HELP! My Partner has No Idea How Screwed Up I Am
Hi Scott,
I am at a low point. I have been with my partner for a year now, and I know she is ‘the one’. I want to propose ASAP but I have debt from my earlier days, and I urgently want to be rid of it before proposing. Here is my situation: credit card $15,000 (at 0 per cent, expiring in May), line of credit $15,000 (at 0 per cent, expiring in September), personal loan $10,000 (at 10 per cent), mortgage $290,000 on a house valued at $330,000 (rented out at $1,100 per month), salary $85,000 plus super. Please help me, Barefoot! I do not want to start married life with debt hanging over me.
Hugh
Hi Hugh,
That’s the power of love!
Or more likely, it’s the power of overplaying your hand while you were dating -- showering her with gifts, acting like you had it all together and were husband material -- and then madly scrambling to live up to the expectations you’ve laid.
Welcome.
You’re at least 16 months of two-minute noodles away from getting engaged.
You’ve got $40,000 worth of debt. I assume you’re also having to tip in at least $500 a month on your investment property. You’re taking home roughly $5,300 a month. So you should be able to save around $2,500 per month to knock off your debt if you really pull your horns in.
That means you’ll be debt free in 16 months ... and then you can start saving for the wedding! If she’s a Bridezilla (and you won’t know until you’re 90 days out), you’ll be hit with another $40,000 bill, which is the average cost of a wedding these days. It’s a long road ahead, bucko.
My advice?
I’d be honest with her.
She’s going to work it out anyway when you start wining and dining her at the Ikea food court -- “Oh these Swedish meatballs are amazing!”
Admit to her the mistakes you’ve made. Show her you’re man enough to buckle down and get through them without having to sacrifice your long-term investments.
Tell her you’re doing it for her, and your future family.That’s the sort of bloke I’d like to marry (well, if I wasn’t married already, and if I was gay, which I’m not, and if gay marriage was legal, which it’s not). You get my drift. And remember, if it turns out she’s turned off by your lack of cash, well that’s a very good outcome too.
The bottom line is that you’re not the first fella who’s punched above his weight to impress a woman.
Now live up to it.
Scott
