A tough Christmas?

Last week I did an (unpaid!) gig for Australia’s largest mental health support organisation, Beyond Blue.
 
Unbeknown to me, an eager beaver from their comms team went ahead and entitled the presentation “Take the pressure down: A guide to navigating end-of-year stress with Beyond Blue and the Barefoot Investor.”
 
As I read the title, a shot of anxiety squirted smack bang into my left eyeball … a place that’s generally reserved for my two-year-old, who is currently attempting to drop his afternoon napandpotty training.
 
Beyond Blue’s commissioned research has revealed that the overwhelming majority of people (77%) are feeling stressed heading to the end of the year, and over eight in ten of them say the top stressor impacting their mental health is financial pressure.
 
What could I say about that?
 
Quite a lot actually, though I was a little stressed that I was about to depress everyone, which kind of goes against the entire ethos of Beyond Blue.
 
You see, I actually don’t agree that it will be a tough Christmas formostpeople.
 
Yes, I know only too well that forsomepeople – like many financial counselling clients, and the people I’m serving at the local Foodbank – it’s going to be pretty grim.
 
For the rest of us?
 
Not so much. The fact is we’re rear-ending another ‘annus horribilis’, to quote the dearly departed Queen. And so many of us will, either consciously or unconsciously, let it all hang out over the holidays, and pinky promise ourselves that we’ll ‘get it under control’ in January (or February). In other words, there ain’t no one counting calories when the Christmas pudding gets passed around.
 
So let’s you and I talk about how to make this Christmas the most enjoyable one yet.
 
Quick quiz time:  
 
What did you get for Christmas last year?
 
Go on, stop reading now, and spend 10 seconds thinking about it.
 
You’ll be lucky if you can remember one thing. (Fun fact: I did this with my four children, who each have Christmas lists longer than my last manuscript, and even they couldn’t remember more than a handful of things.)
 
Chances are you (or your kids) won’t remember the gifts you received – but you likelywillremember the vibe of the house, especially if it was full of stress and anxiety.
 
So I have a couple of suggestions.
 
First, don’t be a tight-arse this Christmas.
 
It’s been a tough year. Life is for living, so spend lavishly on nice food and booze (or mocktails for us teetotallers). You’ll get a similar dopamine rush anticipating and enjoying a nice spread than you will from that soap-on-a-rope gift set. So go all out on the Christmas pudding.
 
(Another fun fact: each Christmas my father threatens to slip coins into the pudding for the kids to ‘discover’ as they’re eating, just like when he was a kid. Depending on how much Christmas cheer he’s had, the results could range from diarrhoea to death. Seriously, do you know how much bacteria there is on the average coin? It’s always a tense time for Liz … “What if one of the children swallows a 20-cent piece? They’ll choke!”)
 
Second, don’t focus on the economy, or house prices, or interest rates, or your boss – you have no control over any of that. Instead focus on what you can control, and take some small but decisive steps to build your confidence and control.
 
And lastly, don’t waste money on expensive presents for adults.
 
They don’t want or need another scented candle. Or a key-ring. (Which is what my wife bought me a few Christmases ago. Nothing says 11 years of marriage quite like a key-ring wrapped and put under the tree: “You’re always losing your keys, so I thought this would be … practical”, she said, passively aggressively.)
 
Ho! Ho! No!
 
Instead, I’d suggest buying people books. They’re cheap (under $30), don’t need a card (just scribble a message on the first page), and the bookshop will even wrap it for you. Best of all, it says to the recipient “I think you’re smart”, which is, after all, the emotion you’re really trying to buy.