You’re earning how much? I asked, eyebrows raised, head cocked to the side.
“Well, I’m earning three times what you’re getting on your piddly UBank USaver, bucko”, said Craig, a fifty-something executive I met this week.
Craig wasn’t investing in shares. He wasn’t investing in property. He was investing in — get this — credit cards. But Craig isn’t a hacker — though he is using the latest technology, ‘Peer to Peer’ lending. (Which is pretty boring, so I call it ‘Dude to Dude’ lending.)
How does it work?
It was a corker of a deal.
In 2012 the Labor Government, fresh from ballsing up GroceryWatch, FuelWatch and RuddWatch, announced they were putting the screws on the Big Four banks.
It was pure political gold: Australians get slugged with some of the highest bank fees in the world, and we’re as mad as hell about it. Or at least A Current Affair is, as told through the eyes of some angry old bird they always seem to find walking out of a Westpac in Western Sydney.
Tuesday, 5pm, bath time.
I’m going toe to toe with my toddler Louie, and losing. Badly.
“Oh come on! You brush your teeth for your mother every single night! If she comes in here and finds you haven’t done your teeth, we’re both in trouble.”
But it was no use. The more I pleaded, the tighter he gritted his teeth.
I knew what he wanted.
It’s official: we’re a bunch of financial fatties. This week it was revealed that Australian households have the world’s biggest level of debt.
There’s a standoff at the high chair. Louie studies my face intently — looking for the slightest bit of leeway. I give him nothing, so he proceeds to chuck a tanty, throwing his corncob on the floor and crying like Bob Hawke. Thirty seconds later he’s giggling and eating his carrots again.
I had my very own “shoeshine boy” moment this week.
In 1929, wealthy investor, Joe Kennedy (JFK’s old man) was sitting down in New York City getting his shoes shined. When the shoeshine boy began giving him advice on which stocks to buy, Kennedy had an epiphany: it was time to sell. Legend has it that he rushed back and sold out all his holdings, just in time to avoid the 1929 stock market crash.
“My grandmother loves you”, said a young woman I met recently.
She explained that her Nana was forever clipping out my newspaper columns and sending them to her in the mail. I imagine that would be quite a let down. After all, aren’t grandparents supposed to send handwritten cards with $20 notes stuffed inside them?
Don’t do anything related to finances until you’ve discussed it with your spouse. Remember, happy wife, happy life.
Wealthy businessmen have been exploiting poor people for hundreds of years. The Nimble founders are just tweaking it slightly and ripping off kids.
Having that much credit card debt is the financial equivalent of being an obese chain smoker. You need to wipe out debt, and fast.