As someone who fell down the Afterpay rabbit hole and got stuck in a cycle for three years, I completely agree with what you are saying. I added up every single purchase I had made and found I had spent a disgusting $19,338.39 since April 2016! Seeing that figure was both humiliating and eye-opening. I realised I have a problem, so I have sent Afterpay an email to block any further transactions and to close my account when the current orders are paid off. I am gutted and ashamed that I have thrown away so much money ‒ I look around and cannot even tell you where it went. Afterpay is toxic.
Let’s look at the bright side: at least you didn’t do use a credit card.
I deal with shopaholics all the time, and their biggest bill is interest to the bank. However, what it sounds like you’re saying is that AfterPay got you into a merry-go-round of misery. At least you didn’t graduate from the weed to the heroin.
As I’ve said before, maybe in the future we’ll have before-and-after photos like they do with meth heads:
Before: This is excited Anna, aged 23, buying the cutest diamante collar for her pet pug on Afterpay.
After: This is agitated Anna, aged 24, buying dog food (for herself) with a Nimble loan.
Look, you’re never going to win if you don’t learn to stand on your own two feet and pay your own way. So good on you for getting clean!