect love and validation to be shown. Don’t blame it on your culture – and don’t feel shame. Just tell him.

Good luck.

Scott.