First-time caller, long-time listener. In May I was all set to be married to what I thought was a lovely gentleman. I always had a sneaking suspicion that he carried a reasonable amount of debt (due to his lavish spending), but I finally pried it out of him: he owes $107,000 on credit cards! What should he do? What should I do? Can a leopard change their financial spots? I am 39 and was hoping to have a child ASAP!
Greetings, and welcome to the Jerry Springer section of my weekly Q&As.
Actually, my first thought when I read your question was that you may have been a contestant on Married at First Sight. And I had the same reaction that my wife has when she watches that show (mumbling and shaking the head). Anyway, thank god you found this out before walking down the aisle.
Your discovery is a game-changer, for a few reasons:
First, because there’s something off about a bloke who only admits to his fiancé that he’s got $107,000 in credit card debt when he’s pushed. That’s not normal. What other questions should you be pressing him on?
Second, because you’re planning on having children with this guy, so you need him to be a good provider. That’s not being sexist, it’s being a realist. You’re probably going to take time out of the workforce to raise children, so you need to be able to rely on him to provide. Unless he’s earning very good dough, he won’t be able to.
Finally, because he’s a financial loser. That’s not very nice to say, and very judgemental. However, there are two instances when you’re allowed to be judgemental: when you’re watching reality TV, and when you’re choosing a life partner.