The Day I Got Pregnant ...

Hi Scott,

My partner and I married in April 2016. A month later it came out that he had massive debts from online spending. He had lied to me for the last 10 years. We had counselling, and he proceeded to pay off everything except a BIG debt of $40,000 (he runs his own business and earns $150,000 a year). Money is still a major issue, though he says paying off the debt is priority number one. Now, unexpectedly, I am pregnant, with around $10,000 in savings. Yet the day I confirmed my pregnancy with the GP, he bought an $800 briefcase. I am terrified -- what can I do?

Vickie

Hi Vickie,

If he’s earning $150k in his own business, he’s obviously no dill -- he’s just depressed. His spending is a symptom of that depression. However, by deciding to have a family with him, his out-of-control spending is now your problem too.

So if I were in your situation, I’d sit down and call him out on his bulldust: he’s got a problem, and he needs to deal with it:

First, by getting help from a professional (call Beyond Blue).

Second, by working with you. From now on you share the one joint bank account, you have an equal vote on where the family money goes, and you have a regular monthly Barefoot Date Night where you plot and plan and scheme about all the things you’re going to do to secure your family’s future.

Let him know you believe that he has it in him. Then hold him to it.

Scott