Help! My Mother-in-law Breeds Siamese Fighting Fish

Hi Scott,

I get along well with my mother-in-law — it’s her business ideas that drive me nuts. One day she discovered the marvellous world of pet breeding, specifically high-end ragdoll cats. Quite good money for cute little kittens. She took a loan — from my wife — and off she went. But the kittens turned into old cats, with no buyers. That was 10 years ago, and it almost bankrupted my wife. Lesson learnt? No! She switched to great blue mastiffs (very Instagram worthy), but still no buyers. Lesson learnt? No! Next came Siamese fighting fish!

And that brings us to today. She holds to the idea of entrepreneurship like a lottery ticket, thinking her luck will change overnight. We have shown her that if she had taken the dole and saved it, instead of buying animals, she would be in a better position. Even those poor creatures would be better off anywhere but where she has them. But she doesn’t want help. How do you make someone so delusional see the red numbers?

Craig

Hi Craig,

She sure sounds like she’s having lots of fun!

You? Not so much.

To you, the answer to her problems is so simple it’s like shooting Siamese fighting fish in a barrel: “Stop doing this, you’re going broke!”

Yet she seems purr-fectly happy with her monetary menagerie, mate!

So let me give you the same advice I give any family member who writes to me:

Never, ever ‘lend’ money to your family or friends.

Give it to them instead.

Mentally, get to a point where you’re giving away the money: surrender any thought of it ever being repaid. Which is a decent strategy if you know she’s using it to breed pets she’ll struggle to later give up.

So on this Mother’s Day I want you to stop off at the butcher and get as many bones and offcuts as you can carry.

Then tell her the debt is forgiven!

(And never lend her money for ragdoll cats again.)

Scott.