My Wife is too Spiritual to Work

Hi Scott,

My wife and I have been married almost 16 years and we have school-aged kids. I have always encouraged her to contribute to the family budget. And she has, but earns just a few hundred dollars a month with her holistic medicine business. She is a very spiritual person and does not believe in hard work. Our Date Nights get stuck — we just cannot buy a house and develop financial independence. Should I persevere, or respect her right to work as little as she wants?

Barry

Hi Barry,

If I were in your shoes … actually I wouldn’t be in your shoes, because before we got hitched my wife and I signed up for marriage counselling. The pastor asked a lot of very direct questions, like: “How much do you want to earn?” and “What role do finances play in your life?”

Bad luck, Baz! That ship sailed 16 years ago, and now you’re up a creek without a paddle.

Now I don’t have a tarot card, but I’d suggest there’s something deeper going on with her. The “I can’t work because I’m a spiritual person” is an excuse. After all, Jesus was a chippie who got on the tools (though he didn’t work on the Sabbath). Something’s going on. Yet arguing with her is unlikely to work.

So what can you do?

Well, don’t make it about her. Instead, focus on your kids.Kids model their parents, and she’s teaching them to avoid work and shirk financial responsibility.

How will that shape their lives?

What consequences will that have for them?

Here’s the deal: hard work has its own reward. You could even say the feeling of doing a great job … is spiritual.

Scott