Dr Phil, Where Are You?

Hi Scott,

I am 27 and newly married. My husband earns over double what I do, and he does not like the idea of combining our finances. Instead, things are split down the middle, though he saves over twice the amount I am able to. Is there a way to start broaching the Barefoot ideals without having huge arguments? I am really unsettled by it.

Emma

Hi Emma,

I actually read your question out to Liz ... and she shut me down as only a wife could: “Honey, you’re not Dr Phil ... just stick to the finance.”

Bam! That’s why I love my wife -- she gives me brutally honest feedback, and most of the time I don’t even have to ask for it!

Still, I’m going to sidestep her sledge and answer your question. Reason being, I’ve had thousands of conversations with couples, and the number one predictor of staying together is whether or not they share their finances. (Okay, so another predictor would be if hubby is shagging his secretary, or if wifey is an ice addict … but you get my drift.)

It makes sense when you think about it: How do you think his plan is going to work when you leave work to raise kids? Seriously, how can you plan a life together if you don’t share your money?

Here’s what I’ve worked out: the person who doesn’t want to share has control issues (that would be your husband) -- and the other eventually learns to adapt. A study released this week by Finder.com.au found that nearly one in three Aussies keeps at least some of their spending a secret from their partner.

No winners there.

So, what should you do?

I’d suggest you have your husband read my book, The Barefoot Investor: The Only Money Guide You’ll Ever Need.

Yes, that’s a blatant plug, but there’s a good reason: I’ve structured the steps around having Barefoot Date Nights where you work on your finances as a team (with wine and garlic bread in your hand).

And if he refuses?

Well, far be it for me to play Dr Phil, but I’d suggest you take a leaf out of my wife’s book, and tell it to him straight.

Good luck.

Scott