My wildest testimonial ever

The prisoner stared deep into my eye sockets, leant back in his chair, and slowly raised his hand.
 
“Can I share something?” he asked.
 
“Shhhh … ure” I said nervously, looking at the other inmates sitting around the prison table.
 
“Before I got locked up in here, I read your book, and I set up all my Barefoot Buckets. But I also added another bucket that I named … ‘Drugs’. And it worked like magic. I never missed my rent or my rego, and I always had plenty of money for my drugs”, he said triumphantly.
 
Weirdest testimonial ever.
 
However, as I looked around the room, all the hardened crims were nodding their heads approvingly.
 
Then I hit them with it.
 
“The Barefoot Benchmark is to try and live off 60% of your income”, I announced.
 
“And then you set up savings buckets for treating yourself (Splurge, 10%), long-term savings goals (Smile, 10%) and putting out financial fires (Fire Extinguisher, 20%).”
 
Folded arms.
 
In a cost of living crisis, who the hell can live off 60% of their income?
 
Answer? Not many.
 
In fact, after reading my book, people write to me all the time – OFTEN IN ALL CAPS! – telling me how deluded I am. You can sense the murderous rage exploding out of each exclamation mark!
 
Yet today I was sitting across from men who had literally killed people.
 
So, reading the room, I told the inmates that the percentage splits don’t really matter, suggesting they use it more as an exercise to find out just how much it costs you to keep your high beams on.
 
I explained that things may be so tight that some people could be only putting $2 into their Smile bucket. What really matters is that you set up all the buckets and put the entire plan on autopilot. And that is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card.
 
Final tip: don’t do drugs … or at least try not to get caught.
 
Tread Your Own Path!