GoFund My Lifestyle!

Dear Scott,

A young relative of mine, a single mum with a one-year-old, is in such a bad state that she posted her financial hardship story on a ‘crowdfunding’ website. The only donation she got was from her own mother — which (to me) says her mum is happy for her daughter to beg! She owes money for bills, a car and other things — and has even been to one of those debt companies you see on TV that ‘help’ you pay your bills, but to no avail. I genuinely want to do something, but I have learnt from trying to support her mum over the years that you can’t help those who won’t help themselves. So I am writing to you to get some constructive advice. I can’t sit by and watch her become homeless!

Nadine

Hi Nadine,

So you’re annoyed that her mum took your hard-earned money and started weeing it up against the wall!

Now you’re wondering if the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.And you know what? You’re probably right.

However, if you genuinely want to help this young woman, you’re going to have to really connect with her.

So, let’s you and I look at life from her perspective:

She’s a single mother, deeply in debt, unable to pay her bills, and now resorting to begging for a buck. Trust me, she doesn’t need your judgement — she’ll be judging herself more harshly than you ever will.

The bottom line is that she’s scared she’ll never get out of her situation … just like her mum.

What she really needs more than anything (much, much more than a handout that enables her bad behaviour) is someone in her corner who truly believes in her. Someone who believes she has what it takes to eventually dig herself out of the hole she’s dug herself into. Right now she probably believes it’s a hopeless situation.

So take her out for coffee and show her page 189 of my book. It’s a profile of a single mother who I nicknamed ‘Mojo Mamma’ . This young mum was once all alone, with thousands of dollars in debts, and trying to escape a bad family. It took her years of hard work, studying at night, and scrimping and saving.

But she made it.

And today that woman is one of the strongest people you’ll ever meet.

Even better, her young son is going to grow up knowing how much of a fighter his mother is. Now of course your support and encouragement may not work … but how amazing would it be if it does?

Scott